Good Jokes - Post some - Page 2

kegkilla · 10-25-2007, 02:58 PM

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pitcher of beer and a mop."

Moontayle · 10-25-2007, 03:00 PM

One day in front of the Pearly Gates, Jesus happened to be walking by and decided to say hello to St. Peter. They talk for a bit, and then Jesus asks if Peter would like a bit of a break from the souls trafficking in from Earth. Peter thanks Jesus and wanders off for a bit of quiet.

Jesus takes the podium and an old man comes before him.

"Welcome to Heaven, my son," says Jesus. "Didst thou have an enlightened life?"

The old man nods. "I did."

"Didst thou leave any family behind?"

"Of a sort," says the old man.

Jesus is curious at the remark. "Please explain."

"Well, I had a son."

"That is well," says Jesus. "And was he a good son?"

"As good as most."

"And did you give to him good health?"

"I did. His only maladies were the nails in his hands and feet."

Jesus went quiet. He looks at the old man and tentatively asks, "Father?"

The old man, just as tentatively, asks, "Pinnochio?"

Quineloe · 10-25-2007, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Windemere11

What do you call 90% of you fuckers?

Racist

Telling racist jokes doesn't make you racist.

Windemere11 · 10-25-2007, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quineloe

Telling racist jokes doesn't make you racist.

I disagree, humor is one of the ways you propagate racism and prejudice... you should ask some jews about that

Quineloe · 10-25-2007, 03:05 PM

Oh I don't know any jew jokes, tell some please.

Your reason still doesn't disagree with me.

simeon · 10-25-2007, 03:05 PM

Everyone's a little bit racist
Today.
So, everyone's a little bit racist
Okay!
Ethnic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They're based on truth.
Don't take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!

Keed · 10-25-2007, 03:06 PM

Whats great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

And just because I know racist jokes doesn't make me or anyone else a racist for telling them or laughing at them. It just means you're an uptight asshole.

Keed · 10-25-2007, 03:08 PM

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

How many jews can you fit into a car?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Chips · 10-25-2007, 03:13 PM

Why do black people run so fast?

All the slow ones are in jail

Tallyn · 10-25-2007, 03:16 PM

The Pope just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Since he'd never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. The reluctant chauffeur pulled over along the roadside, climbed into the back of the limo, and the Pope took the wheel. The Pope then merged onto the highway and accelerated to over 90 mph to see what the limo could do.

Suddenly, the Pope noticed the blue light of the State Patrol in his side mirror, so he pulled over. The trooper approached the limo, peered in through the windows, then said, "Just a moment please, I need to call in."

The trooper called in and explained to the chief that he had a very important person pulled over for speeding.

"How do I handle this, chief?" asked the trooper.

"Is it the Governor?" questioned the chief.

"No! This guy is even more important!"

"Is it the Senator?" asked the chief.

"No, he's even more important than the Senator."

"What, did you pull over the President?" asked the chief.

"No! This guy is even more important!"

"Oh come on, who could be more important than the President of the United States?" demanded the chief.

"I don't know, sir," replied the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur."

CalhoonJugganaut · 10-25-2007, 03:16 PM

What does a 1-inch penis and a mafia boss have in common?

you can't fuck with either one of them.

homsar · 10-25-2007, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Windemere11

What do you call 90% of you fuckers?

Racist

So all the black comedians that make jokes about themselves. They're racist too.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Grumath · 10-25-2007, 03:17 PM

What is the best way to babysit black kids?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

What's the best way to get them down?

Blindfold a bunch of mexicans, hand them bats, and tell them there is a pinata in the room.

Keed · 10-25-2007, 03:21 PM

How do you keep a black guy out of your back yard?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

How do you stop a black guy from drowning?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

How do you stop a thousand black guys from drowning?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Whats long black and smells like shit?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

What does a black kid get for christmas?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Zeste · 10-25-2007, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tallyn

"I don't know, sir," replied the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur."

Haha, now that's a good joke!

10-25-2007, 03:13 PM	#24 (permalink)
Chips Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Joburg, RSA Posts: 1,099 -78 Internets	Why do black people run so fast? All the slow ones are in jail __________________ “White folks was in caves while we was building empires ... We taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it.” -Rev. Al Sharpton

10-25-2007, 03:16 PM	#26 (permalink)
CalhoonJugganaut Legends are made out of vulnerable men Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Norrath Carolina Posts: 787 +3 Internets	What does a 1-inch penis and a mafia boss have in common? you can't fuck with either one of them. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/nicekrispy http://www.soundclick.com/nicekrispy Calhoon - Dwarf - Paladin - Onyxia

10-25-2007, 03:17 PM	#28 (permalink)
Grumath The Decider Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 638 +4 Internets	What is the best way to babysit black kids? Put velcro on the ceiling. What's the best way to get them down? Blindfold a bunch of mexicans, hand them bats, and tell them there is a pinata in the room. __________________ To be highly certain of something, with a very low order of evidence, or in contradiction to a mountain of evidence, is a sign that something is wrong with your mind.

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10-25-2007, 02:58 PM	#16 (permalink)
kegkilla Banned Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: killadelphia Posts: 2,519 -205 Internets	A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pitcher of beer and a mop."

10-25-2007, 03:00 PM	#17 (permalink)
Moontayle Brilliant! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,822	One day in front of the Pearly Gates, Jesus happened to be walking by and decided to say hello to St. Peter. They talk for a bit, and then Jesus asks if Peter would like a bit of a break from the souls trafficking in from Earth. Peter thanks Jesus and wanders off for a bit of quiet. Jesus takes the podium and an old man comes before him. "Welcome to Heaven, my son," says Jesus. "Didst thou have an enlightened life?" The old man nods. "I did." "Didst thou leave any family behind?" "Of a sort," says the old man. Jesus is curious at the remark. "Please explain." "Well, I had a son." "That is well," says Jesus. "And was he a good son?" "As good as most." "And did you give to him good health?" "I did. His only maladies were the nails in his hands and feet." Jesus went quiet. He looks at the old man and tentatively asks, "Father?" The old man, just as tentatively, asks, "Pinnochio?"

10-25-2007, 03:05 PM	#20 (permalink)
Quineloe Hard Rock Hallelujah Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 9,615	Oh I don't know any jew jokes, tell some please. Your reason still doesn't disagree with me.

10-25-2007, 03:05 PM	#21 (permalink)
simeon Registered User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Bloomington, IL Posts: 927 +8 Internets	Everyone's a little bit racist Today. So, everyone's a little bit racist Okay! Ethnic jokes might be uncouth, But you laugh because They're based on truth. Don't take them as Personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them - So relax!

10-25-2007, 03:16 PM	#25 (permalink)
Tallyn None Given Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 580	The Pope just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Since he'd never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. The reluctant chauffeur pulled over along the roadside, climbed into the back of the limo, and the Pope took the wheel. The Pope then merged onto the highway and accelerated to over 90 mph to see what the limo could do. Suddenly, the Pope noticed the blue light of the State Patrol in his side mirror, so he pulled over. The trooper approached the limo, peered in through the windows, then said, "Just a moment please, I need to call in." The trooper called in and explained to the chief that he had a very important person pulled over for speeding. "How do I handle this, chief?" asked the trooper. "Is it the Governor?" questioned the chief. "No! This guy is even more important!" "Is it the Senator?" asked the chief. "No, he's even more important than the Senator." "What, did you pull over the President?" asked the chief. "No! This guy is even more important!" "Oh come on, who could be more important than the President of the United States?" demanded the chief. "I don't know, sir," replied the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur."