Where'd it go?

[Sukushi]

Once when I was younger, I was at my friends looking at playboys. I was kneeling on the floor looking at them. My friend had the sudden urge to wank it. Well he was standing up and doing his thing. I wasnt watching of coarse. Well his mom walks in, and I'm in my knees and hes wanking it standing up, and.....

[Sukushi]

This one makes me giggle kinda.

108788715

Last night when I was pumping my girlfriend up the ass, I broke up with her like 10 seconds before I came. I was fucking her, and I was like "Hey babe." and she was like "oohhhh oohh yeah?" and I was like "It's not working out, bitch. It's over. I'm dumping you." and she was like "oooooh! what!!" and then I came and filled her ass up, got up, got dressed, called her a filthy whore, and left. Ha ha ha, it was so awesome.

[sweetkastings]

Wow all i can say is wow.... and that was only the 1st page... im moving to europe screw this place.

[Magnum PI]

Way back when, when I was in sixth grade I went to a summer camp called Evergreen in Maryland. It was a great camp that I really loved and still love, and want to get a job there someday for the summer. Everyone at the summer camp had green bags except for me; I had a blue bag. The blue bags were really old, only campers who had been there years and years before had them, and I was one of the only who did.

Well, back when I was in summer camp years and years ago I found this big rubber penis in my dad's dresser. I figured it would be a smart idea for me to take it to summer camp and show all my friends. I brought it to summer camp and displayed it to all of my friends, they all thought it was funny. It was a big, hollow rubber penis with a strap on the back of it. We didn't really know what it was used for so we put it on our noses and pretended we were Pinocchio.

I was always picked up as one of the last kids at Evergreen because my parents worked late so there were only a few kids left when I got picked up. Lauren's mom came to pick up her daughter and went to get Lauren's bag from the pile when all of a sudden she saw a blue bag. She wondered what could possibly be in the blue bag so she opened it up and lo and behold, she found the rubber penis. She immediately took it to the head of the camp, Coach, and began complaining about it. I heard her screaming in the hallway and immediately though "Oh shit, she found it".

Soon Coach asked me what I was doing with the rubber penis so I began to cry and made up a lie; I told him it wasn't mine and I didn't know what it was. He looked at me straight in the eye and I swear to God, I'll never forget what he said. He said, "You know those rubber snakes you get at the fair? This isn't one of them." I went home later without them knowing, but he called me up later and told me he found out it was my dad's. I was only 10 or 11 so I began crying and confessed, telling him I had found the penis in my dad's handkerchief drawer.

They never gave the rubber penis back...
_________________________________________________

I can now die in peace.

[demadrid]

My family and I go to Virginia Beach every year in the summer. One particular summer we rented a beachhouse on a canal with a paddle boat.

I went out on the paddle boat one day with a loaf of bread to feed the ducks. I earned the trust of a family of ducks by feeding them bread. The got real close to me as I kept feeding them. Something about the way the mother duck looked at me disturbed me. I hit her over the hear with my paddle. It snapped her neck I think. The mother kept trying to right herself in the water but kept turning upsidedown and the baby ducks ran at first then tryed to come to help their mother. I felt so bad about killing the mother duck I killed two of the babies and tried to kill the rest. They swam away in different directions, their trust in me shattered like their family.

I didn't enjoy the rest of my vacation. I can still picture the mama duck's eyes looking at me in my mind, and it still disturbs me. This was 5 years ago.

[bruza]

Ahh yes, tomorrow I will have the most juciest sandwhich known to man. At least I hope I will. If I order the meal, it will definetly make it more ballsy, but the payout would be sweet. It's funny because almost everyone can tell how much I want that sandwhich. The origin of a sandwhich however, may not. Do you understand? The outcome could be so juicy, and I've had little to eat if you catch my drift. To bite into that victory, will be like such great justice. And what a sandwhich it will be, but what if it is not juicy at all like I need it to be? I could end up dissapointing myself. How could I even eat another sandwhich after that.

It's all about that question. When "do you want the meal" is said, you then quickly have to respond with "yes, but does it come with..."

[Mcpickle Deluxe]

Wow this thread is awesome.

[Chaotic]

973639187

allright, for those of you who know me, you can't think ANY less of me..i have to let this out.

I was working at a nursing home last year, and i had the job of helping the men with the sponge bathes, seeing as im a male myself. well the female bather got 'sick' (it had to be honeymoon) so after talking with a few of the elderly ladies, we desided that it would be allright to give a few of the more mature women the sponge bath. So as i was washing this woman ( i get paid for it allright?) she got really into it, and so did i...me being single for 3 years, we kind of let things get out of hang and ended up having full blown tub sex. APPARANTLY i didnt know this woman had a heart condition, and she died during intercourse. So, i was freaking out and the only thing that came to my mind was to dress her back up and leave her in her bed...and that i did. that poor woman made it 2 days in her bed without being found. ill never die happy.






I win?

[Templor]

holy fuck whatever bruza posted was funny as fuck about the sandwich and that last one is scary

keep them coming plz

[James]

Anyone know whatever happened to lowbrow.com?

[EnigmaticParadigm]

for Chaotic.

[Chaotic]

Thanks

[BoggiesSZ]

Originally posted by James
Anyone know whatever happened to lowbrow.com?

Hehe, it was taken down because they didn't wanna pay for it, but people donated to get it back up.

Also, it will give you an error if you just type lowbrow. You gotta put in the www.

www.lowbrow.com

[Templor]

The past three days I expirenced the worst possible excretions one could ever have when attempting to shit:

The first horrible shit was taken in my own bathroom, which is always a nice thing. Anyway, it was one of those shits where you'd push, and the only thing that'd come out is your own piss. So, I stood up, and attempted to pee, and a couple drops came out. "okay" I figured, I was dry. I sat down, pushed, and I pissed instead. It took me about 15 minutes to finish pissing, and then finally I was able to get rid of a pitifully small turd. What a waste of time.

The second time was the complete opposite, in a way. I had a large dinner after the piss-shit, and now I had to shit, hardcore. Once the inital 5-inch plug got through, I kept shitting, and shitting, and shitting. I couldn't get up, everything was coming out, and I got real scared. I though I was shitting my organs out, and I got this weird feeling in my belly, an awful feeling I can't describe. when the only thing coming out was my own goddamn saliva, I stood up, and wiped my ass, which was literally dripping with feces. The toilet looked like it was filled with brown cheese-puffs and coffee. I felt sick because there was nothing at all in my digestive tract. Of course, I gorged once again, only this time of breads and shit.

The next day, at about 4 I had to shit. Worst of all, this particular shit was an 'loss of anal virginity-sized shit.' the fucker felt spiky, it was hard, and wide as fuck. It was like being fucked by an eggplant. Worst of all, it was more of an inefficient ball, rather than pickle-shaped log, so it hurt like fuck, and didn't give me time to adjust before falling out into the toilet.

I wish I had a digital camera; I'dve taken pictures of all three so whoever reads this can see my shits in full color. I hope tomorow's shit isnt any worse.

[Magnum PI]

Originally posted by demadrid
My family and I go to Virginia Beach every year in the summer. One particular summer we rented a beachhouse on a canal with a paddle boat.

I went out on the paddle boat one day with a loaf of bread to feed the ducks. I earned the trust of a family of ducks by feeding them bread. The got real close to me as I kept feeding them. Something about the way the mother duck looked at me disturbed me. I hit her over the hear with my paddle. It snapped her neck I think. The mother kept trying to right herself in the water but kept turning upsidedown and the baby ducks ran at first then tryed to come to help their mother. I felt so bad about killing the mother duck I killed two of the babies and tried to kill the rest. They swam away in different directions, their trust in me shattered like their family.

I didn't enjoy the rest of my vacation. I can still picture the mama duck's eyes looking at me in my mind, and it still disturbs me. This was 5 years ago.

If this is true, this fucker needs to die. Just a matter of time before he starts on people.