Reviews by Smith T. Aimees

[Tingteng]

Dude does reviews all over Amazon sales. I read through about 7 pages of them they're fairly entertaining if you're bored at work or something.

Fairly work safe.

If you need 10,000 f bombs to laugh you might not enjoy this.

D'oh forgot link S.T.A.

[Big Rudy]

brilliant stuff

[Eomer]

Finally, I love that Anal Eze has a desensitizing agent. It makes it possible for me to use Anal Eze in my torture dungeon without my victims complaining too much. It also helps to numb my tongue so the chunks in the fecal-lube mixture are not so objectionable.

Jesus, I had no idea Amazon was selling anal lube on the US site. Their Canadian site sticks more or less to books, music, movies, and games.

[redav]

reminds me of the dude with all the crazy feedback comments on ebay. shit, wish I could remember his name

[Matt the Gimp]

I was looking at GPS units on cnet one time and there was a user review that went something like this.


"Do not buy this product, it is just another way for the government to keep track of us. I for one will never buy this."

How this person managed to review the product while swearing off to never own a gps is beyond me but it kept me from buying it!

Thanks buddy!

[EQ2sucks]

Originally posted by redav
reminds me of the dude with all the crazy feedback comments on ebay. shit, wish I could remember his name

http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAP...erid=andy46477

[James]

Thanks to the BookShade, very few of my paperbacks have been diagnosed with melanoma. I appreciate manufacturers finally realizing that inanimate objects, like people, need good skin care.

Hilarious.

[Chaotic]

Pass the butter, pass the SAUSAGE. Look out bunghole, here comes the SAUSAGE.

I'm fucking cracking up. Those ebay feedbacks are great.

[Ham n Cheese]

Hahah I forgot about the eBay dude. I love him so much.

I like my cars like I like my women - fast and expensive! Then I leave them.

[Murr]

Lol the ebay guy is gold

CONFIDENT SELLER. HAS YOUTHFUL OVA. VERY PROFESSIONAL INDEED. YES.

Very polite, but I never spoke to him. Quick seller, yet I never bought. Hmmm.

Follow-up by andy46477: Technically, a big, wet, sloppy, TWAT provides the "smoothest transactions."

Reply by mrbean00: Not buying or selling provides the smoothest transactions.

[Eomer]

Whoever this Smith T. Aimees dude is, he should be writing comedy somewhere. Maybe this IS something being done by a pro as a gag, I don't know. I am sitting here on page 2 of apparently 11 pages of his reviews, and I'm looking forward to reading damn near all of them.

From his review of Jlo's album (only 2 of 12 people found it helpful :/):

2. Step Into My World: I like this song because the lyrics reveal the challenges of being Jennifer Lopez. Being a celebrity looks so easy, but in fact it is a total lifestyle requiring complete dedication. I have heard Jennifer even individually selects the chinchillas who will be electrocuted to create liederhosen for her fashion collection.

[Samus Aran]

fattyfat?

[Murr]

haha, the amazon guy

These chocolate coins look almost like those new Pocahontas dollar coins! They're so realistic that I've been able to fool several homeless panhandlers into accepting them. I also tried to exchange three of the coins for a Backstreet Boys cd at Tower Records, but I was cruelly rebuffed by the salesperson. I continue to maintain that $0.36 worth of Fort Knox chocolate coins is MORE than reasonable compensation for a piece of crap CD by the Backstreet Boys, but apparently others disagree. On the other hand it's nice that deaf people are allowed to work anywhere they want, even record stores.

[Zinke]

nice

I do not like him, Sam I am. I do not like green eggs and ham
Reply by miligram: Lay off my green eggs you prick! As for the ham, well, you can jam it!
Follow-up by andy46477: Sam does not jam ham. Not a pound. Not a gram.

[seanwin]

The Human Hand Offered by A Touch of Romance


I like to have this human hand around the house for all sorts of reasons! One thing it is especially good for is disciplining my dogs. Sometimes they misbehave and do things like interrupt my afternoon dalliances with various service personnel sent to my house to repair broken appliances. This is when I spare not the Human Hand and use it to demonstrate who is boss. The Human Hand is also nice for showing certain types of affection. I would not touch my dogs' rectums with my real hand but I do not mind doing so with the Human Hand.

The Human Hand is also nice to touch to my own rectum. Specifically, I ask my lovers to apply the human hand to my rectum for me. Many of my lovers happily comply, although a few have noted the disturbing implications of using what is a realistic looking severed limb to bring me sexual pleasure. Indeed, I have begun to feel somewhat randy around the amputee community since buying the Human Hand.

The Human Hand is additionally nice as a gift for friends and family. It's one of those items that most people do not think to buy for themselves. I was able to give one of these to my grandmother for her birthday, and another to my nephew for his bar mitzvah. Because the Human Hand is useful for things other than sex, you can give it to almost anyone!

Finally, the Human Hand has a wonderful rubbery smell. Of course that smell deteriorates with use, but I find that if I take a bath with the Human Hand I can make it smell almost new again. I like to make people shake hands with the Human Hand by sticking it in my sleeves when I go to job interviews. The person always laughs when they pull my arm off, except for when they throw me out. It really helps me feel confident during the interview. Hopefully soon I will land a job!