The Sanctity of my Bed has been Violated

ValkyrieIsAboutToDie · 02-24-2006, 02:08 AM

OK, I know I'm just an 05' and that advice threads are gay (especially this one), but it's 4:45 in the morning, my head is not in the right place and I have no idea where else to post this/thought it would be pretty funny...

Real quick background: I live in an offcampus apartment with 4 other dudes. My roomate who I share a bedroom with is a pretty cool guy, very unasuming, not around much, smart, never a problem, always cleans up after himself etc...

So anyway, tonight, he stumbles in at around 1am, seems to be drunk. I don't ask, he doesn't tell, wobbles up the stairs, showers, and passes out in his bed. I head up about an hour later, shower, and myself pass out in my bed.

Fast forward 3 1/2 hours (15 minutes ago). I'm sleeping like a friggin rock, enjoying the fact I don't have class until 11, when all of a sudden I feel something nudge my side. I have no idea what's going on, but it was a strong enough nudge to knock me from my deep sleep. At this point my mind is trying to click and figure out what the situation is. It's pitchblack and I have a fan blasting because my room gets pretty warm, so I can't see/hear anything. Suddenly, the nudge becomes a bit harder, and, holy shit, my whole body is being pushed. I have no fucking idea what's going on. My mind is racing. I feel a huge weight press down next to me, sliding my body off the bed in the process...

... and then it clicks... my roommate has settled in beside me.

It was just too much for me. I sat there for about 5 seconds trying to fully comprehend the fact that there is another guy sleeping up against me, before sliding off the edge and quickly tip-toeing out of the room. I calmy walked downstairs, and stood in the middle of my living room for about 10 minutes staring at the wall.

So now there's a dude sleeping in my bed, probably drunk off his ass, and he'll probably be there for another 5 hours.

So my question is: what the fuck do I do? He's a solid roommate, and has never done anything to piss me off, so I don't want to embarass the motherfucker.

Personally, my vote is a claw hammer to the face.

In case this thread is too gay, here's Elisha Cuthbert and Mila Kunis:

kuldiin · 02-24-2006, 02:15 AM

Cant you just tell him to get the fuck out of your bed?

Rad · 02-24-2006, 02:18 AM

^
|
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Kaosu · 02-24-2006, 02:18 AM

Take pictures of that fucking meatlover and when he comes down for breakfast or whatever, have that shit smeared all over the wall.

Then tell him that you don't want no meatgazers bunkin' with you. Then promptly kick him the ass.

Citten · 02-24-2006, 02:18 AM

If i were you i'd honestly just pick him up and put him in his own bed. No harm done. You don't really wanna burn any bridges or anything considering he's a decent roomate, so just keep it civil whatever you decide - even tho that's kinda gay, lol.

Dantre · 02-24-2006, 02:19 AM

Simple

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Say this loud enough to wake him up.

Pick him up if you have to and throw him back on his bed... worst case, throw him on the floor and place a blanket on him.

This title of this thread is deceiving

ValkyrieIsAboutToDie · 02-24-2006, 02:22 AM

I forgot to mention he detests gay people. An incident like this might ruin him.

Also, I don't know how drunk he still is. Something tells me he might have sobered up.

Metranon · 02-24-2006, 02:24 AM

Quote:

OK, I know I'm just an 05' and that advice threads are gay (especially this one)

don't second guess yourself, my friend

Kaosu · 02-24-2006, 02:25 AM

Closet gay perhaps?

I suggest you confront him if he is awake and tell him to get his clam diggin ass back to his own bed, so you can get some sleep.

ValkyrieIsAboutToDie · 02-24-2006, 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metranon

'05

I agree.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaosu

Closet gay perhaps?

I suggest you confront him if he is awake and tell him to get his clam diggin ass back to his own bed, so you can get some sleep.

I think this is what I'm most worried about... what if the fucker was doing it to get his gay jollies and figured I was just dead asleep. WHAT IF HE DOES THIS SHIT EVERY NIGHT?

Oh good fucking god.

kuldiin · 02-24-2006, 02:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ValkyrieIsAboutToDie

I forgot to mention he detests gay people. An incident like this might ruin him.

'My roomate who I share a bedroom with is a pretty cool guy, very unasuming, not around much, smart, never a problem, always cleans up after himself etc'

Then he jumps in bed with you.

Hes gotta be a closet homo, sorry. He may be the coolest guy in the world, but hes one block away from being a resident of brown town

Kaosu · 02-24-2006, 02:29 AM

Just wake up him and tell him to get the fuck out of your bed. Don't make this more complicated than it already is. I think it might be worse for him to wake up in your bed, rather than his.

ValkyrieIsAboutToDie · 02-24-2006, 02:38 AM

I woke the fucker up and acted like he had fallen asleep in my bed while I was downstairs.

I wish there was some lesson to be learned from this incident. Unfortunately, I am now scarred for life.

Samus Aran · 02-24-2006, 02:47 AM

Write FOHSS on his ass and fuck the hell out of it and take a picture and post it here.

That's the only way you can gay this situation up any more.

ValkyrieIsAboutToDie · 02-24-2006, 02:54 AM

I hope this gets rickshawed.

02-24-2006, 02:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
ValkyrieIsAboutToDie Needs food badly Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,321 +15 Internets	The Sanctity of my Bed has been Violated OK, I know I'm just an 05' and that advice threads are gay (especially this one), but it's 4:45 in the morning, my head is not in the right place and I have no idea where else to post this/thought it would be pretty funny... Real quick background: I live in an offcampus apartment with 4 other dudes. My roomate who I share a bedroom with is a pretty cool guy, very unasuming, not around much, smart, never a problem, always cleans up after himself etc... So anyway, tonight, he stumbles in at around 1am, seems to be drunk. I don't ask, he doesn't tell, wobbles up the stairs, showers, and passes out in his bed. I head up about an hour later, shower, and myself pass out in my bed. Fast forward 3 1/2 hours (15 minutes ago). I'm sleeping like a friggin rock, enjoying the fact I don't have class until 11, when all of a sudden I feel something nudge my side. I have no idea what's going on, but it was a strong enough nudge to knock me from my deep sleep. At this point my mind is trying to click and figure out what the situation is. It's pitchblack and I have a fan blasting because my room gets pretty warm, so I can't see/hear anything. Suddenly, the nudge becomes a bit harder, and, holy shit, my whole body is being pushed. I have no fucking idea what's going on. My mind is racing. I feel a huge weight press down next to me, sliding my body off the bed in the process... ... and then it clicks... my roommate has settled in beside me. It was just too much for me. I sat there for about 5 seconds trying to fully comprehend the fact that there is another guy sleeping up against me, before sliding off the edge and quickly tip-toeing out of the room. I calmy walked downstairs, and stood in the middle of my living room for about 10 minutes staring at the wall. So now there's a dude sleeping in my bed, probably drunk off his ass, and he'll probably be there for another 5 hours. So my question is: what the fuck do I do? He's a solid roommate, and has never done anything to piss me off, so I don't want to embarass the motherfucker. Personally, my vote is a claw hammer to the face. In case this thread is too gay, here's Elisha Cuthbert and Mila Kunis:

02-24-2006, 02:18 AM	#4 (permalink)
Kaosu Lost in the Twilight Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Gilbert/Chandler, Arizona Posts: 1,022 -4 Internets	Take pictures of that fucking meatlover and when he comes down for breakfast or whatever, have that shit smeared all over the wall. Then tell him that you don't want no meatgazers bunkin' with you. Then promptly kick him the ass. __________________ Like a frenzied horse that is driven. An unseen wind of plague shrieks across the border. Pandemonium, wailing, and stench of carnage fills the air. There is no place to run. No hope of escape. Those who are mourned will never return. The hands of time cannot be turned back.

02-24-2006, 02:25 AM	#9 (permalink)
Kaosu Lost in the Twilight Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Gilbert/Chandler, Arizona Posts: 1,022 -4 Internets	Closet gay perhaps? I suggest you confront him if he is awake and tell him to get his clam diggin ass back to his own bed, so you can get some sleep. __________________ Like a frenzied horse that is driven. An unseen wind of plague shrieks across the border. Pandemonium, wailing, and stench of carnage fills the air. There is no place to run. No hope of escape. Those who are mourned will never return. The hands of time cannot be turned back.

02-24-2006, 02:29 AM	#12 (permalink)
Kaosu Lost in the Twilight Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Gilbert/Chandler, Arizona Posts: 1,022 -4 Internets	Just wake up him and tell him to get the fuck out of your bed. Don't make this more complicated than it already is. I think it might be worse for him to wake up in your bed, rather than his. __________________ Like a frenzied horse that is driven. An unseen wind of plague shrieks across the border. Pandemonium, wailing, and stench of carnage fills the air. There is no place to run. No hope of escape. Those who are mourned will never return. The hands of time cannot be turned back.

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02-24-2006, 02:15 AM	#2 (permalink)
kuldiin Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 141 +0 Internets	Cant you just tell him to get the fuck out of your bed?

02-24-2006, 02:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
Citten Frozen til Copernicus Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Antarctica Posts: 508	If i were you i'd honestly just pick him up and put him in his own bed. No harm done. You don't really wanna burn any bridges or anything considering he's a decent roomate, so just keep it civil whatever you decide - even tho that's kinda gay, lol.

02-24-2006, 02:19 AM	#6 (permalink)
Dantre Registered User Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 333 -16 Internets	Simple "What the fuck are you doing?" Say this loud enough to wake him up. Pick him up if you have to and throw him back on his bed... worst case, throw him on the floor and place a blanket on him. This title of this thread is deceiving

02-24-2006, 02:22 AM	#7 (permalink)
ValkyrieIsAboutToDie Needs food badly Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,321 +15 Internets	I forgot to mention he detests gay people. An incident like this might ruin him. Also, I don't know how drunk he still is. Something tells me he might have sobered up.

02-24-2006, 02:38 AM	#13 (permalink)
ValkyrieIsAboutToDie Needs food badly Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,321 +15 Internets	I woke the fucker up and acted like he had fallen asleep in my bed while I was downstairs. I wish there was some lesson to be learned from this incident. Unfortunately, I am now scarred for life.

02-24-2006, 02:47 AM	#14 (permalink)
Samus Aran Sons of the Storm Heal Bitch Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 771 +1 Internets	Write FOHSS on his ass and fuck the hell out of it and take a picture and post it here. That's the only way you can gay this situation up any more.

02-24-2006, 02:54 AM	#15 (permalink)
ValkyrieIsAboutToDie Needs food badly Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,321 +15 Internets	I hope this gets rickshawed.