Collection of George Zimmer quotes.

[Sukushi]

Post your Geroge Zimmer quotes here.

[Astaire]

These are all the originals directly from the Ashlee Simpson site the night it went up.. I saved them.




10/25/2004 4:58:57 AM - by GEORGE_ZIMMER

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. YOU BETTER START PRACTICING WITH 2 LITER COKE BOTTLES BEFORE YOU RECEIVE MY EXUBERANT EPIDERMAL CORDAGE. MY AMPLE HEAD TEEMING WITH MAN HOOCH IS SO COLOSSAL THAT GOD TRIPS OVER IT. I GUARANTEE IT.

.
10/25/2004 4:52:59 AM - by GEORGE_ZIMMER

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE, I'D LIKE TO BEAT YOUR CHEST WITH MY ENORMOUSLY HEAVY, THROBBING PELVIC CROCODILE UNTIL I GEYSER A HUGE WATERFALL OF STICKY BABY DRESSING ON YOUR FACE. I'LL MOP IT UP WITH MY THICK HEAD AND SLAP IT ON YOUR LIPS SO THEY DON'T CHAP. YOU'LL CUM SO HARD YOUR DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBORS WILL NEED TO CHANGE THEIR SHEETS. I GUARANTEE IT.

.
10/25/2004 4:49:32 AM - by GEORGE_ZIMMER

SHE'S GOT THAT ENORMOUSE JAY LENO JAW WHICH MOST PEOPLE DON'T FIND ATTRACTIVE BUT THAT LARGE JAW ALLOWS ME TO CRAM EVERY FAT INCH OF MY GROIN EGGPLANT DOWN HER THROAT WHILE TEARS STREAM DOWN HER FACE AS SHE TRIES TO LIPSYNCH THE NATIONAL ANTHEM. IF SHE BLACKS OUT, I JUST FLIP ON SPORTSCENTER AND CRACK OPEN A PABST ON HER BUCK TEETH. I GUARANTEE IT.


10/25/2004 4:47:20 AM - by GEORGE_ZIMMER

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WOULD LOVE TO TAKE ASHLEE OUT FOR A PICNIC IN A PARK, LIE HER DOWN COMPLETELY FLAT ON THE PICNIC BLANKET, BALANCE A PABST ON HER BACK, AND RIGOROUSLY VIOLATE HER FROM BEHIND - QUIZZING HER ON BASIC GEOMETRY IN SWEDISH WHILE SHE HAS A MOUTFUL OF A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH AND ANTS CRAWLING INTO HER ARMPITS. SHE WILL CUM SO HARD HER FACE WILL MELT LIKE THAT NAZI ASS IN RAIDERS. I GUARANTEE IT.

CUNT
10/25/2004 4:45:12 AM - by GEORGE_ZIMMER

HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AND I WANT TO BEND YOU OVER A PING-PONG TABLE AND FORCE YOU TO READ HARPER'S BIZAAR WHILE I VIOLATE A SERIES OF YOUR ORAFICES. I'LL COUNT EACH PLUNGE OF MY INVADER IN GREEK. YOU'LL COME SO HARD YOUR NOSE RING WILL MAGNETIZE. I GUARANTEE IT.


GEORGE ZIMMER LIVES
10/25/2004 4:43:09 AM - by GEORGE_ZIMMER

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE, BABY, I WILL BLOW LIKE A SHOTGUN THROUGH YOUR UTERUS. IT'LL SHOOT OUT YOUR EARS BEFORE YOU CAN SAY BEEF JERKY. MY COCK SHOULD BE DOING PILE DRIVERS ON YOUR TONSILS WHILE YOU HUM MOZART'S MAGIC FLUTE. YOU'D GET SO SOGGY WET WE'D NEED A MOP. I GUARANTEE IT.

[qxx]

HI I'M GEORGE ZIMMER FOUNDER AND CEO OF MENS WAREHOUSE. I HAVE MUSTERED ENOUGH TESTICULAR FORTITUDE TO COME CONQEUR YOUR BULBOUS VAGINA WITH MY GOLIATH SIZED ALABAMA SPLITTER. YOU WILL OPEN YOUR ASEXUAL JOWLS AND FEAST UPON MY GOBBLE-DEE-GOOK WHILE I THUMB YOUR BUTTOCKS IN A DISASTEROUS RAGE. ILL MAKE YOU CUM SO HARD YOU WILL BE GLAD YOU WERE BORN WITH BOTH SEX ORGANS I GUARANTEE IT

[FanBuss]

Pure gold.

[Kiely]

Think those originals are better then any other 1's iv seen, most likely the only ones done by the originator. ;(

[Phoenix]

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MENS WAREHOUSE.

RECENTLY, I WAS APPROACHED BY QUITE A LUCIOUS LOOKING LADY PERSON. HER BINDING BUST FIGURE IMMEDIATLY FORCED MY TWITCHING GARGANTUAN MAN CANNON TO RAPIDLY EXPAND TO DIVINE ELEPHANTINE DIMENSIONS. THE LADY IN QUESTION, WHO'S BEAUTY WAS ONLY MATCHED BY THAT OF MY COLLOSSAL DOWNSTAIRS DOWEL, WAS ASTOUNDED AND THUS PROCEEDED TO STARE INTENTLY AT MY INTENSIFYINGLY TITANTIC LUST LOG OF INFINITE SEXUAL DESIRE AS IT OBILTERATED MY FINE UNDERWEAR AND TROUSERS CUNNINGLY CONSTRUCTED BY MY DIGNIFIED CHAIN OF RETAILERS. SHE WAS SO FLABBERGASTED AT THE SHEER SYMBOLIC SIZE AND MAGNITUDE OF THE MAGNIFICENT AND IMPRESSIVE ZIMMER BATON THAT I UNDRESSED HER FINE SKIRT AND UNDERWEAR GARMENTS WITH MY PSYCOKINETIC EYES AND SLAMMED MY GIANT OMINOUS VEINY WHALE INTO THE CREVACE OF HER ORIFICE AND DISCHARGED AN ARMY OF MINITURE DAPPER ALBINO BOSNIANS TO COAT THE INSIDES OF HER ANAL CAVITY WITH ONLY THE FINEST SMELLING ZIMMER PROTEIN PACKED PENILE PRODUCE. ONCE I HAD FINISHED WITH THE PLEASANT PUPPYLIKE WHORE, I STAMPED MY NOW ALMOST FLACID STOPCOCK OF JOY AGAINST THE GROUND AND CHARGED INTO THE NIGHT SKY WITH THE ROCKET FUEL OF A THOUSAND GODS TO CONTINUE MY CRUSADES OF MEAT CLOBBERING. I GUARANTEE IT.

[Samus Aran]

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I JUST ATE A BOWL OF DYNAMITE HOT CHILI,
IM GOING TO SHIT GREASY STEAMING STEAK NUGGETS DOWN YOUR LUSTFULLY AWAITING THROAT, THEN IM GOING TO TEAR IT OPEN
WITH MY JUMBO-JET SIZED PYTHON COCK. AFTERWARDS I WILL SPLIT YOU IN HALF LIKE A PEICE OF LUMBER FROM BEHIND WHILE I
SPRAY A HALF POUND OF SLOPPY MAN-MAYONAISE ALL OVER YOUR FACE, YOU WILL BEG TO POLISH MY IDAHO POTATO SIZED COJONES WITH
YOUR TONGUE AFTER I DIP THEM IN YOUR COLOSTOMY BAG, I GUARANTEE IT.

[Ichu]

Made one up for halloween;

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. THIS HALLOWEEN I WOULD LOVE TO DRESS YOU UP LIKE THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST AND TAKE YOU TRICK OR TREATING. ONCE YOUR SACK OF CANDY GROWS AS HEAVY AS MY THUNDERING TROUSER TROLL I WILL FLIP YOU ONTO THE NEAREST OLDSMOBILE AND POUND MY THROBBING SWOLLEN CYCLOPS INTO YOUR HAUNTED HOUSE . YOU WILL BE SCREAMING "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME" WHILE MY FLYING MONKEYS BOMBARD YOUR BREAD OVEN. YOU'LL CUM SO HARD THE NEIGHBORHOOD WILL THINK MICHAEL MYERS IS ON ANOTHER HALLOWEEN KILLING SPREE. I GUARENTEE IT.

and just for fun;

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WAS THINKING ABOUT TAKING YOU A CRUISE THIS SUMMER. YOU CAN RIDE FOR FREE ON THE S.S ZIMMER AND ENJOY MY HULKING ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET. ONCE ALL YOUR TEETH BUST OUT FROM CHOWING ON MY ROCK HARD COCTOPUS I'LL KICK YOU OVER WITH MY SIZE 19 ITALLIAN LOAFERS AND DROP MY ANCHOR INTO YOUR MURKY DEPTHS. YOU'LL CUM SO HARD YOU WILL FLOOD THE SHIP LIKE IN TITANIC. I GUARENTEE IT.

[frott]

" I GUARENTEE IT."

I could post all of those done by the "real" Zimmer team, but that would cheapen the myth. Sally forth.

[Zhavric]

I was thinking fish...




HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I DECIDED TO EMBARK ON A FISHING TRIP IN YOUR TRIMMED TUNA PATCH. I WILL DINE ON YOUR EXQUISITE FISH TACO WHILE YOU STRUGGLE TO SWALLOW MY MASSIVE MAN SALMON. YOUR MENSTRAL DISCHARGE IS SIMPLY CHUM IN THE WATER TO ENTICE MY GREAT WHITE TORPEDO OF LOVE. I WILL SWIM UPSTREAM THROUGH YOUR TIGHT LOVE RIVER TO REACH MY SPAWNING GROUND WHERE I'LL GO OFF LIKE A DEPTH CHARGE. YOU'LL CUM SO HARD THEY'LL BE CLEANING YOUR CAVIAR OFF ROOFFTOPS FIVE MILES AWAY. I GUARENTEE IT.

[qxx]

[EnigmaticParadigm]

Lol

[Njorls]

I think these 2 are from the Cecilantes thread. I found em by searching for Oh Holy Night, which is my favorite Zimmer punchline.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. CECIL, YOUR TECHNIQUES SUCKS WORSE THAN MONICA LEWINSKY HOPPED UP ON BILL CLINTON'S COCK ON A BAD DAY. I WOULD ADMIT THAT I PLUNGED MY IMMENSE PEVLIC REDWOOD INTO THOSE HOT, DRIPPING ORIFICES ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. SORT OF LIKE THE NIGHT I HAD WITH YOUR MOTHER ON A MIDSUMMER'S EVE. SHE WAS ASTOUNDED WHEN I WHIPPED OUT MY LUMBERING MAN-MEAT AND MADE MY WAY WITH HER WHILE I RECITED TO HER PORTIONS OF DANTE'S INFERNO IN LATIN. SHE SCREAMED SO LOUD, IT CAUSED THE NEIGHBORS TO ORGASM. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, OWNER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE - HEY PENCILDICK, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU MADE A WOMAN SING WHILE YOU THRUST YOUR SORRY EXCUSE FOR A WARRIOR'S GREATSWORD INTO HER GAPING MAW? I RECALL ONE OF THOSE TIMES I CAME ACROSS ONE OF YOUR LAME EXCUSES OF A LOVE AFFAIR, ONLY TO DRAG HER TO A MOTEL SIX AND GIVE HER A RIDE ON MY INTENSELY MEATY MUSHROOM. SHE WAS SO ESTATIC, SHE STARTED SINGING, 'OH HOLY NIGHT," ONLY SHE NEVER GOT TO HOLY. I GUARANTEE IT.

[Bizantium]

HI....IM SORCEREROFXEGONY, RETARD AND MEMBER OF THE FIRES OF HEAVEN FORUMS. I LIKE TO WATCH THE PRETTY GIRL THREAD WHILE USING FOUR FINGERS TO SQUEEZE OUT HIGHLY PROTEINIZED TWINKIE FILLING RIGHT OUT OF MY SKY SCRAPER WHILE SINGING THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE AND BALANCING A CAN OF PEPSI ON MY HEAD WHILE DOING IT. PAGE 200 LEFT ME CUMMING SO HARD I THOUGHT I WAS IN YELLOWSTONE PARK. TRY IT, YOU'LL LOVE IT...I FUCKING GUARENTEE IT......BITCH

[Kayiznaru]

Originally Posted by Njorls

I think these 2 are from the Cecilantes thread. I found em by searching for Oh Holy Night, which is my favorite Zimmer punchline.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. CECIL, YOUR TECHNIQUES SUCKS WORSE THAN MONICA LEWINSKY HOPPED UP ON BILL CLINTON'S COCK ON A BAD DAY. I WOULD ADMIT THAT I PLUNGED MY IMMENSE PEVLIC REDWOOD INTO THOSE HOT, DRIPPING ORIFICES ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. SORT OF LIKE THE NIGHT I HAD WITH YOUR MOTHER ON A MIDSUMMER'S EVE. SHE WAS ASTOUNDED WHEN I WHIPPED OUT MY LUMBERING MAN-MEAT AND MADE MY WAY WITH HER WHILE I RECITED TO HER PORTIONS OF DANTE'S INFERNO IN LATIN. SHE SCREAMED SO LOUD, IT CAUSED THE NEIGHBORS TO ORGASM. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, OWNER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE - HEY PENCILDICK, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU MADE A WOMAN SING WHILE YOU THRUST YOUR SORRY EXCUSE FOR A WARRIOR'S GREATSWORD INTO HER GAPING MAW? I RECALL ONE OF THOSE TIMES I CAME ACROSS ONE OF YOUR LAME EXCUSES OF A LOVE AFFAIR, ONLY TO DRAG HER TO A MOTEL SIX AND GIVE HER A RIDE ON MY INTENSELY MEATY MUSHROOM. SHE WAS SO ESTATIC, SHE STARTED SINGING, 'OH HOLY NIGHT," ONLY SHE NEVER GOT TO HOLY. I GUARANTEE IT.

I'm the one responsible for those.