Pooping

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I wish I was a robot and never had to poop.

[Zordak Ragefire]

I am typing this post out while on the toilet. True story.

I like taking my time when on the toilet. I try to make sure my bowels are completely emptied.

[spronk]

reading while taking a shit is a wonderful, relaxing thing. plus women almost universally disapprove so you know its gotta be right. i keep 3-4 magazines in the toilet my wife has set aside for me, and every morning after a few sips of water I enjoy a 10 minute poop + read.

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My current company contract they really wanted me to work for them badly so I made all these crazy demands just to see what I could get away with.

One of the demands was they had to install an executive style bathroom with a shower and one of those crazy Jap toilets that talks to you and pretty much gives you a BJ and makes you a sandwich while on the crapper.

I was joking of course,but the first day I walked into work ,went into my private office and there it was,private bathroom and all.

So I try to do all my crapping during work in my little piece of heaven.

[manslayer]

What about an option for on women's chests?!?!?1

[PerritoBites]

I probably take more time wiping than taking the shit itself... unless it is one of "those" days.

[Eomer]

Typically I'm in and out in a couple minutes if I've got something to do. However if I have a magazine handy, I'll stretch it out a couple more minutes. I just find that my feet go numb super fast with most toilets.

Off topic, but lately I've been finding that my shits have been mammoth. I've been eating more fruits and veggies and more whole grain stuff, so maybe that's part of it. But I'd say in the past month I've been plugging my toilet, with shit only, about 25% of the time. Granted my toilet's never been the best flushing, but it's getting annoying.

[runcade]

I am done in about a minute generally. The only times it takes longer is after the extremely hot sauce at Qdoba. That stuff makes your asshole burn and you can't feel if you are done or not.

[Zarniwoop]

The greatest thing about having kids was discovering the joy of baby wipes.....really nice for that final polishing after toilet paper.

[Squallie1]

Typically unless I have the "sickness" I try to get out of the room as fast as possible... All the ethnic food I eat tends to leave a foul odor I would rather not stick around for...

[column]

Originally Posted by Zarniwoop

The greatest thing about having kids was discovering the joy of baby wipes.....really nice for that final polishing after toilet paper.

Do you carry those around in your purse!

[Horse]

At work it generally takes me about 45 minutes to shit.


Nobody can open the stall door and bust you for playing Nintendo DS. But it is awkward playing any game that requires blowing into the mic.

[Digits]

I enjoyed camping named in eq if I was in a cool dungeon, and I could hop around all the fun little naunces and just have the entire place to myself. That's the same way I deal with shitting. I will gladly spend 20 minutes in that tiled dungeon, bathrooms are mostly styled ala Kedge Keep after all, if I have it to myself. If there is anyone else interested in coming in or using a urinal I will get pissed off and frustrated. I'll only spend 5 minutes with company or a line, but can spend a long time just leaning back and appreciate the solitude of my shit and I.

For clarification, I'm not shitting. I'm generally done with that in 2-3 minutes if I've been eating healthy. I just like lazing around.

[nosf]

It depends entirely on what I've been eating. There are times when I'll drop a full 360 degree coil and do some power wiping and I'm out in a couple minutes.

Other times...after fast food...well, the less said the better. And christ, the wiping never seems to end.

[JeydaX]

Originally Posted by spronk

reading while taking a shit is a wonderful, relaxing thing. plus women almost universally disapprove so you know its gotta be right. i keep 3-4 magazines in the toilet my wife has set aside for me, and every morning after a few sips of water I enjoy a 10 minute poop + read.

Bud... the toilets today aren't worthy of the name! They come in designer colors... they're too low! When you flush them, they make this weak, almost apologetic sound. But not the Ferguson. It only comes in white. And when you flush it... BaaaWOOOSH! That's a man's flush, Bud. A Ferguson says, "I'm a toilet. Sit down and give me your best shot." Oh, if only a Ferguson could speak, the tales it would tell! - Al Bundy

Long live Al Bundy.