The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

[Salshun]

Originally Posted by bofa

some pretty solid advice on this last page. quick question..had teach over last night for some homemade bbq chicken pizza action, everything was great, killed two bottles of wine, nice little make out session at the end before she left. we left it at we'll hang out again soon as we're both busy this weekend.

I've initiated both dates bringing her out/having her over, she's definitely interested, so should I just wait to hear back from her via whatever means of communication? I don't want to be "too available" as that seems to be a deal breaker...what do you sages think?

Teacher huh? Please tell me you're like 17 and she's 28 and just smoking hot. Allow us to live vicariously through you.

[Big W Powah!]

Originally Posted by Venjenz

If you don't come out of tomorrow having shagged her rotten, the "relationship" is officially dead, kaput, buried.

Weddings really do make women hot, either with passion or jealousy, but either should be an easy play for you to throw down and wreck that shit. Add in free alcohol at the reception, and this should be as easy as getting laid on Canal Street in Amsterdam...if you are in a "relationship that is going somewhere" that is.

Fucking Truth.

Seriously Eomer, the reason dumping her is a hope is because if you dump her you are standing up for yourself. Taking confidence that you aren't an afterthought and worth more than half-a-fuck.

She's treating you like shit, dump the bitch and move on. If you really want her, the chances are half-decent she'll be begging for your cock if you fuck her best friend.

[Alcestis]

Further on what Big W Powah! said: Dabamf meant "hope" as in breaking up with Anne now could be the kick she needs to realize what a good thing she has, rather than delaying the inevitable outcome further. When someone, anyone, is on the fence about any decision, it takes something happening to get them to ultimately make up their mind. He's proposing that you provide that catalyst and regain some control instead of passively waiting for it to stumble into Anne.

Last ditch effort, I suppose. Do read all of these.

Originally Posted by Eomer

Well when shit went sour, I wasn't sure if we were done or not. She did the usual girly bullshit. Said that things weren't working, but then that she did still like me. I told her to let me know if there was anything I could do. That conversation, in my mind anyway, gave me some hope that maybe things weren't totally done yet.

Originally Posted by Eomer

I've already been clear about wanting to continue seeing her and see where things go, that's not up in the air or shrouded in mystery. To be quite honest I think at this point, we need to back up from the "serious" talk about where things are going and what we want, and just get back to getting to know each other and seeing if we're compatible.

Originally Posted by Eomer

I asked if she wanted to do lunch, she said no maybe "later in the week", I said no worries, and to give me a call that night after she was done with family stuff (her large family comes over every Wednesday for dinner) or alternatively to text me at 3am like last week when our texts got fucked up. She was conspicuously non-commital about calling, and I signed off. She didn't call last night, but then texted me today just before lunch joking that she was going to text me at 3am but fell asleep.

Originally Posted by Eomer

She was genuinely interested in and attracted to me initially, but now I'm just another desperate dude pawing at her and there's probably nothing I can do to fix it.

Originally Posted by Eomer

I dunno, I think you guys are too eager to walk/run away. It's not like sticking around for awhile longer is preventing me from doing anything else or limiting me in any way. No harm in seeing where things go.

These are all (truncated) quotes from your account of the end... with Chuck. If her name hadn't been there, would anyone here be able to tell the difference between this and your current situation?

I know you fell hard for Chuck and had (almost) the same stirrings with Anne, so I didn't dredge all this up to be an ass, really. You're going to do what you're going to do. I'm trying to point out that despite you saying you wanted to learn from your mistakes, to us on the outside, it doesn't appear that way. These accounts are highly suspect on the internet, it's all biased and so on. But truly, there's only so much of, "Well you guys had to be there: it really doesn't sound as bad as it is" one can offer. No amount of sarcasm, good-natured humor, and other jokes can that drastically alter the bones of a story. What I don't get is, if you've already tried the waiting game in the not too distant past with ill effect, why do you think it'll work now? ^^;

Ah well. Let us know how the wedding goes tomorrow.

[Eomer]

Just FYI, I realize the similarities. I'm not that blind! I guess with Anne, things were different at first. Or she was. Or so I thought. As they say, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

[Lusiphur]

I just can't get past (talking about Eomer & Anne), two people in an established relationship having a night out (even if it was to end early) and it not ending up in bed together, ESPECIALLY if circumstances had kept them apart for a while. Even if it's just a quiet fuck and off to sleep early. It really sounds like she just isn't that in to you bud or has changed her mind or wtfever.

It comes back to what I said before and I know you don't agree but this is the root of all your problems. She (Anne), lives with her parents, comments a lot about you paying for shit etc. It sounds like she doesn't feel she is contributing or that you aren't letting her contribute. I know you don't think that's the case but seriously, there is a yawning chasm between you in social terms and its obviously bothering her.

The piece-de-resistance is the whole spiel about you listening to her for an hour and then when you try to change the subject she gets pissy. Seriously, there is a limit to being polite and if your relationship has been reduced to you being polite .. well .. see all the things Venjenz said.

If, at this wedding, you don't hit it like the fist of an angry god then surely you know its done yes ?

[Ortega]

I just wanted to point out that dumping her is ultimately not to get her thinking about you again. It may work and as I said in my last post there is like a 2% chance of that happening. The reason you dump her now is because you know what is coming and you will feel a hell of a lot better when she hooks up with another guy a month after you dump her then when she drops your ass a month later for another guy... The first thing you'll say to yourself is "why the hell did I let her treat me like that, I SAW THIS COMING DAMNIT!" or some such variation... I truly hope you'll stop rationalizing your situation and do what needs to be done. Yes it will suck, but believe me the fall that is coming if you don't act and take some pride in yourself will hurt much more

[niteflyx]

Eomer, you know when you see someone post here about their relationship, and from an outside view, you and everyone else on the board can see what clearly is happening and advice is given appropriately, but the poster is like "no, it's not like that, it's different!" and then they come here a week later about how they just got dumped/cheated on/slurped their semen out of a vagina?

That's you right now. Look at the obvious.

If you don't bang her after the wedding, gtfo.

[Venjenz]

Originally Posted by niteflyx

Eomer, ....

If you don't bang her after the wedding, gtfo.

(emphasis mine)

That makes three people saying the same thing - truth.

I would still like to add that by "bang", we all mean "merciless post-wedding reception, drunken, hate-how-rotten-and-sinful-you-are-in-the-morning, make-Quineloe-proud" type of banging.

If she relents and then lays there like a dead fish, gtfo.

[Ortega]

Heh, even if they get it on it really doesn't mean anything unless her personality changes. I fucked my ex every time I saw her, even at work, and she was still distant as fuck and showed all the classic signs of being bored. In the end it turned out that she was lieing about everything and she ran back to her ex and got married lol. Fucking really means jack and shit when it comes to relationship status, although if you don't sleep with her then I will say things are even worse then I thought.

[Aulirophile]

Originally Posted by Eomer

Just FYI, I realize the similarities. I'm not that blind! I guess with Anne, things were different at first. Or she was. Or so I thought. As they say, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Something to consider, when I was younger I moved to a new place and I was like "This'll be awesome, no one knows who I am cause I didn't grow up with any of these people, I don't have that baggage." People ended up treating me the same way. The problem, as I figured out pretty fast at that point, was actually me. Though Anne sounds like a typical female at this point, it seems any girl you get really interested in has the same reaction to you eventually.

Something to consider for the next time you meet a girl you really like, as I think your current relationship needs a fork stuck in it. Sorry!

[Dabamf]

Originally Posted by Alcestis

Further on what Big W Powah! said: Dabamf meant "hope" as in breaking up with Anne now could be the kick she needs to realize what a good thing she has, rather than delaying the inevitable outcome further.

This is what I meant.

Originally Posted by Alcestis

compilation of eomer quotes

I didn't read the stories about Chuck, but for what its worth, I thought these quotes were about Anne until Alcestis said otherwise. The wording was different but the message was the same so I assumed that I remembered the details wrongly.

Let me offer an evaluation of my own dating behavior, independently confirmed by my brother when he gave me a "here is your problem" speech. I have the cocky/funny down pat, I am great in circumstances where a girl is testing me, trying to embarass me or test my resolve. I am never afraid to bust on a girl for things she does and girls always love me for it. Then, when I actually start liking a girl, I continue to do these cocky/funny things, but there is something about my behavior that betrays me. I can't pinpoint it, but even though I front the cockiness, some clinginess/betamale traits seep through in relationships when I become a little complacent. It's something I have improved upon significantly over the course of just a couple instances, but it still exists. It's something I won't be able to fully fix until my identity and beliefs are more firmly established. It's an "inner game" (as they call it) issue, and establishing a solid inner game is really the ultimate goal of trying to improve with women.

I'm giving this because this seems like it could fit you perfectly also. It's a guess because I've never talked to you in person, but you certainly seem to have the alpha behavior down pat at first, and on the surface, but I think your inner state of mind & neediness might be seeping through when you open up more. Just an observation and hypothesis, I'm curious how accurately you think it fits you.

[Brad2770]

Now is a good time to make that Threesome possible.

Call up Xerxes and make it happen. I am being pretty serious about it too.

[Incognitogamer]

Originally Posted by Brad2770

Now is a good time to make that Threesome possible.

Call up Xerxes and make it happen. I am being pretty serious about it too.

And then post pics for us!

[Eomer]

Originally Posted by Dabamf

I'm giving this because this seems like it could fit you perfectly also. It's a guess because I've never talked to you in person, but you certainly seem to have the alpha behavior down pat at first, and on the surface, but I think your inner state of mind & neediness might be seeping through when you open up more. Just an observation and hypothesis, I'm curious how accurately you think it fits you.

Well from where I stand and after 3 days of you fuckers beating me down, I can't say that I disagree too much. I'm thinking of it like this: when things started to go sideways is where I really went wrong. Maybe things had gotten too serious too fast up to that point, regardless of who pushed it in that direction. But the situation was salvageable at that point, had I just left her be and not prodded her for an explanation of what was going on the first few days. But I did and came across super needy, and that only served to knock her perception of me down several notches, and at this point I've dug myself a deep hole that there is probably no getting out of.

However on the other hand, had there not been the issue of the ex-fuck buddy, maybe without that as a trigger I wouldn't have ended up in this situation. Or maybe it would have happened anyway, or further down the road, or whatever. I don't know.

We'll see how the wedding goes. I foresee either painful awkwardness for 4-6 hours, or some massive drama storm, with a 10% chance of reconciliation.

Originally Posted by Brad

Now is a good time to make that Threesome possible.

Call up Xerxes and make it happen. I am being pretty serious about it too.

The chances of that actually happening are zero dude. If Anne won't even give me play, why in the fuck would she get together with me and an ex? And besides, Xerxes has had a steady boyfriend pretty much since a week or two after we called things off.

[Tyen]

If Anne won't even give me play, why in the fuck would she get together with me and an ex?