The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

[Tarrant220]

I'm not using jealousy to get her back, I used it to gauge a few things, hence why I let is go as quickly as it came. If we do get back together and it crashes and burns again then I'll know that things just weren't meant to be but I'll at least know this time, it wasn't from anything I personally did if that makes any sense.

Heidi is cool, but I just don't feel a lot of things when with her, she's the friend I wouldn't mind banging but as far as a relationship goes....meh, just don't think I could be around her that much and feel the things I was supposed to feel.

The changes are actual changes, there's no "acting" involved when she's around, honestly, if anything, I feel more myself when she is, I don't have to try to read signals, signs....so on and so forth, I save all that for when she's not around. When she is around, I want to be natural just for those reasons you listed above Tenks, I want to be at ease so that things do feel natural and when she's around me, it's me she's around and not something else.

I like the way I've changed things in my life and I'm not going to take the steps backwards that it would require to be anything else other then what I am now.

And I agree jealousy isn't a good means to get anyone back, hence why I played it off as quickly as possible. It allowed me to see a different perspective that I wanted to see and that was that, I didn't plan and still don't on talking about anymore of it with her from here on out.

[Etoille]

Originally Posted by Brad2770

So, I fucked my ex-wife tonight.

Since I have seen her she has:

Got new boobs (they look amazing.)
Got a new tattoo.

She told me the story behind it- Her and 3 of her friends got the same one. Some stupid chinese writing that means Eternal Friends and some kind of Chinese flower. She asked if I liked it and I told her it looked dumb. She got mad and wouldnt let me see it anymore. I didnt care. Tired of telling her a lie to spare her feelings.

I tried to get pics of her tits, but she wouldnt let me. Maybe I will get to deliver... who knows.

She is so pretty and I actually had a nice evening with her, but I really think she is seeing a guy now, so I kind of felt awkward. I wanted a quick lay and she was the easiest and I was actually pretty interested to see her new tits.

I have some stresses going on at work right now. The angry sex actually helped calm me down. Do I miss her? yeah, I do. Do I want things to work out? Eventually. But right now, I am not sure what she is going through. She is slowly changing her wardrobe from conservative (when she had small tits) to flashy, to bring attention to the new knockers. It is nice, but honestly, I am too old to try and compte with the guys she may have attempting to gain her attention.

One of the reasons I gave in is because she wants more time to go party.... I have had visitation with my son, for the past 2 years, on Monday through Thurs of every week. Now she is switching it to Every other weekend per the divorce decree. I didnt fight the situation because if I do, she might try and fight me for Child support (basically, I would pay for her new boobs).

I am angry about the changes she is making. She is supposed to be a mom and even though she is still good for my son, that is it. I was the easiest one to shit on so she could have her single life and it isnt fair. I am the one suffering from all of this and I am so angry now that I have been reduced to an Every other weekend dad.... unless I come over to hang out or fuck her (which I honestly dont mind the sex, but I want to be a family... not an orgasm for her).

Its almost been a year since I dumped her for the 19 year old and looking back on it, it was prety fucking dumb. Live and Learn I suppose.

Its almost like someone said to you 'hey dude this is a bad fucking idea' a year ago and you didn't listen.

I know I wasn't the only one who said it either.

Its like you can't help yourself or something. In the spirit of this thread (as Eomer said, helping people out) you need counselling. I'm 100% serious.

The fact that 10 people told you to leave your tenant alone and you were like "no man it will be ok" just boggles my mind considering that you are in this self destructive loop and are cognizant enough to know you're fucking yourself over, but are completely unwilling to break the cycle.

Its like battered woman syndrome.

[Brad2770]

She uses my son as leverage and I dont know how to break the cycle when it comes to him.

If I call her bluff, then I see him less and I am one more step away of her getting child support payments out of me. I support my child now. I refuse to support HER through the guise of child support......


I work hard for what I make. Sad thing is, she makes more than me. But a lot of her cash goes towards paying for our old house and the 350 dollar light bills. I dont have those expenses and I think it gets to her (I dont pay anything. My job pays for my apartment, utilities, internet). She has even asked me in the pass to help her with utilities since my son lives there. I told her no. I have helped her with her food bills sometimes, but only when she asks.



And I do know fucking her was not a good idea, but I was on a 2 month dry spell and it kind of got to me.

[Etoille]

Originally Posted by Brad2770

She uses my son as leverage and I dont know how to break the cycle when it comes to him.

If I call her bluff, then I see him less and I am one more step away of her getting child support payments out of me. I support my child now. I refuse to support HER through the guise of child support......


I work hard for what I make. Sad thing is, she makes more than me. But a lot of her cash goes towards paying for our old house and the 350 dollar light bills. I dont have those expenses and I think it gets to her (I dont pay anything. My job pays for my apartment, utilities, internet). She has even asked me in the pass to help her with utilities since my son lives there. I told her no. I have helped her with her food bills sometimes, but only when she asks.



And I do know fucking her was not a good idea, but I was on a 2 month dry spell and it kind of got to me.

I repeat (though I know like everything else I said or anyone else said for that matter that it will be ignored) you need to see a counsellor.

You refuse to support her but you want to get back with her. At first it was your fault the divorce happened then it was hers and she's some raging bitch. You still love her and are hopeful things will work out but you are 'hoping to deliver' on pics of her new tits to post for a bunch of people you dont know on the internet?

I know people are into the whole "farming nets" these days but I don't give a shit who you are or who your wife is. No man that respects his wife thinks about that shit. She's the mother of your child. What the FUCK are you doing thinking about posting that shit here? If you had an ounce of respect for her or yourself you wouldn't even THINK of doing that.

Seriously, please go get counselling. Pretty please. Like I said a year ago this IS impacting your child. You can't help her behavior but you can help yours. If you've listened to NOTHING else I've said ponder this:

Do I want my son to lead the exact same life I have when it comes to relationships?

If your answer is no, go get counselling. If the answer is yes, stop pitying yourself (stop whining about it here). YOU did this to you. YOU are doing this to you.

[brekk]

Originally Posted by Brad2770

She uses my son as leverage and I dont know how to break the cycle when it comes to him.

If I call her bluff, then I see him less and I am one more step away of her getting child support payments out of me. I support my child now. I refuse to support HER through the guise of child support......


I work hard for what I make. Sad thing is, she makes more than me. But a lot of her cash goes towards paying for our old house and the 350 dollar light bills. I dont have those expenses and I think it gets to her (I dont pay anything. My job pays for my apartment, utilities, internet). She has even asked me in the pass to help her with utilities since my son lives there. I told her no. I have helped her with her food bills sometimes, but only when she asks.



And I do know fucking her was not a good idea, but I was on a 2 month dry spell and it kind of got to me.

Get a lawyer and an accountant. Go through your finances and prove how much you already provide to her for your son. Then go to court and fight for him.

I realize courts are almost always biased towards the mother (which is fucked up from my personal experience) but don't use that as an excuse to not even try.

[Brad2770]

I agree with what you say.

I still dont think a shrink would help me, but I do agree I have issues.

Bottom line- I try and be the man she begged me to be years ago and it does no good. I dont know what to do or how to handle the situation. My attitude and responses are based off of 2 things-

1) How much I get to see my son.

2) How I feel at "this particular moment".

That is why I am back and forth on shit because ultimately, I have no fucking clue what I want to do.

I do know what I want, but no fucking clue how to get there. And the things I have tried doesnt work.


If it means anything to anyone, I have finally realized I do not need to date and I really have no interest in it. It really does make things harder for me. I do not want that headache or financial burden at this moment.

[Brad2770]

Originally Posted by brekk

Get a lawyer and an accountant. Go through your finances and prove how much you already provide to her for your son. Then go to court and fight for him.

I realize courts are almost always biased towards the mother (which is fucked up from my personal experience) but don't use that as an excuse to not even try.

There is no reason to spend 3k (or more) on a lawyer to fight something that hasn't happened yet. As of right now, she says she has no intentions of getting child support, but she also told me 2 years ago that as long as I take care of my son as i should (seeing him and paying half of his expenses) she wouldnt change the visitation. Now that she finally wants her weekends, she is changing it.

I understand she needs her own time too, but that should not effect our mutually agreed visitation days that have been like this for the last 2 years. My life and my days off have been adjusted to that. I would have to change other aspects of my life besides not seeing my son every week.

For now, I am going to let it ride, but it doesnt change the fact that it is a much closer possibility than it was a few months ago. Now especially since she has more bills to pay.

[Etoille]

Originally Posted by Brad2770

I agree with what you say.

I still dont think a shrink would help me, but I do agree I have issues.

Bottom line- I try and be the man she begged me to be years ago and it does no good. I dont know what to do or how to handle the situation. My attitude and responses are based off of 2 things-

1) How much I get to see my son.

2) How I feel at "this particular moment".

That is why I am back and forth on shit because ultimately, I have no fucking clue what I want to do.

I do know what I want, but no fucking clue how to get there. And the things I have tried doesnt work.


If it means anything to anyone, I have finally realized I do not need to date and I really have no interest in it. It really does make things harder for me. I do not want that headache or financial burden at this moment.

Why date? You can just get antsy after 2 months and go fuck your ex. Because thats helpful and stuff. You don't get to go "well baby I've changed 2 years later why don't you want me back" - life doesn't work like that.

Do w/e you want Brad. Just know that its all your fault. She's not the bad guy. You are doing this to yourself. You made shitty choices that made your marriage fail and only half heartedly acknowledge at times that it was your responsibility. You made a shit decision a year ago and still aren't taking responsibility for it today. You'll continue to make shitty decisions and make excuses/blame other people for your lot in life.

Because thats who you are, and thats who your son will be. Because you lack the mental fortitude to realize how fucked up a statement like "I have issues but talking to someone won't help me" or "I want to see my son more but I don't want to do anything about it" is.

Your greatest punishment in life will be watching your son repeat your mistakes because you failed to act. Mark my words. They'll be haunting you for the next 30-40 years.

[Shanter]

Damn son, you just got owned.

[Etoille]

Wasn't trying to own anyone. I can't stand the "pity me" act by people who have the benefit of others trying to pull their heads out of their asses for them.

This thread actually has value in a 'he's just not into you'/dating in 2009/woman hating (and you all say women man hate good LORD is there a lot of woman hate going on in here) sort of way.

I'm tired of it being shitted up by the latest "poor me" Brad saga. I thought the feedback Alcestis gave on someones online profile was perfect and I wouldn't mind throwing an idea out there for people in a "here's how to really knock a girls socks off" kind of way or even help people get over their exes (thread title). But this whole poor Brad shit is old. Get a fucking live journal or go talk to a counselor or shut the fuck up imho.

[Eomer]

^I find it entertaining, although in truth I skim a lot of his posts. But I think it's been obvious for awhile Brad's got some strange shit going on upstairs. The whole "I don't kiss" thing just took it to another level.

[Picasso]

I feel for you brad, sometimes life just gets you down and theres nothing you can do about it.

All a man can do about his love life and his children is post about it on fohss.

Good luck.

[Tarrant220]

Well fuck I hope I don't come off as the "poor me" type, if I do by all means please kick me in the ass about it. :/

[Eomer]

Originally Posted by Tarrant220

Well fuck I hope I don't come off as the "poor me" type, if I do by all means please kick me in the ass about it. :/

heh, the title of the thread kind of indicates that the subject matter will invariably at some point be "poor me" kind of posts!

[GrobbeeTrull2.0]

Etoille channeled some fine Grobbee in that post. I give her +10 innanets.