Thott's Latest Page Update...

[Jekan]

Reading AL's frontpage, I couldn't help but notice some things. For one, Thott's command of descriptive language and metaphor is truly daunting. His masterful "Snowman vs. The Volcano" discourse left my heart pounding and my mind racing with dramatic imagery. His tableau inspired flashes of Nestea commercials in unholy union with popular animated holiday films. Overall, the effect was akin to listening to your father trying to incorporate "cool" sayings into his speech. To be fair, however, the update contained many valuable points, analyzed as follows:

1) Hungry tigers are happy in shopping malls...This one could swing a few ways. Historically, hungry tigers preying on humans relates to gladiatorial events and the persecution of Christians. Perhaps Thott would like to see a little of that today? On the other hand, perhaps he simply means that hungry tigers in a mall would soon locate the food court.

2) AL killed Tormax, whereas guilds exist who could not kill Tormax. This bold revelation takes AL dominance to an unprecedented level.

3) AL tried to kill the Cursed but didn't get there before those idiots went and made him killable. When they did manage to kill the "weakened" version first, they rather proudly touted the fact

4) If you make snowmen this winter, keep them away from res sticks or sharp obejcts, lest a hoard arise, as detailed, and turn on you. Should this happen, however, rest assured that they can be stopped with Rallos Zek's secret weapon...

5) GUSHERS!...That's right. The God of War weilds none other than the chewy snack with the fruity center. This discovery is one of despair. Perhaps there was hope against mighty GUSHES of lava, but faced with gushers...the world weeps.

6) While they work on fixing it, the designers have left a memo that appears when you start the Rallos encounter informing you that it is bugged. We know this, because Thott, being the ordinary, straight-laced, takes-it-as-he-finds-it guy that he is, would have no other way of knowing so on with the confidence he appears to, based on the 7.6 trillion references made in his update to how bugged the encounter is.

7) While not enjoying a good romp in Drunder, Thott apparently enjoys a good romp in other dark, black armor clad places. He cues us in on this as he describes how his profanity was so vulgar that even his love-sailors who were lounging about the room took notice.

8) After studying the final screenshot, the secret to the entire encounter is clear. Rallos Zek's incredibly large breasts imply that he is in fact a she, and to be successful, an assault must be timed to coincide with her somewhat debilitating natural functions.

We should thank Thott for opening our minds in such a fashion, and encourage him to keep up the good work. Slaps on the ass are reccommended only for those who wish to iniate the mating process. Finally, we should all look up to those who share with us the inspiring story of how they lost to the impossible.

[Varulv]

And the Pulitzer goes to Jekan...
Or atleast will soon if you perfect your asskissing just a wee bit more and continue to write.

I am getting mightily tired of the "best" guilds mudflinging.

Instead of tooting about thier accomplishments, which I do enjoy reading, they go on about how sucky everyone else is.

Sure, make developers aware of bugs, flag problems and so.
Good info, crowd is happy.

But don't go cry beta info's, we did it before he got so weak and blaha blaha as soon as another guild makes it somewhere before you do.

I think very few care about that, and it just looks pathetic.

Varulv
Ayonae Ro
Landslide (No we are not in the Uberguild race)

[Frelance]

I care, and so do you, poser. The grandstanding and dickswinging is just a distraction, but don't pretend you're above being a fanboi at times, in a post on another guild's website, on a server that isn't even your own. Check out the footing your pedestal is on, it's a bit wobbly. Then sit back and enjoy the show; bring marshmallows, it gets warm in here sometimes

[Sihriel]

I swear I've already read this style of writing, taking sentences one by one and trying to write witty pwnage with them ...
My, of course.

Noonie ! Welcome back honey !


edit : I <3 Ortho

[Varulv]

Sure I am a fanboi I guess.

I read/check LoS, FoH, AL, Triton HP's almost on a daily basis.

I do care if someone kills Rallos, that's a neat thing.
I don't care one bit for someone who cry each time some other guild gets something before his, or gets something easier then it was for them.

Bohooo someone got to 65 before a certain guy. OMG THE BETA TOKENS! So unfair.

We almost killed the unkillable bla bla, well grats nice accomplishment but you said it yourself he was almost unkillable, thus he SHOULD be made easier.

If people wanna cry serverfirst weeee(yes this and this guild did it before us, but they had beta info) so be it. Not like I matter or can say anything about it but on the other hand I would probably have liked the homepage update more without the sobbing...

And again... Who cares what I say...

[Eager Val'Sharess]

This has been gone over many times, and obviously the people who are involved care. They put forth a tremendous amount of time from their rl to achieve certain goals in game. When these goals that should be hard to attain are just given out, it is somewhat ridiculous.

When I was beta testing eq, I -paid- for that. I was happy to see the game before others, and so should beta testers of individual expansions.

[Sihriel]

They got tokens and l33t info, but in the meantime FoH was farming Emperor Crush and they couldn't, so let's call it a tie.

[aakla]

Who got to 65 first using beta tokens.

who, got to 65 first had a personal intrest for me. no he didnt use beta tokens he is just an insane power leveler, anyways.

Drexen (use to be in my guild) beat another certain high profile player to lvl 60 by meer hours and that "certain high profile player" was none to pleased about losing 60 to drexen. then seening drexen get 65 first, a day before the "certain high profile player" to me was classic.

not taking anyting away from "certain high profile player" I take my hats off to you and your acomplishments.

*wave*

P.S. Wipe to HP 2nd boss 50 times then prep for AoE woot hehe

[NightKid]

Woot the race for levels. Also known as who has access to more accounts to help powerlevel him and who can get the least amount of sleep in a few days and convince others to take shifts playing his character. Definitely something to be proud of!