NEVER run out of toilet paper

Zhavric · 02-21-2006, 09:02 AM

NEVER run out of toilet paper.

Fla. Man Kills Roommate Over Toilet Paper

MOSS BLUFF, Fla. - A man accused of fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home has been arrested.

Franklin Paul Crow, 56, was charged Monday with homicide in the death of Kenneth Matthews, 58, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

Capt. Thomas Bibb said Crow initially denied his involvement, but confessed during questioning.

Crow told investigators that the men were fighting about the toilet paper over the weekend when Matthews pulled out a rifle. Crow said he then began beating Matthews with the sledgehammer and claw hammer, according to an affidavit.

Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said.

Crow was being held at the Marion County jail without bond. It was not immediately known whether he had an attorney.

So to sum up...

-

= DEATH BY FUCKING HAMMERS!

What's the moral of the story? Don't room with a psychopath who likes to duel wield.

WTF is wrong with Florida?

Hippos II · 02-21-2006, 09:08 AM

I just took a massive dump and because my roomate had used up all of the toilet paper, I killed him and used him as the replacement wiping tool.

Valorale · 02-21-2006, 09:12 AM

Beat him till he was unrecognizable? That 56y/o has a lot of energy, go get em tiger!

Rathgar · 02-21-2006, 09:28 AM

It's justified if you ask me. Have you ever actually started taking a shit only to see toilet paper missing when you know for a fact it was there the last time you dropped a loaf? If there was ever a reason to kill someone, that's it.

LexarkT11 · 02-21-2006, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rathgar

It's justified if you ask me. Have you ever actually started taking a shit only to see toilet paper missing when you know for a fact it was there the last time you dropped a loaf? If there was ever a reason to kill someone, that's it.

Im not sure I would kill them, maybe just take their sheets or pillowcases into the bathroom and use it instead, this could possibly get the point across too.

Zimphultron · 02-21-2006, 09:39 AM

56 isn't that old. It's a far stretch for some psycho, but Chuck Norris is like 65.

Shogon · 02-21-2006, 09:46 AM

Marion County... lol, I live in Marion County.

Last time I remember Marion County on the nationwide news was when that hot blonde teacher Debra LaFave traveled up here to Ocala from the Tampa area and banged that 14/15 year old kid in that SUV while his cousin drove them around.

Zhavric · 02-21-2006, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shogon

Marion County... lol, I live in Marion County.

Last time I remember Marion County on the nationwide news was when that hot blonde teacher Debra LaFave traveled up here to Ocala from the Tampa area and banged that 14/15 year old kid in that SUV while his cousin drove them around.

There must be something in the water. "Come to gorgeous Marion county where you'll live the pleasant life of going bat-shit psycho! Just look at our happy residents as they have illegal sex with teen-agers and murder one another over toilet paper with sledge & claw hammers."

Uber Uberest ~Rathe · 02-21-2006, 10:32 AM

I must not be retarded, because everytime I go to drop a sewer pickle I make sure there is toilet paper before removing pants.

Zhavric · 02-21-2006, 10:50 AM

You think the guy saw it coming?

"What's that sledge hammer doing in the shitter?"

"It's there in case you ever leave me stranded, fucker."

"O RLY"

"YA RLY"

Khalikryst · 02-21-2006, 11:38 AM

And this story is what brings society to accepting how the three sea shells shall lead us to a more harmonius existance.

Zistrix · 02-21-2006, 11:41 AM

Na thats bullshit - I bet the truth is he beat the sht out of him for using that god damned 1000 sheet scotty tissue stuff. Its like wiping with origami paper

Jubee · 02-21-2006, 11:43 AM

The real question is: How big of a loser do you have to be to have a roommate when you are 56/58 years old?

Diwali · 02-21-2006, 11:59 AM

How can the man be a loser? He BEAT somebody to DEATH with a claw hammer. Thats how real men handle things. With claw hammers.

Wiretwister · 02-21-2006, 02:41 PM

Every murderer, rapist, child molester, retarded, disfigured, disgruntled, or otherwise NON-productive member of society either lives IN, or travels THROUGH Florida during a psychotic/destructive rampage. It's a fact....

02-21-2006, 09:02 AM	#1 (permalink)
Zhavric Shovel > bat Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,020 +2 Internets	NEVER run out of toilet paper NEVER run out of toilet paper. Fla. Man Kills Roommate Over Toilet Paper MOSS BLUFF, Fla. - A man accused of fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home has been arrested. Franklin Paul Crow, 56, was charged Monday with homicide in the death of Kenneth Matthews, 58, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office. Capt. Thomas Bibb said Crow initially denied his involvement, but confessed during questioning. Crow told investigators that the men were fighting about the toilet paper over the weekend when Matthews pulled out a rifle. Crow said he then began beating Matthews with the sledgehammer and claw hammer, according to an affidavit. Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said. Crow was being held at the Marion County jail without bond. It was not immediately known whether he had an attorney. So to sum up... - = DEATH BY FUCKING HAMMERS! What's the moral of the story? Don't room with a psychopath who likes to duel wield. WTF is wrong with Florida? __________________ "You have now earned the right to use spider jeruselum as your avatar. Carry on." ZHAVRIC

02-21-2006, 09:08 AM	#2 (permalink)
Hippos II Registered User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 684 -1 Internets	I just took a massive dump and because my roomate had used up all of the toilet paper, I killed him and used him as the replacement wiping tool. __________________

02-21-2006, 09:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
Valorale Not an 05 Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 230 +0 Internets	Beat him till he was unrecognizable? That 56y/o has a lot of energy, go get em tiger! __________________ Valorale - 70 Rogue - Medivh Vindikael - 70 Ranger - Bertoxx Retired

02-21-2006, 09:28 AM	#4 (permalink)
Rathgar Not a Dick Connoisseur Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 873 -2 Internets	It's justified if you ask me. Have you ever actually started taking a shit only to see toilet paper missing when you know for a fact it was there the last time you dropped a loaf? If there was ever a reason to kill someone, that's it. __________________ Reaching for the random.

02-21-2006, 09:39 AM	#6 (permalink)
Zimphultron HorrorFK Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 697	56 isn't that old. It's a far stretch for some psycho, but Chuck Norris is like 65. __________________ HorrorFK

02-21-2006, 09:46 AM	#7 (permalink)
Shogon Banned Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Florida Posts: 912 +0 Internets	Marion County... lol, I live in Marion County. Last time I remember Marion County on the nationwide news was when that hot blonde teacher Debra LaFave traveled up here to Ocala from the Tampa area and banged that 14/15 year old kid in that SUV while his cousin drove them around.

02-21-2006, 10:32 AM	#9 (permalink)
Uber Uberest ~Rathe Banned Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Boston Posts: 1,710 +0 Internets	I must not be retarded, because everytime I go to drop a sewer pickle I make sure there is toilet paper before removing pants.

02-21-2006, 10:50 AM	#10 (permalink)
Zhavric Shovel > bat Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,020 +2 Internets	You think the guy saw it coming? "What's that sledge hammer doing in the shitter?" "It's there in case you ever leave me stranded, fucker." "O RLY" "YA RLY" __________________ "You have now earned the right to use spider jeruselum as your avatar. Carry on." ZHAVRIC

02-21-2006, 11:38 AM	#11 (permalink)
Khalikryst OotS MMO plz Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,165 +0 Internets	And this story is what brings society to accepting how the three sea shells shall lead us to a more harmonius existance. Attached Images

02-21-2006, 11:41 AM	#12 (permalink)
Zistrix The Overkill Killer Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,077	Na thats bullshit - I bet the truth is he beat the sht out of him for using that god damned 1000 sheet scotty tissue stuff. Its like wiping with origami paper

02-21-2006, 11:59 AM	#14 (permalink)
Diwali Registered User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Dearborn, Michigan Posts: 437	How can the man be a loser? He BEAT somebody to DEATH with a claw hammer. Thats how real men handle things. With claw hammers. __________________ "Just think of the lulz Johnson, think of the lulz! DO IT FOR THE LULZ!"

02-21-2006, 02:41 PM	#15 (permalink)
Wiretwister Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Central Florida Posts: 180 -1 Internets	Every murderer, rapist, child molester, retarded, disfigured, disgruntled, or otherwise NON-productive member of society either lives IN, or travels THROUGH Florida during a psychotic/destructive rampage. It's a fact....

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