The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

[Lenaldo]

Originally Posted by Dianetics08

Ok, so I will admit I don't like him for the obvious reason that he is the ex, but I still think objectively that she was out of his league. She doesn't hate on him really, they are still friends, she just says that he was too controlling as a boyfriend. The only times she has complained about him was when she explained why they broke up and then if he acts like a dick towards her (which I suppose could be her spinning what really happened, but I'm fairly confident it isn't). Here is the story I was told as to why they broke up: spring semester ended so they mainly talked to each other through IM's. If she didn't respond immediately to one of his IM's, he would say stuff like "Why are you talking with somebody else? Am I not good enough?" and then one time when she was talking with one of her guy friends, he said "So are you gonna go and fuck him now?". That's when she decided to end things. I'm willing to believe he was too controlling, especially since her roomie/best friend gave me a talking to about not controlling my gf and monopolizing her time like the ex did.

I don't irrationally hate all her ex's, I've actually talked with the other ex and thought he was pretty cool. It's not like I feel threatened by either of the ex's or anything like that. And if I'm drunk, I hope to be doing something better with my time than crying on the internet.

Sounds like her ex was ready for a more mature relationship and shes just interested in a fuck buddy. I always hated the friends of a girl trying to tell you not to monopolize her time; as if someone can control another person. They never realize its their friend that is choosing to spend time with their boyfriend instead of their girlfriends.

And if shes the one telling her friends "OMG HE WONT LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOU" then shes a fucking bitch. To me she sounds like she needs a few years of growing up before shes ready for a "real" relationship. Nothing is wrong with this, shes in college, this is the time for her to fuck up relationships - its a learning experience.

Honestly bro, you are head over heals for her. Just the line "but I still think objectively that she was out of his league" is proof enough. News flash, she was fucking the shit outa his dick for awhile so apparently she didnt think she was outa his league.. especially when she was gargling on his cum while it oozed off her chin onto her breasts.

Why do i say that? Because you are putting her on some fucking pedestal that she doesn't need to be on. You are going to build her up to be this perfect girl in your mind and then when she decides she's is bored of you it is going to rip your heart out and youw ill be back on here asking us "HOW DO I WIN HER BACK".

Not that it matters what i say.... everyone always does the same thing with their first relationship. I can't stress enough that this situation is not unique; you did not find your soul mate; you are not perfect together. No two people are perfect for each other, its all about finding someone you enjoy being around and then making it work. Of course, it will only work if BOTH people are interested in a long-term relationship... and a girl that has friends bitching about her time being monopolized is NOT ready. If her friends are that immature she probably is too.

Enjoy the ride, i'm not saying it will definitely come to a horrible end, but it probably will. I personally think you would be better off preparing yourself for the end instead of living in some fantasy world where you think you just met the most amazing girl ever. Not only will it allow you to get over her when the time comes, but it will probably prolong the relationship since she won't feel as if she conquered you.

But what do i know, i cant possibly fathom the feelings you guys have for each other. How she looks at you, or makes you feel. Its a match made in heaven, right? Straight out of a disney movie. Keep rationalizing with yourself. You seem like a nice guy, try not to get burned or you wil be as jaded as the rest of us!

[arkk123]

Originally Posted by Lenaldo

Sounds like her ex was ready for a more mature relationship and shes just interested in a fuck buddy. I always hated the friends of a girl trying to tell you not to monopolize her time; as if someone can control another person. They never realize its their friend that is choosing to spend time with their boyfriend instead of their girlfriends.

And if shes the one telling her friends "OMG HE WONT LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOU" then shes a fucking bitch. To me she sounds like she needs a few years of growing up before shes ready for a "real" relationship. Nothing is wrong with this, shes in college, this is the time for her to fuck up relationships - its a learning experience.

Honestly bro, you are head over heals for her. Just the line "but I still think objectively that she was out of his league" is proof enough. News flash, she was fucking the shit outa his dick for awhile so apparently she didnt think she was outa his league.. especially when she was gargling on his cum while it oozed off her chin onto her breasts.

Why do i say that? Because you are putting her on some fucking pedestal that she doesn't need to be on. You are going to build her up to be this perfect girl in your mind and then when she decides she's is bored of you it is going to rip your heart out and youw ill be back on here asking us "HOW DO I WIN HER BACK".

Not that it matters what i say.... everyone always does the same thing with their first relationship. I can't stress enough that this situation is not unique; you did not find your soul mate; you are not perfect together. No two people are perfect for each other, its all about finding someone you enjoy being around and then making it work. Of course, it will only work if BOTH people are interested in a long-term relationship... and a girl that has friends bitching about her time being monopolized is NOT ready. If her friends are that immature she probably is too.

Enjoy the ride, i'm not saying it will definitely come to a horrible end, but it probably will. I personally think you would be better off preparing yourself for the end instead of living in some fantasy world where you think you just met the most amazing girl ever. Not only will it allow you to get over her when the time comes, but it will probably prolong the relationship since she won't feel as if she conquered you.

But what do i know, i cant possibly fathom the feelings you guys have for each other. How she looks at you, or makes you feel. Its a match made in heaven, right? Straight out of a disney movie. Keep rationalizing with yourself. You seem like a nice guy, try not to get burned or you wil be as jaded as the rest of us!

qft

[Brad2770]

Originally Posted by Lenaldo

Why do i say that? Because you are putting her on some fucking pedestal that she doesn't need to be on. You are going to build her up to be this perfect girl in your mind and then when she decides she's is bored of you it is going to rip your heart out and youw ill be back on here asking us "HOW DO I WIN HER BACK".

If youre not careful, Dianetics, youre going to turn out like me. I am proof this happens. You do not want to be like me.

[Ortega]

Originally Posted by Dianetics08

Ok, so I will admit I don't like him for the obvious reason that he is the ex, but I still think objectively that she was out of his league. She doesn't hate on him really, they are still friends, she just says that he was too controlling as a boyfriend. The only times she has complained about him was when she explained why they broke up and then if he acts like a dick towards her (which I suppose could be her spinning what really happened, but I'm fairly confident it isn't). Here is the story I was told as to why they broke up: spring semester ended so they mainly talked to each other through IM's. If she didn't respond immediately to one of his IM's, he would say stuff like "Why are you talking with somebody else? Am I not good enough?" and then one time when she was talking with one of her guy friends, he said "So are you gonna go and fuck him now?". That's when she decided to end things. I'm willing to believe he was too controlling, especially since her roomie/best friend gave me a talking to about not controlling my gf and monopolizing her time like the ex did.

I don't irrationally hate all her ex's, I've actually talked with the other ex and thought he was pretty cool. It's not like I feel threatened by either of the ex's or anything like that. And if I'm drunk, I hope to be doing something better with my time than crying on the internet.

Hehe, this is what I love about us homo sapiens! We always think were the smartest one on the block. I know we're giving you a lot of shit dude, but do you really think after chatting on messenger the guy was just all the sudden like "YO BITCH WTF YOU FUCKING HIM NOW HO!!!???" Probably not........ I'd say it's more likely he began to see signs and the more he questioned things the more "controlling" she declared him. It really is a tough spot to be in, you know something is awry, but you're afraid to question anything because the bitch doesn't care and every time you do it creates more problems. Obviously a veteran in the relationship world would know to pack up and leave, but from the sounds of it her EX really really liked her and didn't want to let go.

The fact of the matter is in a decent relationship where you even half way give a fuck about each other if something bothers the other person you should be able to bring it up without being labeled "controlling" or being shrugged off and you should be able to at least find a middle place somewhere in there. Sure there will be times of sacrifice in a long relationship, but if you're in the first year and you say "hey that really bothers me." and they pretty much tell you to fuck off, you need to ask yourself it that is something you're cool with for the rest of the relationship and if not walk away.

[chu]

You guys are being too tough on Dianetics; there's nothing wrong with telling her that you love her...if that's really how you feel.

Just don't go buying her expensive shit, moving in together, buying a puppy together and barebacking her while she's not on the pill. Given that it's your first serious relationship there's a high chance it's just going to end up as your stepping stone experience.

[lost]

Originally Posted by Ortega

I love reading posts like this. Let's be honest man, you hate the previous guy for no other reason then that he's been with her. Other then that you are following hear say from a Vagina which bias's the greatest of minds. When you say you believe she has an "emotional thing" you mean she does wierd crazy shit that you can't rationalize no matter how you think about it I'm sure.

Sorry to burst your bubble but she sounds like an attention whore. I have a feeling you'll be the overly emotional controlling guy in a few months when she's off chatting to some other intriguing fellow because she's bored of you. Hopefully I'm wrong, but if that does happen cut ties and don't be like the other guy!!

+1, I've read all the shit my ex has said about me, its funny how badly she's turned things around to make her out to be the angel, gotta keep that shit in mind when you hear people's sides of stories, theres always another side and that person isnt always as bad as they're told to be, if they are then im sure it warranted something that the storyteller did..

It really pisses me off to no end hearing shit my ex says about me but not saying what she did to get that shit done to her. Theres this one instance towards the end where people thought we were broken up but we still hung out everyday, yet she decided to not tell people so whenever i'd be calling she'd make it out like i cant get over her and im desperate, or when shit hit the fan no one knew we hung out so people would be like look dood u need to leave her be.. yet little do they know i just fucked her the night before! women, screw their side of the stories ;p

I cant say I havent turned stories around either but i try my best to include all the details, shes the fuckup not me. I don't need to hide shit to look better.

[Sutekh]

Originally Posted by lost

+1, I've read all the shit my ex has said about me, its funny how badly she's turned things around to make her out to be the angel, gotta keep that shit in mind when you hear people's sides of stories, theres always another side and that person isnt always as bad as they're told to be, if they are then im sure it warranted something that the storyteller did..

It really pisses me off to no end hearing shit my ex says about me but not saying what she did to get that shit done to her. Theres this one instance towards the end where people thought we were broken up but we still hung out everyday, yet she decided to not tell people so whenever i'd be calling she'd make it out like i cant get over her and im desperate, or when shit hit the fan no one knew we hung out so people would be like look dood u need to leave her be.. yet little do they know i just fucked her the night before! women, screw their side of the stories ;p

I cant say I havent turned stories around either but i try my best to include all the details, shes the fuckup not me. I don't need to hide shit to look better.

You need to just let go bro.

[lost]

Originally Posted by Dianetics08

Ok, so I will admit I don't like him for the obvious reason that he is the ex, but I still think objectively that she was out of his league. She doesn't hate on him really, they are still friends, she just says that he was too controlling as a boyfriend. The only times she has complained about him was when she explained why they broke up and then if he acts like a dick towards her (which I suppose could be her spinning what really happened, but I'm fairly confident it isn't). Here is the story I was told as to why they broke up: spring semester ended so they mainly talked to each other through IM's. If she didn't respond immediately to one of his IM's, he would say stuff like "Why are you talking with somebody else? Am I not good enough?" and then one time when she was talking with one of her guy friends, he said "So are you gonna go and fuck him now?". That's when she decided to end things. I'm willing to believe he was too controlling, especially since her roomie/best friend gave me a talking to about not controlling my gf and monopolizing her time like the ex did.

I don't irrationally hate all her ex's, I've actually talked with the other ex and thought he was pretty cool. It's not like I feel threatened by either of the ex's or anything like that. And if I'm drunk, I hope to be doing something better with my time than crying on the internet.

I used to do this shit but with text's. In the beginning of my relationship my girlfriend would text the hell out of me, year later she would slowly begin taking longer and longer to reply.

I have a feeling the boyfriend had the same thing, I mean theres the slight chance hes insecure on his own but I bet his girlfriend created the insecurity in him, perhaps she used to reply so fast in the beginning, or she cheated on him, or he caught her doing something that made him insecure/not trust her.

I've been there, and after the text replies got longer, I did my own investigate work and catching her out with other guys during the "long ass reply period" it suddenly just became one big mess. Yeah her ass didnt think I would go out of my way to catch her but yeah, you take two hours to reply to a text saying what are you doing or i miss you, then I see you roll up to your apartment with two guys one who likes you, fuck yeah I felt validated. Gotta do what you gotta do to make sure you sleep at night.

[lost]

Originally Posted by Sutekh

You need to just let go bro.

Oh yeah, it's being let go, day after day it gets better. I was just providing that guy (like many other men did on the previous page) my opinion and just to get him to think about hey look dont always believe the stories right you hear, get your own opinion not theirs.

[Sutekh]

I've never really understood the studying of women, honestly just do what you want, when you want, how you want, because that's called, being yourself if you're not in it just to get your dick wet that's the best course of action.

[Ortega]

Oh yea I totally agree. It's really not even the study of women so much, but the study of yourself. Ask yourself why you mince words or why you drive by their apartment when you know they're lieing instead of just saying fuck you and dropping them like they deserve. That's when you start to find the answers. I have my own idea or what those answers are, but it's something everyone needs to learn on their own. Quick tip to everyone though, when it gets to that point and your gut is telling you shit is up. Whether or not it truly is, you need to walk away. Man the fuck up, swallow your pride, take the hurt, and move on. Things only get worse from then on. You should be in a relationship because it's good, and I'm talking about a real relationship, not a fuck buddy. Don't stick with someone because you're afraid of being lonely again, you'll soon find that those feelings are easily replaced as soon as another hot piece starts giving you attention assuming she's not a total dip shit

[Dabamf]

The entire last 2-3 pages are filled with nothing but baseless negative assumptions.

Yea, there are things that Dianetics should be cautious about, but you guys take less than 8 paragraphs of information and make extreme, baseless assumptions about this girl. Yea, you should take a girl's evaluation of her ex's with a grain of salt. Good advice. But that advice turned into "DUDE SHE'S JUST A LYING ATTENTION WHORE, THE EX WAS AN AWESOME GUY AND SHE JUST FUCKED HIM OVER! Give me a break.

Dianetics, I suggest ignoring every single negative post here. It a bunch of bitter guys naysaying everything. BUT, there are some good cautions raised:
-The feelings you have so early are likely (but not certainly) just a result of the excitement of something new. I didn't see, have you slept together yet? If not, you can't trust those feelings at all. Just be cautious in how you interpret the feelings until you start seeing more of her real side, more of her flaws showing up, etc.

-Take evaluation of ex's with a grain of salt. They could be completely true and she is a perfect catch. They could also be completely fabricated and she is an attention whore and emotional trainwreck. I'm sure if you look at her through an objective lens, you can probably tell where she falls on the spectrum.

-The L word DOES matter. It's a step. Just like asking someone out, talking about exclusivity, and getting married are steps. It shows you are fully committed to the relationship and are willing to work through major speedbumps rather than bail. But don't make such a big case out of it. It is better to wait and be cautious then jumping in with the L word trying to define the relationship too early.

All that being said, congrats on finding a chick you seem to really like, and enjoy it. Just because guys can get duped and fucked over doesn't mean it will necessarily happen.

[Dianetics08]

Originally Posted by Dabamf

The entire last 2-3 pages are filled with nothing but baseless negative assumptions.

Yea, there are things that Dianetics should be cautious about, but you guys take less than 8 paragraphs of information and make extreme, baseless assumptions about this girl. Yea, you should take a girl's evaluation of her ex's with a grain of salt. Good advice. But that advice turned into "DUDE SHE'S JUST A LYING ATTENTION WHORE, THE EX WAS AN AWESOME GUY AND SHE JUST FUCKED HIM OVER! Give me a break.

Dianetics, I suggest ignoring every single negative post here. It a bunch of bitter guys naysaying everything. BUT, there are some good cautions raised:
-The feelings you have so early are likely (but not certainly) just a result of the excitement of something new. I didn't see, have you slept together yet? If not, you can't trust those feelings at all. Just be cautious in how you interpret the feelings until you start seeing more of her real side, more of her flaws showing up, etc.

-Take evaluation of ex's with a grain of salt. They could be completely true and she is a perfect catch. They could also be completely fabricated and she is an attention whore and emotional trainwreck. I'm sure if you look at her through an objective lens, you can probably tell where she falls on the spectrum.

-The L word DOES matter. It's a step. Just like asking someone out, talking about exclusivity, and getting married are steps. It shows you are fully committed to the relationship and are willing to work through major speedbumps rather than bail. But don't make such a big case out of it. It is better to wait and be cautious then jumping in with the L word trying to define the relationship too early.

All that being said, congrats on finding a chick you seem to really like, and enjoy it. Just because guys can get duped and fucked over doesn't mean it will necessarily happen.

Thank you for that, makes a lot of sense and isn't so depressing. We have slept together (she was my first, I wasn't hers) so I can honestly say it's not about the sex. I've got nothing else to say really, my original question was my only real question, everything else is going pretty damn well. I'm definitely enjoying myself.

[Ortega]

Apologies for my jaded intrusion then, however in response to your question I would not tell her you love her. You have absolutely nothing to gain other then the euphoria of saying it, and if she is the type to get bored she will be gone all the sooner. Wait for her to say it first, it will mean all the more to you that way anyways.

[[LVC]DeGrassi]

Originally Posted by Dabamf

The entire last 2-3 pages are filled with nothing but baseless negative assumptions.

Yea, there are things that Dianetics should be cautious about, but you guys take less than 8 paragraphs of information and make extreme, baseless assumptions about this girl. Yea, you should take a girl's evaluation of her ex's with a grain of salt. Good advice. But that advice turned into "DUDE SHE'S JUST A LYING ATTENTION WHORE, THE EX WAS AN AWESOME GUY AND SHE JUST FUCKED HIM OVER! Give me a break.

Dianetics, I suggest ignoring every single negative post here. It a bunch of bitter guys naysaying everything. BUT, there are some good cautions raised:
-The feelings you have so early are likely (but not certainly) just a result of the excitement of something new. I didn't see, have you slept together yet? If not, you can't trust those feelings at all. Just be cautious in how you interpret the feelings until you start seeing more of her real side, more of her flaws showing up, etc.

-Take evaluation of ex's with a grain of salt. They could be completely true and she is a perfect catch. They could also be completely fabricated and she is an attention whore and emotional trainwreck. I'm sure if you look at her through an objective lens, you can probably tell where she falls on the spectrum.

-The L word DOES matter. It's a step. Just like asking someone out, talking about exclusivity, and getting married are steps. It shows you are fully committed to the relationship and are willing to work through major speedbumps rather than bail. But don't make such a big case out of it. It is better to wait and be cautious then jumping in with the L word trying to define the relationship too early.

All that being said, congrats on finding a chick you seem to really like, and enjoy it. Just because guys can get duped and fucked over doesn't mean it will necessarily happen.

Oh take this, everyone elses opinion but mine is shit crap and go fuck yourself. This whole thread isnt just about holding hands being happy, they called the bitch out and thats that. What the fuck do you know ? Shit you been invited over to her crib yet or what ?