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01-26-2009, 06:19 PM
| #661 (permalink) |
| It's a party in the USA  Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,035
| What do a dildo and tofu have in common? They're both meat substitutes
__________________ Hello, my name is Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruíz y Picasso. |
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01-26-2009, 06:48 PM
| #662 (permalink) |
| Give me hairless cooch or give me death!  Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Florida
Posts: 5,329
+200 Internets | Brunette says to a blonde "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up and says "Where?
__________________ --If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless. |
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01-26-2009, 06:49 PM
| #663 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 335
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01-28-2009, 11:14 AM
| #665 (permalink) | ||
| Board Appointed Counselor  Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Dallas
Posts: 5,283
+29 Internets | Quote:
Such a bad joke.
__________________ X-Box Live - TrueTzimisce Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn - In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming "That is not dead which can Eternal lie, and with strange Eons even death may die" - H. P. Lovecraft Quote:
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02-06-2009, 03:09 PM
| #666 (permalink) |
| -internets from anon retards mean jack  Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Overthere next to that place
Posts: 2,720
| While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work." Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded. The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide." "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole ? " he asked. "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." Traffic Ticket - $95.00 Court Costs - $45.00 Look on the Cop's Face................PRICELESS
__________________  Give me more -internets you little bishes! |
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02-06-2009, 10:38 PM
| #667 (permalink) |
| Registered User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: PA
Posts: 1,693
 | I gained so much respect for Lacy this morning: I’m confused ... how can 2 million blacks get into Washington DC in sub zero temps in 1 day when 200,000 couldn’t get out of New Orleans at 85 degrees with four days notice. edit - 666th post $ Last edited by Yermum Onceme; 02-06-2009 at 10:48 PM.. |
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02-08-2009, 07:32 AM
| #668 (permalink) |
| Give me hairless cooch or give me death! Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Florida
Posts: 5,329
+200 Internets | Two Arab mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. 'This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now.' 'Yes, I remember him as a baby' says the other mother cheerfully. 'He's a martyr now though' mum confides. 'Oh, so sad dear' says the other. 'And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21' 'Oh, I remember him,' says the other happily, 'he had such curly hair when he was born'. 'He's a martyr too' says mum quietly. 'Oh, gracious me ....' Says the other. 'And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18', she whispers. 'Yes' says the friend enthusiastically, 'I remember when he first started school. 'He's a martyr also,' says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says... 'They blow up so fast, don't they?
__________________ --If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless. |
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02-09-2009, 11:56 AM
| #669 (permalink) |
| You just keep thinkin' Butch. That's what you're good at.  Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 762
+7 Internets | Joe, Bill, and Billie Bob were out fishing one day when they see Jesus walking on the water towards them. As Jesus gets near them Joe decides this is his chance. He calls out to Jesus “Jesus please, I have had this terrible back for years and the pain is insufferable. Please heal me!” Jesus touches Joe on the back, and Joe is healed. Bill amazed at what he has just seen calls to Jesus. “Jesus please I have horrible vision and can barely see through these glasses. Please heal me!” Jesus touches Bill on the forehead and Bill’s vision is perfect. Billy Bob looks at Jesus and shouts: “Don’t touch me!! I’m on disability!” |
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02-15-2009, 03:19 PM
| #670 (permalink) | |
| It's a party in the USA Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,035
| Quote:
thanks.
__________________ Hello, my name is Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruíz y Picasso. | |
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02-15-2009, 04:30 PM
| #671 (permalink) | |
| Give me hairless cooch or give me death! Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Florida
Posts: 5,329
+200 Internets | Quote:
__________________ --If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless. | |
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02-22-2009, 09:04 PM
| #674 (permalink) |
| You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy.  Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 960
| Daughter told me this one today... How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little nazies!
__________________ "I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for Letterman. But knowing what to say when my girlfriend's feeling insecure...I'm totally lost" |
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