Talking Shit!

[aychamo_aycono]

Does anyone else love talking shit to people?

I'm a small guy. I'm about 5'11" and pretty slim. Say like a 38" chest. I don't really have any muscle, just tone or whatever, cause I'm a distance runner.

Anyways, I tell you this because I'm not some scarry ass Iannis mother fucker.

So to the stories. I love talking shit to the people in my town, cause I always seem to get away with it.

Before I had cut my hair, I was in the mall, and these two dudes my age were walking towards me, and one goes kinda says in a smart ass way, after he passed me up "cut your hair haha", like trying to sound cool to his friend. I'm by myself, but I turn around, and go "What did you say?" and he goes "Yeah your hair looks gay" so I go "Oh you're a real genius, I'm not the one walking around the mall with a guy." Now I was half expecting them to come talk more shit, but they just walked away.

And one time it was three of us at the mall, and we were screwing around in the parking lot, and this Jeep Cherokee with 4 dudes in it starts looking agitated at us. Now, my friends are crazyz. So they get me to roll up to the guys, and, well, my passenger-rear window's regulator is broken, so only mine rolls down. So we pull up next to the car full of dudes, and start talking shit. Someitmes when I get into talking shit, I like to try to outsmart the other person. They started saying things, we starting saying things back. My friend Stephen said some of the funniest things I've ever heard (no one, and I mean no one in this world can come up with shit half as funny as this guy Stephen, his pic is on my webpage in Friends section). Anyways, so we're laughing, and they are mad, and I end up hocking a loogie and spitting it in their rolled down window. Then I pulled up a bit so they couldn't spit back, and then they ended up leaving the parking lot, and we followed them. They kept trying to swerve into me, and my friends were saying to let them hit me, but I kept moving, then we got next to them and the guy tried to spit on me, and we were moving and it looked like it blew back in his face (haha stupid, I laughed hard). Anyway they ended up turning.

One time I'm driving and this guy got really, really mad at me and he was screaming blood-thirsty comments to me, so I pull over to fight (I'm not sure what I would have done), but he kept going.

One time its me and my friend Eric, who is 5'2", no muscle, etc, basically a short me, but more of a pussy than I am. And we pull up next to these two black dudes. And they are jamming their shit music, and I start mocking them. And one rolls down the window, and starts talking shit, and I just fucking yelled at him. I'm guessing it scared him pretty good.

And one time this vette is being a shitty driver, so I start honking for him to go, so he does the shit where he slams on his brakes to cause an accident, and I hate that shit because you're deliberaty trying to cause an accident. So I actually get mad. All these other times I'm not mad, but I just like to cause the shit. And I follow the fucker, and he pulls into his house and gets out of his car and runs over to me and starts yelling shit. THIS MOTHER FUCKER IS MY OLD BOSS. But he didn't recogznice me because I had nearly a beard, and the long hair. This got bad. My boss is huge. He would beat the shit out of me. But it never got to that. He kept wanting me to get out of my car, I may be a pussy, but I'm not stupid. It actually kinda was scarry. He knew I was following him, so It worried me he may have called the police on me. So I didn't stay long. But he said something about me not having a dick, so I go "Why are you so interested in my dick, are you gay?" And he goes "No but you are!" and I go "What makes you think that?" and he yells "YOUR BOYFRIEND TOLD ME!" And I start laughing. And I go "Oh whats my boyfriends name?" And he starts saying stupid things, and I keep asking him how he was so familiar with my gay boyfriend, etc.

And then today. This guy, I have no idea why, he does the thing where he pulls halfway into the next lane to like see me, so I turn into my apt complex, and he does the slow drive by evil look thing. So I stop. He stops on the side of the road. I'm just waiting for his gay ass to come try to fight me. He gets out of his car, then gets back in. I still stay there. So he gets out, and he's this huge guy, I'm like "haha wtf am I going to do?" So I yell "Whats your problem man?" He didnt say anything so I go "What are you going to fucking come fight me man?" and he goes "No you're too small to fight" so he keeps walking to me, hes like 3 feet from my window. Now, I may have a decent set of balls, but I'm not going to let this jackass pull me out of my car and beat my ass, so I have my finger the whole time on my gate opener remote keeping the gate open for my apt complex. So I'm like "Why you getting so mad?" And he stops and looks at my licences plate, so I go "Haha what are you doing, looking at my license plate? Thats so fucking stupid" and he looks at me and I go, I swear, "You fat piece of shit go back to your car" and he actually just walks back to his car and I yell "Faggot!" and "Pussy!" as he's walking away

Now, I'm sure I'll end up with my tires flat tomorrow morning, or something of the like, but I'm not too worried.

The thing you have to keep in mind, is that most of the time I'm not really mad. I have a system to talking shit that has kept me safe so far. First, my doors are always locked. Second, unlesss like the situation with my friends at the mall, and we want to fight, I won't EVER get out of my car. I don't let anything the people say bother me. And I always have plenty of gas in my truck. If I ever get into bad shit, I'll fucking get on the interstate and drive until they give up. Haha.

I do know I'll end up getting my ass kicked, but thats fine because I havne't been in a real fight for several years now (last fight was me and my roommate, we were pissing each other off, so I said "fine lets do this" and we wrestled on the ground, no punching, but shit like pushing his face into the lynoleum floor. It took forever, he is a fit little guy, and I was near the prime of my distance running shape, we wrestled probably for 15 minutes, and he finally gave up when I had his face in the floor for a while, he had mine there too at some point, and it fucking hurts to have your nose pushed into the ground.

Anyways, I don't claim to be tough, I just like talking shit sometimes, and putting in interesting things. My theory is if I ever get my ass kicked, I'm so going to press charges, not to sue, but to put their ass in jail. I'm just a pussy coward Doesn't matter, usually I'm nice, but sometimes it just happens

Anyways, anyone else ever get into odd sitatuoins that require shit talking?

[water bottle]

if you e ver talk shit to me, ill just shoot you

[crafdising]

you seem to have alot in common with this guy ...

http://maddox.xmission.com/oil.html

[Iannis]

Lets see, horror stories from the good ol' South. Me and a bud once split some kind of meal because we didn't have enough cash to buy seperate food...some dumbasses accused us of being faggots, so we waved our asses at them and asked if they had any reason in particular for asking...(they didn't follow up with anything.)

I remember 4 big rednecks tailed our car for awhile because they wanted to get the numbers of the two girls I was with. I was with a motherfucker as big as me, though, so we felt pretty safe and secure. Pulled into a Super K-mart lot and told them to fuck off. They hit the car with some kind of tool as we pulled back off...think that was the closest I ever came to an actual brawl.

The worst fights had to have come from friends, actually, like you said about your roommate. As for pressing charges: that isn't pussy, that's FUNNY. One friend broke his hand from punching a guy in the skull too hard STILL is on probation 4 years later. Fucked up our plans for roadtrips, dammit...i'm going to kick his ass...

of course we have had high-speed chases across town evading police, but that doesn't count. FUCK SPEEDING TICKETS MAN

[Concerned Psychologist]

I don't expect people to take shit talking seriously. I'm probably the kind of guy that would walk down the street and call your hair cut gay lol

As for fights, well fuck I'm not much of a fighter, but I ussually just win with intimidation, I'm 6 4 190 pounds. I don't work out or measure my chest, but I work in construction so I'm not a pussy.

I don't have stories that I could make sound interesting, most of the stuff I do, you have to be there to really get the feeling. Like the time I was on shrooms and we followed these guys for about 20 miles. They finally stoped to "start shit," There were 4 of us so we just laughed our asses off and they drove away confused as all hell.

As for people who talk shit to me. I just say something back and nothing happens, if a fight starts a fight starts.

[Eomer]

I don't go out of my way to start shit on the street or anything, but I don't back away either. I am a relatively small guy, 5' 9", so I can't go around pissing every jackass off .

However in hockey my mouth runs more or less constantly, and fighting isn't too unusual, but it's not common. It's beer league, so as long as you know what you are doing (and I do), size doesn't matter. Most guys don't have the first idea what they are doing. Most of the time it is stick work and shit, which I fucking hate. I would rather a guy punch me in the face than hit me in the back of the leg with his stick while I am not looking.

I still have fond memories of a few years back, first game of my summer season. It was about two minutes into the game, and the puck came out to me at about center ice (I play D). I just shot it back into the zone to let the forwards chase it. About a full two count after I shot it, some guy coming off the other team's bench skates by and punches me in the face. Getting punched in the face with a hockey glove is like being hit with a pillow. I laughed, then caught up to the guy, spun him around, and before he knew what happened I pulled off his helmet (pussy was wearing a full cage), and landed half a dozen quick jabs on his forehead/top of head (I didn't wanna bust anything) before he even had a chance to drop his gloves, or even his stick.

Funny thing was, even his teammates that saw the whole thing didn't have a problem with it. He never came near me the rest of the year.

Another time, for whatever reason, I called a guy a "penis". He looked at me and said "oh that's really original." I thought about that a sec and asked him why he figured it was so common that people thought he looked like a penis. He didn't really have an answer :/

[Blackwinds]

yeah i just finished my first varsity football season for my school im a tight end, and a junior.

We beat the rival team across town, shaking hands with the team after we beat the snot out of em, one guy doesnt put his hand out so i give him a friendly shove on the shoulder, he freaks out, comes back around and hes like hey 29 come here 29 im gonna remember you 29 kept saying that.

my friends and i were laughing our asses off at this fool, who had to be a wide receiver, maybe 150 pounds < less? , our coach is real punctual he was like "Good game, go in"

well... i didnt go in, two friends ( our center and right guard) and I walked to the other teams bus, luckily i remembered the guy was #5, we climbed onto their bus,

it just so happens he was in the front we grabbed him took him off the bus and beat the shit out of him, turns out the entire team hates him so they all watched laughing. I think this was the first time ive ever beat someone to bleeding, boy did it feel good.

[WarderX]

One time i shot a kid in the ass with a airsoft gun!

[Concerned Psychologist]

Pardon the stupidity, but what's an airsoft gun?

[Blackwinds]

like a bb gun only shoots plastic pellets, some are cheap like my spray painted Glock 9mm with cocking hammer and clip, god its fucking scary, others are quite quite painful (rifles)

[water bottle]

one time my friend called me a pussy so i served him in the dome

another time i was at a "boxing party" and these 2 faggot kids wanted to box me and my friend, we were like no thanks. They came back like 3 more times, finally it looked like we were about to just fight, so i got pissed off enough and chucked my beer can at one of the dudes faces, than i got jumped by 8 of his buddies, wound up waiting in the ER for 7 hours. I only came out of it w/ a broken nose, few bruises on the body and a couple stitches. Fuck those kids.

[Eager Val'Sharess]

I don't do the crap talk thing, I'm afraid some big guy will actually decide to punch me.

However, once a UPS truck cut me off and it annoyed me. I'd had a bad day. Sooooo I followed him to his first stop and parked about 30 feet behind his truck. He delivered his package, gave me a brief glance, got back in his truck and kept going. After about 20 minutes of this, he stopped his truck and just didn't get out. I guess he thought I was loony tunes or something lol.

[Jimmy Carter wuwu]

I dont really talk shit. But if someone says nudges me ill hit them back etc. In my life ive only got in 4 fights and the fights consist of me hitting them and they either fall down or walk away. I've never had a fight where they acutally fight back. Ok so in Middle School for no reason this Handicap retard hits me. Im a right hand guy but when I get furious I dont think it just comes natural I swing my left hand and the retard went straight to the ground. thats #1

#2 High school. This kid mostly fat, Shaved head, likes to pick on people who dont think they will hit back. Well I'm at my locker he Royal Pimp slaps me across the back of my head so you know I give him a shrug and while he is walking off I quietly walk behind him and i swear I Hit this kid 8 times in the back of the head and he blacked out and just slowly walked away.

#3 High school. Fat ass kid that thinks he is "one of the group" you know the kid is only friends with 1 of the guys and the rest of the guys hate him and the guy that "likes" him really hates him. Well anyway. Some where in the Conversation friend mentions his chick sucked his dick well the fat ass kid named "Gered" says " Hey I bet you suck dick to hahaha" he said that towards me so once again I shrug it off. AND I SWEAR THIS TRICK WORKS ALMOST ALL THE TIME. I was like hey gered lets get a pop. So I Put my arm on the back of his shoulder, you know how chicks and friend do, and said "dude you know your a good friend" and he replies "thanks" and so I still have my arm on this shoulder and while were walking I quickly do a *180 degree turn and Punch the living shit out of him. he falls and i quickly follow it up with a kick to the jaw. This is where officer Clifferd saw and took me to the office.

#4 Junior year of high school. Ok I never do sports but it was finally a summer day in Idaho. Ok so I was asked to play Foot Ball outside, end of the year almost and I was like sure. So were out there. Im not really a team player, and Back then i was a pot smoking guru. Well anyway. These 2 ass holes not really big they were my size 5'10 same weight were talking shit. 16 guys playing foot ball. well they presisted to keep talking shit. I was playing Reciver durning the whole foot ball thing. Well anyway I ask the guy who was playing QB to let me do it once. So anyway, I Set the line of schrimage to the far right near the Out of Bounce where the shit talkers were. So anyway I hike it and I Fucking whized this bitch "aka the ball" straight at the guys. It fucking Peged his left eye so now they come over charging. Quickly my 2 fat/Musculer friend's let the guys pass them while comming after me And here I am going "OH MOTHER FUCKING SHIT". But anyway my 2 friends had a reason for letting them pass. They only got maybe 2 foot after letting them pass before my friends triped both of them. The shit talkers knew they were out numbered and left.

[Iannis]

Originally posted by Eager Val'Sharess
I guess he thought I was loony tunes or something lol.

Hit a woman! My southern roots rebel against such a dishonourable action.

I CHALLENGE ANY SIRRAH WHO DOES SUCH TO A DUEL.

we'll rise again

Originally posted by Jimmy Carter wuwu
I and while he is walking off I quietly walk behind him and i swear I Hit this kid 8 times in the back of the head and he blacked out and just slowly walked away.

lololol. Man, the SWEETEST fights are where you see someone just beat the SHIT out of a dude when he turns around.

[Blackwinds]

quit picking on the fat kids you queer!