Grouphug.us

[Chaotic]

There was a thread like this awhile ago, some funny shit. I was browsing through and found a bunch of good stuff, figured we could start it up again. For those of you who don't know, its an anonymous confession website.

For good measure, there is also
http://www.notproud.com/
http://speakyourmind.jokaroo.com/?mode=newest
grouphug.us (obviously)

And if you want to see the creepiest fucking thing
http://tellthe.net/confess/


I like Chinese and Korean boys with lots of armpit hair. It's a real fetish. It's like everytime I see a good looking Chinese boy all I can think about is their pale skin and sudden bush of underarm hair. I once slept with this Chinese man and I started licking his armpit even before he had a bath. He gave me this weird look and told me I was a very (ends here)



I'm fucking my best friend's boyfriend. Sorry Kate




I want my girl friend to wrap her mouth on me i want to bust all over her face and mouth and hair and everywhere
but
she wont do it not even a kiss or a lick i hate her for it
i hate she would do it to him and not me
i dont believe her when she says she dosnt want to be with him
i hate her
god i want to glaze her




I regret everything I have ever done sexually. Hornyness makes me worthless.

[Jinheim]

www.lowbrow.com

Better than all of the above.

[Frawdo]

Warning: Lowbrow is deadly addicting. It's like you try it once and pretty soon your finger is glued to F5 and you're not even reading them anymore.

[James]

http://www.fohguild.org/forums/showt...threadid=13184

[Vader]

Once when my family was flying back to Boston the pilot on the plane let me and my two sisters come up into the cockpit to make the announcements. Jill told a joke over the intercom, then informed everyone it was time to take their seats. We walked back down the aisle and everyone on the plane clapped for us.

[Hatorade]

Free Food!
I’m about to head out on my bike when the next-door neighbours arrive, wheeling in their Lexus, so I wait for them to park.

I’ve tried making friends with them, but for some reason I’m considered not worthy.

When they finally get parked, I start to bike off, but the 9 year-old son gets out and happily calls across: “Hey! We have food for you!’

(Just what the fuck is this?)

I wait until the dad gets out, and politely ask: “What is this about?” He’s rebuffed every attempt I’ve made to get friendly, but now he walks over, smiling widely, and explains: “Our church just got a load of food from the supermarket – you know, stuff that’s expired – and we’ve just distributed most of it to the homeless, but we have some left! For you, and your son!”

Nice of them to be so considerate, I guess. So, OK – I’m not big on gardening, and my yard is a bit of a mess. I never go ballistic these days, but even with his son standing there, I go ballistic: “How much money do you make? Tell me!”

He gets coy, like all Americans when asked about money, but then rather proudly slips that he makes $60K, and would sincerely like to help me and my son out.

Me: “$60K – that’s almost 50 cents per minute. Well, whoop-de-fucking-doo!” I rustle in my pocket and hand him my latest paycheck stub, tell him to keep it, and bike away, hoping he doesn’t smell the beer on my breath.

So now he knows I make twice as much as him. But will it get me any respect? Not unless I clean up my yard and figure out some way to deal with the religious maniacs that populate this country.

Thank God for the ‘Brow...

This story would make A LOT more sense if I knew this guys race. I am guesses middle eastern by the “How much money do you make? Tell me!”..comments?

[Aegdaien]

Warning: Lowbrow is deadly addicting. It's like you try it once and pretty soon your finger is glued to F5 and you're not even reading them anymore.

Holy shit, that site is fucking gold. I just spent a half hour hitting F5.

[Jinheim]

You are watching porno naked in your house, where you live alone. Unbeknownst to you, a burglar has broken into your house thinking it is empty and walks into the room you are in. Your eyes both meet in shock at the same time.

Now picture that scenario. Let it sink in.


Do you try to cover up, or do you jump to your feet and attack?


Or if he runs, will you chase him, naked, throughout the house or get dressed first, giving him the few seconds he needs to get away?


Are you embarassed or indignant?


That my friend, is the essence of your character.

[Injektilo]

I know a guy who was best friends with this other real asshole in highschool.

They are hanging out like usual doing nothing and this guy falls asleep. The asshole gets a brilliant idea and grabs his camera, unzips his fly and takes a fucking close-up picture of his own dick suspended in the now open, sleeping mouth of his friend ( without waking him). As soon as the film is developed, the asshole mails the picture of the guy's recognizable mug with eyes closed and dick entering mouth to the guy's mother.

- jameson@itsmymachine.com

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

[Chaotic]

You know, it sucks to be the "funny, cynical guy". No one takes me serriously half the time. Hardly ever when I threaten some one's life. Yea... and it especially sucks when you're constantly hitting on a female friend, and she thinks you're just "joking around". I hate life, and I hate you all.

[bruza]

while discussing a funeral I attended for the father of a friend, someone asked, "was it a wake?"

"no, he was dead" i replied.

[Khalikryst]

Originally posted by Frawdo
Warning: Lowbrow is deadly addicting. It's like you try it once and pretty soon your finger is glued to F5 and you're not even reading them anymore.

Haha one of the first ones I saw today:

"Has anyone else just started clicking reload without actually reading the moment that comes up?

Addiction meets laziness.

- Boogilywoo@hotmail.com"

[bruza]

It was the break between high school and university and I had been drinking all night. I woke up around 8am with the usual predicament of urgently needing to take a slash. After realising someone was showering in the only bathroom, I made a beeline for the front door. Clumsily making my way through the survivors of the previous night's drinking laying scattered on the floor, and momentarily fumbling with the screen door lock, I was dangerously close to losing control of the situation.

I was a man driven, and had no time to take in my surroundings. Upon bursting from the door, I immediately grasped the closest telegraph pole like a long lost lover and burst forth with a stream of urine that freed both my spirit and my soul. At this point my stomach suddenly turned, and my athletic sprint to the door caught up with me. Discomfort turned to nausea, and nausea turned into painful dry retching. So there I am, dry retching against a telegraph pole, all the while urinating and each time I retch my abdominal muscles and forcing the urine out in a pulsing jet, spraying back against me and into oncoming traffic. Yes that's right, this was next to a six lane arterial road, currently abuzz with monday morning commuters.

When the fierce rage of my predicament finally subsided I had time to notice that everyone had come out to see what inhuman display was raising so many car horns in proud salute, and hear the gentle sound of children's laughter as they waited for their schoolbus mere metres away.

It was the greatest moment of my life.

[Chaotic]

I groped my dog, I wear glasses to cheat on tests and to stare at boobs but then I think I'm gay, I stared at my grandma the wrong way before but dont regret it, think about sex 24/7, I'm a 40 year old virgin living with young my sister and her scum bag boyfriend, I think I'm going to stalk a singer by the name of Edison Chen, heard of him? DAMN IM SUCH A GAY MAN

[Frawdo]

So i'm outside on the porch at a party, getting some fresh air. (A non-smoker can only take so much of an unventilated basement with 10 smokers) My roommate's girlfriend was sitting out on the porch, crying. I ask her what's up, she tells me that my roommate just broke up with her tonight. She's all broken up, she lost her virginity to him. (Poor girl, I know from many a story that my roommate is a really, really shitty lay.)

Story keeps going, turns out she wanted to stay a Techinical Virgin™ for when she got married, (she's an Oral Roberts University student, if you know what that school is, then this is even funnier) so he talked her into good old fashioned anal sex. She's been taking it in the ass like a trooper 3-4 nights a week for the whole 5-6 months they've been dating.

Two things floated across my mind during this conversation.

One, could anyone even think of calling themselves a virgin after spending 6 months giving a guy a blowjob, and then having him pound her in the ass?

Two, that's some serious dedication and love, taking it up the ass from a guy who couldn't fuck his way out of a paper bag. God knows that girl was sore alot of mornings. Not to mention I know from many of his other one night stands that he couldn't orally please a woman if his life depended on it.

So in the end, I'm gonna give her the Techinical Virgin™, because she never really had sex, she just made herself into a warm hole for him to jack off in. Poor girl is gonna spend the rest of the time she's single and unmarried thinking that's as good as sex gets

Dedication.