Masturbation

[brookesy]

Myth: Masturbation is a "Victimless Crime."
Reality: Theological experts on masturbation have come to the conclusion that masturbation is what is known as a "gateway" sin. This means that masturbation leads to more serious offenses. In fact, practically all rapists, Sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as Masturbators.

1. Does your teenager have acne? Masturbation often leads to excessive hormone production, which is the cause of acne. Very few teenagers who don't Masturbate have acne.
2. Is your teenager depressed? If a teenager acts sullen, withdrawn or unhappy the most likely cause is Chronic Masturbation.
3. Does your child lock his or her bedroom door? It is not healthy for a teen to want privacy. Chances are he or she is in there Masturbating!
4. Does your child listen to "Rock And Roll" music? If a teenager has rebelled against God far enough to listen to the Devil's music, then he or she has almost certainly rebelled enough to try Masturbation.
5. Are there semen stains on your son's bed sheets or underwear? There's only one way they could have gotten there! Line up all of your sons at least twice a day for a family Prayer Meeting and Underwear Check!
6. Does your teenager have Liberal political opinions? The weakness of mind brought on by Self-Abuse often leads to left-wing sympathies.
7. Does your child wear fashionable clothing or hairstyles? If your child can't resist the peer pressure to look a certain way, he or she probably can't resist the peer pressure to Masturbate, either.
8. Does your child look guilty or deny Masturbating? Very few teenagers will openly admit to Masturbating!
9. Have you caught your child Masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down holding his erect penis, he's probably Masturbating.


Funny i thought, taken from

http://blog.savecraig.com/archives/2004/08/index.html
http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/purity/index.asp


Seen it beofre ? Guess what, i dont care

[Ham n Cheese]

Originally posted by brookesy
It is not healthy for a teen to want privacy.

[brookesy]

Thought this one was pretty funny too.

7. Buy and use commercially available Anti-Masturbation devices. You can get one for your Boys by clicking here. President Bush has made it one of the goals of his Faith-Based Initiative to fund private Christian companies to develop an effective anti-Masturbation device for Girls.

[Element]

I fail every fucking one of those.

[Jeru]

Think of all the people that would be out there killing if it wasnt for the relief of rubbing one out!......... uh yea....

... and that white house link scared the piss out of me lol

[Israi]

This is joke site btw.

[Tortoise]

Isn't it whitehouse.gov?

[The Bog]

8. Does your child look guilty or deny Masturbating? Very few teenagers will openly admit to Masturbating!

I WANK!

[Millie]

Originally posted by brookesy
7. Does your child wear fashionable clothing or hairstyles? If your child can't resist the peer pressure to look a certain way, he or she probably can't resist the peer pressure to Masturbate, either.

LMAO. Peer pressure to masturbate?

[EnigmaticParadigm]

"Alrighty, Johnny, if you want to hang out with us jocks then we're going to need you to whip out you're a-game and start a friction fire."

[FanBuss]

9. Have you caught your child Masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down holding his erect penis, he's probably Masturbating.

Uh, probably...?

[Jinheim]

Originally posted by FanBuss
Uh, probably...?

Sometimes I just like to talk to it.

[Samus Aran]

6. Does your teenager have Liberal political opinions? The weakness of mind brought on by Self-Abuse often leads to left-wing sympathies.

If you vote Kerry, you're voting for a jack-off.

[xlurkerx]

I never understood the christian hatred for rock music. What about christian rock?

[James]

More importantly, Christian Deathmetal.