National Association for Fat Fucks

[Digo]

This is most unintentionally funny website I have EVER seen. I have an upper management spot in hell reserved for me now, since I'm posting this here for the consumption of the SS forum hyenas.

http://www.naafa.org/

Example of why this site is internet comedy gold:

First, I tried to train myself to have bowel movements early in the morning before going to work or out and/or late in the evening after work or being out because dealing with this situation at home is a lot easier.

Second, at home I have certain items I use (I also take these items and a few ziplock plastic bags to enclose the items in with me when I travel). The items are a long handle bath brush and a hand towel. The bath brush is about 13 inches long from tip to tip and made of some kind of sturdy hard rubber or plastic. The cotton terry hand towel is longer than the brush. I wet the hand towel with warm water. Then I wring the excess water from the towel and drape the towel over the side of the brush long way from tip to tip with the excess length of the towel hanging over the brush end of the brush. The brush end acts like Velcro to help hold that end of the towel in place while my hand holds the other end of the towel that is extending down the handle of the brush in place when I do the push and pull action to clean myself.

Now that my cleaning items are ready, I stand up and place one foot up on the edge of the tub or on the toilet. The Higher the better because the higher the more the spread of things if you get my meaning. I then bend forward and things begin to swing freely and spread more. My belly that can be really big an heavy because of fluid at times swings away from my body and to the side giving a clear path through the front of my legs to the back to do what cleaning I need to do. And, my cleaning items give me the reach I need. With the brush turned side way (the bristles of the brush under the towel facing my left or right inner thigh) I do the push and pull action through the cheeks of my buttock. I am careful not to pull too far foward to prevent getting any waste in the vaginal area which can cause an infection (guys don not have to worry much about this). I rinse/wash my towel and do a second pass and a third or more if needed, and I am clean in that area. I rinse/wash my towel and it is ready for my next use. I use this method using soap and water even before showering because it gives me better access to that area for cleaning than I can get while I am in the tub/shower.

Third, there are times you just have to go when you are not at home. It happens to me so it is a good thing my Higher Power gave me guidance to devise another method of cleaning myself. I devised this method a few years back when the managers of the corporation I worked for highly suggested I check myself into a 12-step eating disorder facility for 30 days they had found for me in Florida or else... At the facility my at home items and method would not work for me because there was no tub or sink in the room with the toilet. What to do! What to do! I got acquainted with that fear of being embarrassed or feeling totally stupid you talk about, Toby. Moreover, I had to break through that fear because even though I had cleaned myself out before the trip, it was only a matter of time and I would have to go. Therefore, I explained my reach and cleaning problem to a nurse. The nurse ordered me a device from some product catalog, and it absolutely did not solve my problem, I could not muster up anything to help me go back to that nurse and tell her I still had the problem. So, what to do! What to do! Another method was born. I believe I will call it the Forida method. The item I used in Florida was a bath towel.

[Samus Aran]

NAAFA is disgusting. Encouraging people to be unhealthy is abominable.

[EQ2sucks]

Wow that's sick. How about you just exercise some and cut back on what you eat instead of divising methods to clean your shit out of your ass since you can't reach it because you're so fat.

Man, wtf...

[masteen]

I suck at posting shit...

[Stroker Ace]

Hahaha, they have a petition because they have to pay for two plane tickets because their fat asses can't sit in one seat.



Fa Tasses.

[Samus Aran]

It only makes logical sense. If you take up that much room, that's how much you should pay for.

Originally posted by Samus Aran
It only makes logical sense. If you take up that much room, that's how much you should pay for.

A-fuggin-men! (Amen!)

I agree 100% there.

Lets have this argument, but lets leave size/weight out of it.

Person walks into Burger King, orders 10 burgers, pays for 10 burgers.

Person hires tailor to make 4x-Large clothing, because Old Navy pants are too small.

Person uses 100 gallons in the shower, and pays for the water used.

Person buys one ticket, entitling them to a seat on an airline, pays for the ticket.

Now, using Fat Fuck Logic ...

Person should only have to pay for 1 burger, other 9 are free because they are obese? Wrong!

Person should only pay tailor cost of normal sized Old Navy pants because they are obese? Wrong!

Person should only have to pay for 20 gallons of water because they are obese? Wrong!

Point here is that you should pay for what you use! Period!
If you use 100 gallons, pay for it! If you use 2 seats on a plane, pay for it!

I'm serious about this not being a fat person issue, the same logic applies in these case I have experienced ...

Me and my Fiance go into a mexican restaraunt and order their huge salad, we split it because we arent that hungry Place charges us 2.00 to split the meal. Bullshit!

I order a cheese crisp, they bring out 2 plates, we dont get charged for splittin it.

Simple logic here ... pay for what you use! Period.

/rant off.

... Bonzai

Ps. I've avoided the whole "handicapped" issue that some obese folks are entitled due to physical defects etc. That's a different form of compensation you get at tax time.

[Anarchy]

Woot convention!

http://pages.prodigy.net/rarebird/NA...01/Convpg1.htm

[CeNo65]

sublink from anarchys link, but i think it should go in the City of Heros screen cap thread!

[Samus Aran]

All these demands go back to fat people wanting dignity. To them, it is undignified to be fat enough to need two chairs, but nobody can do anything about that but them. So much easier to blame, and create petitions, and get together for a big convention, and pat one another on the back, and call one another beautiful...

...whatever.

I believe everyone deserves dignity. The airline should charge for the exact services rendered, and as long as the airline doesn't say, "That'll be our normal charge for two seats, you fat fuck," I think it's fine.

EDIT: I probably should have said that everyone deserves politeness. Then again, that was before I saw the convention pictures page.

[Samus Aran]

Someone photoshop this face on Searyx.

[Goanad]

Person walks into Burger King, orders 10 burgers, pays for 10 burgers.

LOL, I think the fact that they are ordering TEN is part of the problem here!

[Ham n Cheese]

Bonzai seriously shut the fuck up. I'm not obese nor do I know anyone of that size (besides a friends friend mother), and I agree that they should pay for the seats on an airplane they take up (although the seats are pretty close together and it's been a while since I was on a packed flight, maybe they should have to pay for 2 and be refunded for one if the flight has vacancies). Anyway, that's not why I said what I said, it was the rest of your post. You assume (even if jokingly) because there are fat people who don't want to pay for an extra seat in an airplane, that they don't want to pay for any other resources extra they use, and that's already assuming EVERY obese person is pissed about the extra seat bill. It's most likely just the way you put it, but it seriously makes me look at you as a douchebag.

I guess I should assume that because you visit a video game message board you're overweight, most likely wear glasses, live at home and fuck your pillow at night because you're turning 30 next year and still havn't found a woman to insert your cocktail weenie into.

Stereotypes piss me off.

[Samus Aran]

I don't think he's stereotyping fat people. Just the ones who join these organizations and demand shit instead of taking responsibility.

[masteen]

That site is a testament to the validity of some stereotypes.