The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

[Tenks]

Originally Posted by arkk123

Because you try to arrange shit with girls you have never even kissed to a degree that is like you are trying to find the perfect situation to rape and murder them. It is creepy. I've never in my entire life gone to such great lengths to hang out with a female as you do. Texting, calling, texting, calling. For what?

Everyone said from the beginning that it would go no where and end badly, just like the last girl whom had a phone I guess you think you didn't blow up.

If a girl wants to hang out with you she will make time. She isn't interested. Right now this situation for her is at "Well if I really have nothing else to do I guess I'll hang out with him". Girls do that with dudes all the time for self-esteem issues and quite simply boredom. When girls are interested they'll blow off class, stay out late, etc.

This is dead in the water.

It pains my badly but Ark is right. This is why girls make such terrible friends. They are always changing plans and blowing people off to get what they want. If she was truly interested she'd make time.

Also, is Pickle like 8 feet tall or is this chick a legal midget?

[Picasso]

you guys dont know shit, sometimes a girl wants harassed

[Eomer]

Originally Posted by Tenks

It pains my badly but Ark is right. This is why girls make such terrible friends. They are always changing plans and blowing people off to get what they want. If she was truly interested she'd make time.

Also, is Pickle like 8 feet tall or is this chick a legal midget?

He's 6'8" or something. No idea why I remember that.

[Dianetics08]

Originally Posted by Tenks

Everyone in this thread seems to take facebook as the pinnacle of serious business. I don't think I've ever de-tagged/de-friended an ex girlfriend. On ocassion they'll do it to me but I mean ... it's fucking facebook.

I did it because my ex absolutely abuses facebook, she'd have upwards of 10 status updates a day and takes way too many pictures of herself. I'd just rather not be bombarded by every little thing that is going on in her life, it just makes it easier to not think about her.

As to not letting her suck me back in, that will definitely be hard, but now that I have flat out told her that nothing is going to happen between us I feel a lot better. Must be that whole closure thing.

[Eomer]

Originally Posted by Dianetics08

I did it because my ex absolutely abuses facebook, she'd have upwards of 10 status updates a day and takes way too many pictures of herself. I'd just rather not be bombarded by every little thing that is going on in her life, it just makes it easier to not think about her.

That's why I remove exes. Not because it's serious business, but because I'd rather not see what's going on in their lives, or have the ability/temptation to.

[Mcpickle Deluxe]

Originally Posted by Eomer

That's why I remove exes. Not because it's serious business, but because I'd rather not see what's going on in their lives, or have the ability/temptation to.

Yeah, just makes it easier at first.

She's 5'6 or so, I'm 6 foot 9 lol

[lost]

Originally Posted by Dianetics08

I did it because my ex absolutely abuses facebook, she'd have upwards of 10 status updates a day and takes way too many pictures of herself. I'd just rather not be bombarded by every little thing that is going on in her life, it just makes it easier to not think about her.

As to not letting her suck me back in, that will definitely be hard, but now that I have flat out told her that nothing is going to happen between us I feel a lot better. Must be that whole closure thing.

+1, my ex would check facebook whenever shes not doing something, literally every 5 minutes, I wouldnt want to log into facebook and see pictures or status updates etc.. so yeah remove her ass. Out of sight out of mind.

[McCheese]

I'm contemplating a situation that could (hilariously, for you guys at least) explode in my face. Spoilered for length, I wrote way more than I expected.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

I'm currently living abroad and teaching English. This past week I started teaching a new class and after the first lesson, as everyone is gathering their things to leave, one of the students came up and began chatting with me. She's an incredibly hot, 24 year old Russian girl (For reference, I'm 25). Obviously I chatted back, but I didn't think anything of it cause it's common for students to talk to me as the class ends.

Next lesson, same thing, but this time we talk longer and she offers me her cellphone number when the topic of me being new to the city and not knowing many people comes up. I say goodbye and go gather my stuff from the teacher's room while she leaves. However, when I got downstairs to the main lobby I see this girl standing just inside the front door on her cell phone. I walk past her and go through the door and say "good night", but she immediately follows me through and asks if I want to go to a nearby cafe. I accept and we head to the cafe and sit, drink tea, and talk for about an hour and a half.

During our conversation the topic of films came up, so after we leave the cafe we walked by a theater to see what films are playing. It was kind of late at this point (as I teach night classes) so we decided to call it a night. I offered to walk her home, since we're in the middle of a fairly large city, and she accepted. So I walked with her back to her apartment building's entrance and said goodnight. I said, "See you on Friday (the date of the next English lesson)" and she says, "Yeah, see you on Friday, but you can call me tomorrow."

So today, after work, I gave her a call and chatted for a couple minutes and decided spontaneously, what the hell, and asked if she had any plans on Sunday. She said no, so I told her we should go to Mega (this sort of super-mall where they have a multiplex theater and stores/restaurants) and see a movie. She said sure, and we left the conversation at that cause she was out with her friends and I didn't want to keep her occupied, plus I was walking on the freezing cold street and my fingers felt like they were about to fall off.

Flash forward an hour: I'm at home making dinner and low-and-behold, I get a text from her out of the blue. "Hi ". I respond back "Good evening. " Yes, with the smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces. A couple more texts are exchanged over like 30-45 minutes.

Thinking I've learned something from this thread, I stopped responding to the texts. After all, I'm going to see her tomorrow at the next class, no need to indulge her further tonight. But after 3 ignored texts she finally sends one that contains her home phone number and "U can call ". So I finally caved and called her up, and we ended up chatting for 2 hours.

Obviously her being my student makes this all sorts of icky and risky, plus introduces a ton of variables that wouldn't normally exist. I figure these are the possibilities:

1) She's trying to get a good grade out of me. - Possible, but I think this is unlikely. It's a bullshit "language mill" school and the only thing that counts towards your grade is the final exam at the end of the course. You basically buy your certificate.

2) She's just a really friendly, outgoing person who is trying to make my introduction to this new place a little easier. - Very possible. She is VERY friendly and outgoing, and during our lessons she's one of those students who volunteers answers and opinions at every opportunity.

3) She's just doing all this as an excuse to practice her English more in a 1-to-1 setting. - Again, Very possible. She's expressed a real desire to improve her English so that she can travel abroad to get her masters degree.

4) She's trolling for a greencard. - Always possible with Russians, but I think it's unlikely. She seems far too well educated and has too much family here.

5) She's actually really into me. - Possible, I'm "not ugly and not stupid" (her words. She's very sarcastic and said it in a joking way obviously).

Honestly I'm thinking it's either 5, or a combination of 2 and 3.

I'm planning on trying to steer it away from the friend zone and towards relationship. However, if that fails, depending on how surprised/naive/upset she is if, for example, I go in for a kiss and get rejected, she could cause huge work problems for me. I figure I really need to judge her intentions accurately so I don't misread and torpedo myself.

If I do manage to make a relationship out of it, there will be the ever-present risk of my coworkers/boss/other students finding out and turning my cruise into a failboat.

*edit* I should mention that my school is sponsoring my visa and paying for my apartment. So I'll become a homeless, illegal alien should I lose my job.

[Tenks]

Why not just ask her if she's interested in a relationship instead of trying to make out with her? Is it really that fucking hard? You're willing to put your home AND status on the line for some pussy? Dude ... ballsy.

[Tarrant220]

If you can lose your job over seeing her then stop fucking seeing her before you get attached to her.

[arkk123]

She called you "not ugly" and you took this as a compliment? That is like "Do you think I have a nice body?", "Well you aren't fat". Yes I get that she said it sarcastically, but it is such a blanket statement and it begs for someone(you) to read into.

The whole situation is completely inappropriate and I can't imagine how any man with the ability to get laid would do this. It's your job dude, don't be an asshole.

It's completely possible that she is into you. It is still your job.

[Dis]

Originally Posted by Eomer

Umm, it's pretty obvious from my past couple quotes that I CAN see it, hence why I'm giving her one more call. I mean fuck, we've each called each other two or three times with only a couple of those connecting and we've exchanged maybe a dozen texts between us. How is that blowing up her phone (which she didn't even have for the first week)?

I'm bored at work so here goes.

When I hit 26ish I had the set goal of getting married. I was tired of fucking around with women that were either psycho, losers, or flighty.

I made a resolution to myself that I would no longer try so damn hard to make something work, because it either made me come off desperate or I would get myself involved with strange women (see psychotic).

Basically my gameplan was to give a chick one chance, I would be social, chat it up, try to initiate signs to her that I was interested. For instance, asking her out, giving her my number, etc. Anything basically social, verbal, physical interest.

The minute a woman would not return my calls or come off disinterested (like just coming out and saying "Oh I just want to have fun" which translates into "I want to fuck a lot of guys besides just you"). I would drop that shit like a bad habit and move on. Once I came to that conclusion, my standards actually rose, I met a woman who held a good paying (at the time more than I was making as well) job for longer than 6 months. Which suprisingly you meet a lot of women working shit jobs or are inbetween jobs. I basically played it cool until I felt secure enough in the fact that I was the one "with hand" (sienfeld term). At that point in allowed me to not get jealous (I think maybe once in our 9 year relationship I got jealous, whereas I used to be a bit of tool with jealousy issues in past relationships), and it actually put me in a good place to evaluate that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman, because I knew she felt the same way about me.

Anyways, I am not saying you should go get married or some shit. Just dont give a shit, give her a social yes, show her youre interested. If she comes off cool to you, fuck her (literally and figuratively) and move on. Eomer, you are the last person that should come off stalkerish, but I dont know you IRL, so maybe I am wrong.

[Dabamf]

Originally Posted by McCheese

.

Number one, find out if other teachers have dated students, and what the school's policy is. Find out without revealing anything about yourself, if possible, but if it's not possible, find out anyway. I'm teaching abroad too and know how important your job is to your life there. Under normal circumstances, I'd strongly advise against dating someone who could risk your job. Under THESE circumstances, where your employer is in charge of your visa and your home, if dating this chick can in any way get you fired, don't fucking see her again outside of work. If you're on a work visa you get fucking DEPORTED if you lose your job.

As for the evaluation, she is blowing up your phone and trying to move really quickly. It's #5. If you wouldn't marry a girl within a few months, she can't be searching for a green card because chicks like that can smell possible targets, and if you aren't one, she won't waste her time. She can't just be interested in practicing English because she is simply showing too much interest in you for that to make sense. It would only make sense if she was an ultra manipulative bitch and knew the best way to get free lessons is to pretend like she really liked a guy. Not likely.

But, again, your job is on the line. And she is showing such strong signs of interest off the bat that if you guys break up down the line, there could be a lot of backlash. Don't do it. Or tell her that you are interested in her but can't see her outside of work as long as she is a student there.

In most cases like this, where unarguable reason is in a battle against huge desire, desire almost always wins. Don't be another guy who puts his entire life in the hands of some random chick he just met.

Eomer vs Tarrant is a perfect example of why seeing multiple girls is absolutely essential. Tarrant apparently has his pick of, what, 4 chicks, a couple of which are serious candidates. As a result, they all seem to want him, and he isn't overly concerned about the outcome of any given one. If things don't progress perfectly, he drops one without concern. In Eomer's situation, there is only 1, and we can see how that is playing out. I'm not comparing people, I'm comparing situations. We give Eomer a lot of shit but remember Tarrant's history isn't all that great until this recent situation. His outcome is certainly to a large degree (though not all) a result of the situation he is in of having mutlipe prospects. I've been in both positions, one bad prospect and also many good prospects, and the attitude is just night and day. In the future when/if I start dating again, I will be no doubt thinking about these two cases and reminding myself just how important it is to have multiple prospects.

[Ortega]

1. OMG Dis you sound just like me and I haven't felt better (haven't found the one yet though!) Just feels better respecting myself and not giving a bitch a second chance after she blows me off for whatever reason.

2. Everyone I've ever met who dated someone at work (myself included) has regretted it. You're playing with fire man!!

[Tarrant220]

Yep, my history sucked pretty hard as far as putting my eggs in one basket and imploding when that basket was crushed. I've done both, multiple...as long as all are on the same page...is the way to go and it helps with confidence to a level that I can't really explain.

And currently there are three...but I seriously think after Sunday, assuming things go as well as they have been that I'm going to be down to 1.

I'm kinda interested to see how I handle and progress with things when and if it happens...should be an interesting situation given this would be the first real relationship since recent ex and the new attitude/outlook.