The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

[aychamo_aycono]

Originally Posted by Sharmai

aychamo_aycono ask yourself if the advice given by Dumar and his personal habits in relationships; if that accurately describes yourself?

Hey you can just call me "aychamo" will save you some typing!

No, nothing Dumar has wrote is anything I would ever even remotely consider applying to my real life!

[aychamo_aycono]

Originally Posted by Etoille

He fundamentally claims to 'care about' people but behaves in ways that he either doesnt understand or doesnt care will hurt them. His behaviors seem to be influenced on societal rules, not emotional connections which would tell him 'hey if i do this ill hurt this person and i love them i dont want to do that.'

If you're talking about me having sex with girls while I was courting the girl this emo-thread is about, we talked about it a page or two back, saying that the sex with other girls was before I was sexually active with this girl. In the dating environment, it's completely normal.

[aychamo_aycono]

Originally Posted by Sharmai

I really hate modern therapy. It makes the assumption of right vs wrong. Morale values which are entirely opinion based. Loosely related research highly directed to reflect a wanted goal. Modern Therapy. We use it too often as a crutch instead of as a reactive helpful but uncommonly needed tool...

I really like how you think man.

[aychamo_aycono]

Originally Posted by Sharmai

My argument is that your not the norm in that what you enjoy would not ,on average, be what most men would enjoy. That aychamo_aycono is very likely to not be like you and that your advice would do more harm then good as such. Of course it must be put in aychamo_aycono's context for him to understand.

Fuck no! What Dumar describes sounds like literal hell to me. I know some dumb girls, and they can be briefly funny when they don't know the difference between a crouton and a futon (not kidding), but it makes me sick. I couldn't deal with it on a daily basis. I need a smart, powerful girl, that has her own opinions, interesting upbringing, and can put my ass in place when needed.

[Etoille]

Originally Posted by aychamo_aycono

If you're talking about me having sex with girls while I was courting the girl this emo-thread is about, we talked about it a page or two back, saying that the sex with other girls was before I was sexually active with this girl. In the dating environment, it's completely normal.

Don't dispute that. At all.

Don't think having sex on the internet for people while girls are not informed they are being blasted on the interwebz is normal. as someone else said, its criminal.

I think that you see your friends having deep connections with people and you want to mimic that intimacy to 'fit in' when youre with them. The way you've treated and spoken about women recently suggests you absolutely dont feel that way any other time (that you want to settle down).

Look you might not like the term sociopath. It DOES have a negative stigma attached to it. As sharmai correctly pointed out, it might just be who you are. It might not be. I don't know you. But I typically am able to get pretty good reads on people, and when I read this, that's what popped into my head.

You're free to reject it or consider it. In the end its your life. I just think that you'd probably really benefit from some counseling.

[aychamo_aycono]

Originally Posted by Etoille

I think that you see your friends having deep connections with people and you want to mimic that intimacy to 'fit in' when youre with them. The way you've treated and spoken about women recently suggests you absolutely dont feel that way any other time (that you want to settle down).

You're completely wrong.

Originally Posted by Etoille

Look you might not like the term sociopath. It DOES have a negative stigma attached to it.

You're completely unqualified to make any diagnosis, you have no patient history, and sociopath isn't even a medical diagonsis.

Originally Posted by Etoille

I just think that you'd probably really benefit from some counseling.

Again, you have no idea what you're talking about.

[GrobbeeTrull2.0]

Don't bother, Etoille. He likes the attention, just let him masturbate to his own self-image while he continues to wallow in "pity" and has unstable relationships that end in him posting pictures on the internet and whining for a few weeks.

You're completely unqualified to make any diagnosis, you have no patient history, and sociopath isn't even a medical diagonsis.

Masking yourself in semantics is a healthy sign that you're not all there, chief. Have some of this, you only have to meet 3 of the following to be a sociopath (antisocial personality disorder) straight from the DSM 4:

• Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest;
• Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure;
• Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead;
• Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults;
• Reckless disregard for safety of self or others;
• Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations;
• Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.

2 of the 3 needed, and that's just from what's been posted here, Doc.

Seek therapy, or end yourself. Either one.

[Axire]

Originally Posted by aychamo_aycono

Ok how the fuck do you know that LOL?

I shall never reveal it!

[Sharmai]

Modern. Fucking. Therapy.

-Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest;

Ever been young and dumb? Did something stupid? Reguaraly? Then this applies to you!! This just covered about 80% of highschool - college kids out there. Guess we are about to have an epidemic.

-Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure;

Ever lied? More the once? Oh fuck the world is about to end this just covered everyone out there.

-Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead;
See above.

-Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults;
Finally on that is at least a little specific. It indicates the need for repeated offenses. Might be on to something here! Doesn't apply to aychamo though I don't think. Or most of us....

-Reckless disregard for safety of self or others;
Drive above speed limit? yep this is you. Jay walk? This is you. Carry a pair of siccors in a public place with the sharp end up? This is you.. Oh fuck let me guess this needs to be taken into context right?

-Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations;
See current housing crisis. We have a LOT of sociopaths out there. Epidemic here we come!

-Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.
Hmm man rapes child. Another man cuts off rapists dick. This man does not remorse his action. This man is a sociopath by definition.



Modern. Damn. Fucking. Therapy.
It all needs massive amounts of context and interpretation to even start being useful and even then it often fails. If a man is a sociopath for going through a breakup then someone needs to have their head checked. If a man is a sociopath because he likes having multiple partners then someone needs their head checked and a history lesson. If a man is a sociopath because hes venting about a failed relationship on the interweb then someone needs more interweb experience.


AND their head checked.

I think Grobbe was being sarcastic.. I hope....

[aychamo_aycono]

Originally Posted by Sharmai

Modern. Damn. Fucking. Therapy.
It all needs massive amounts of context and interpretation to even start being useful and even then it often fails.

Yep, exactly. Back in med school during med psych we'd always pull out our DSMIVs and see how many different personality and other disorders we could fit ourselves in to just based on the diagnostic requirements. Every psychiatrist will tell you accurately diagnosing psychological disorders is an art, not an exact science. As you and I both have said, to arrive at any conclusion like that needs massive patient history and diagnostic skill.

Curiously, how did this turn from a thread about people writing their breakup stories to trying to judge me in relationships? Interesting turn of events.

[Wrathcaster]

What a tangent-full thread. I'll bite.

Was in a serious relationship for almost 2 years, knew at the beginning that she'd have to leave the state we were in eventually before I could graduate so she could go to chiropractic school... Got bored with her and stopped paying attention to her, moved away for 4 months for a school thing and we broke up while I was gone.

I'd been thinking for a while about breaking up with her but she was a really unique, intelligent, loving girl so I decided I'd finish up school and move down with her when I graduated... But by the time I'd made up my mind it was too late. We got into a fight the weekend I was going to tell her and broke up.

I wouldn't say I'm absolutely heartbroken, since I'd had my doubts about where we were heading for some time and I had definitely become bored (we hardly ever did it towards the end of the relationship), but I still have feelings for her. The heartbreak of the situation stems from the feeling of missed opportunities and regret over past mistakes on my part. The whole "too little too late" notion was definitely a mindfuck for me, because the situation was completely turned on me. In the end, though, I think it hurt more just because she broke up with me rather me dump her after I'd reconsidered our relationship and decided to give it my best again.

I think I have Eomer's disease, frankly, because this happens with any girl I date for more than 5-7 months. It starts out great, nothing major wrong with the girl, and I get bored and/or complacent with the relationship and end up fucking it up. I rarely ever break up with girls, though. I usually date them for big chunks of time then ignore them until they get fed up and call it quits. I'm on good terms with all of them, too.

[Eomer]

Curiously, how did this turn from a thread about people writing their breakup stories to trying to judge me in relationships? Interesting turn of events.

Because you are a drama queen!

[aychamo_aycono]

Originally Posted by Eomer

Because you are a drama queen!

What?!?!?!

[Insert 2 page flame and 4 page derail here!]

Just kidding

[Sii]

Etoille,

Will you drop the fucking sociopath talk already? Do you even understand what a personality disorder is? Jesus christ, grow the fuck up. Aych likes to fuck girls, join the club of 50% of every god damn dude on earth. Jesus. This does not make him unnormal. It makes him unwilling to settle down at the moment. Stop blowing everything out of fucking proportion.

A personality disorder (such as sociopathy) is pervading into all aspects of life. Despite what you might see in some fucking movie, sociopaths are so rarely successful in life, its not even funny. Aych is in medical school, and from what I have read and can tell an all around successful and smart guy. Whats your qualifications for diagnosing people with DSM personality disorders? I doubt you have any. Take your 3 paragraphs about fucking sociopathy from wiki and stfu. Unless you have the appropriate qualifications to throw words like that shit around, just don't. You have no fucking clue what your talking about, and you insult people who might.

Aych,

I feel for ya man. Sadly, I am pretty much the same way. I was hoping I will grow out of it, but since you are a little older then me.. You might blow my hope out of the water, lol. My whole group of friends are like this. We just are not ready to settle down yet. If we have a girlfriend or not, it doesn't matter.. We view sex pretty much the same way you do, and find it hard to find the right girl. Instead, its usually crazies. Likewise, we have all had our hearts intensely broken one time. I won't post my story or anything here, because mine was entirely my fault, and I completely realize that. It was a long time ago, though. I certainly have for the most part gotten over it, but I still think about her sometimes.

I am younger and probably less qualfied to give advice then some people around here, but my two cents is this: Don't worry about it. Don't sweat it. It will work out with her later, or it won't and you will find someone else good for you. You gotta remember man, and as someone else pretty much said earlier.. There are lots of girls out there. Over 3 billion girls. You will find another bro, if it doesn't work out with her.

...../lurks back into the shadows...

[GrobbeeTrull2.0]

The Lonely Hearts Club. Awww! KEEP YOUR CHIN UP KIDDO.