Logic Trap? - LONG - Bathroom use and hand washing

[Radahr Manasponge]

I just got into a colorful discussion with a co-worker. He's a typical pussy metro guido, and easily cowed, and thus was spanked down quickly. However, the debate brought something of a logic-trap to my mind, and I've been kind of marvelling at its' silent acceptance into society as a whole. Thus, I bring it up here for discussion.

Let me further preface my commentary:

As some may recall from previous discussions, I fix things. I literally have a car-full of various and sundry power tools, hand-made doohickeys, whatchamacallits, dongles, cables, and assorted other shit that is a mishmash of about 12 different professions of fixer. I am frequently under desks, above ceilings, inside walls, in wiring closets, and occassionaly in more exotic locales like rooftops and sewers. I find problems and correct them, and I get physically dirty a LOT in my day-to-day life. Even if I were 'just' in I.T., I'd be washing my hands a lot...have you ever really looked at how disgusting the average slack-jawed cubejockey's keyboard/mouse/phone? Words fail me. But I digress...

Anyhow, I usually end up 'scrubbing up' 5 to 10 times a day. I get into some pretty funky shit, and my hectic schedule usually dictates that the food I bring in to eat while I run around is portable and usually eaten with my hands...fruits and veggies, sammiches, etc. I rarely get the chance to sit down and eat lunch per se, so I grab a handful of something from a container on my desk as I pass by. It usually takes me about 3 hours to 'eat my lunch'.

Now we come to the crux of the argument. The sink in the shitter at my office is broken right now, so when you hit the head, you gotta stop in the kitchen and use the sink there to wash your hands. Some of the guys were eating their lunches at the table (five feet from the kitchen sink, about 12 feet from the shitter door); I walked up, scrubbed my hands down a couple times (I had just pulled CAT5 in the server room ceiling and adjoining wall, so I was up to my elbows in plaster dust) and headed into the bathroom. Closed door. Pissed. Tucked in/zipped up. Opened door. Walked past the table to my office (about 8 feet on the OTHER side of kitchen table). Grabbed a handful of assorted veggies from my cooler and started munching as I went back towards the server room.

The guido in question said something about washing my hands after taking a leak. Here is where things got a bit...contested.

I said to him, "Gee, I figured out how to piss without dousing myself by the time I was about 4 years old. Haven't you figured that one out yet?"

Lots of snickers.

He countered with, "But your hands are dirty!"

"No, I washed them right before I grabbed my dick. ANd since I bathe regularly, and put on clean clothes regularly, and DON'T stick my dick in icky things in between, my hands are not 'dirtied' simply by holding my johnson to aim. Where are you putting YOUR cock that its' so filthy that a mere touch contaminates your hand? Or is it the bathing and clean clothes part that eludes you?"

Lots of laughing and pointing ensued at this point.

Anyhow, he was 100% certain that one must, under ALL circumstances, wash one's hands immediately after using the bathroom. He seemed unable to grok the possibility that some people are:

a.) able to shit/piss without covering ourselves or our clothing in said bodily wastes
b.) have genitals that are not so dirty that they will contaminate whatever comes in contact with them instantly
c.) urine is sterile, haven't you been watching 'House'?

Once the laughter died down, *every single person in the lunchroom* put forth that they, too, felt they 'should' wash their hands after as well. They looked around at each other and just ... blinked silently a lot.

I know my hands get icky. That's why I wash them BEFORE I hit the restroom...I don't want dust/dirt/grease/grime/whatever going from my dirty hands to my clean dick. And, since I figured out how to piss or shit without getting it all over the place a LONG time ago, I don't really see a logical reason to wash them again. I know that, as my grandma once said, "No matter how much you wiggle and dance the last two drops always go in your pants", but...well, see point C above for starters, and even if that WEREN'T the case, I don't touch that part of my underwear when pissing anyhow!

Yet this illogical idea of having to wash one's hands after going to the bathroom seems deeply and unquestionably ingrained into our collective heads!

Discuss.

[Vehn]

well I doubt most people wash their hands BEFORE going to the bathroom, thus washing after going to the bathroom covers both areas

[x1hundredregrets]

Fuck me, not this bullshit again.

[Darus Grey]

Your dick is touching your entire body all the time! UNCLEAN!

[Tuco]

Sounds like someone lost an argument and looked foolish and dirty in front of a group of people, so they made a post that painted the history different than how it occured in an effort to balance out the shame of the event by talking shit about the people involved!

/endjerkpost

I'm a particularly dirty person, but I think it's a good idea to wash your hands after everytime you use the restroom if only for the reason that it promotes regular washing of your hands and is a conveinent way to regularly do it.

I also think that washing your hands after using the restroom is good just because if everyone does it, you don't have to worry about whether or not someone is good at not pissing themselves, because even if they do scat-play in the restroom if they wash their hands it doesn't matter that much.

[chaos]

It's the idea that you are touching your dick and then touching other people, or things that other people will touch. That's why people are so anal about it. It never made sense to me either, I'm willing to bet on any given day my dick is way cleaner than my hands. Basically it's "eww that's gay" crowd stressing over proximity to another man's junk.

[Radahr Manasponge]

Originally Posted by Vehn

well I doubt most people wash their hands BEFORE going to the bathroom, thus washing after going to the bathroom covers both areas

Kinda the point I think. Would be washing your hands AFTER getting dirt/grime/germs/whatever all over your junk kinda be closing the barn door after the horse has fled? Also seems illogical to me.

[Radahr Manasponge]

Originally Posted by x1hundredregrets

Fuck me, not this bullshit again.

?


What do you mean 'again'? I poked around and did a couple searches and didn't see anything...was this covered some time already and I missed it?

[Moontayle]

The circular logic is that washing your hands in the bathroom is useless anyways because touching the door handle on your way out is subjecting yourself to the germs of god knows how many people who may or may not have washed their own hands before touching said door handle.

[TheCutlery]

Originally Posted by Radahr Manasponge

Kinda the point I think. Would be washing your hands AFTER getting dirt/grime/germs/whatever all over your junk kinda be closing the barn door after the horse has fled? Also seems illogical to me.

I used to date a chick in high school who's mom was a deputy at the county jail.

She said she had the only workplace in the world where you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.

Seems to make sense. I dunno. If I'm at work, I wash my hands after I piss, but mostly because I only take a leak before I drive somewhere else, and I have more respect for my truck than to be sitting in there driving with the accumulated dirt on my hands. If I'm sitting around at home, nah. I figured out how not to piss myself many years ago.

Kinda like the old joke with the Harvard + Yale guys in the bathroom, taking a leak, Yale guy gets done and goes to walk out, Harvard guy goes "At Hahvahd, we learn to wash our hands after we urinate" and the Yale guy goes "Well, at Yale they taught us not to piss on our hands." I reckon you can replace the college names with whatever you want, point still stands.

Now, if you're taking a shit, I'd agree with the washing the hands part, but mostly because of a Loveline segment I remember from years ago where Adam was asking everyone what hand they wiped their ass with. The shocking majority of people wipe with their right hand, even if they're left handed. This of course brought Adam to come up with "Hey, can we do away with using the same hand to shake hands as the one we wipe our ass with?"

Try thinking about THAT next time you gotta meet people at the office christmas party.

[Josh]

Well whatever.........I get off on pissing and shitting all over my hands and rubbing door handles and what not.

[Sharmai]

Piss inside the bladder is one of if not the most sterile place in the body. however when coming out in the urethra there is a massive fuckton of biological crap that it collects till it comes out into the toilet.

Now the good news is that your skin works to kill disease and other biological containments so if your penis was dry and not sweaty and you didn't get any piss on you then likely you and everyone else is fine.

If you have or had sweaty balls then you have a bio-factory down there. (Ever wonder why your balls smell? Its a bacteria feeding off your sweat down there)


HOWEVER the guys should be even LESS worried about your hands because you washed your hands in one of the dirtiest biological places there are, the kitchen sink. In fact the kitchen sink is often dirtier then the bathroom sink.

(Most of this I remember from Bio class in college)

[Soriak]

Use toilet paper when you're aiming, problem solved.

[Millie]

Hey, here's a wild idea: how about deciding not to be lazy and just washing your hands after using the bathroom? :P It takes, what, 20 seconds out of your day?

I don't care if your various bodily orifices are the cleanest things known to humanity; presumably, your hands are coming into contact with a lot of surfaces in a public restroom that are not. These include the door handles, the flusher on the toilet (you do flush, don't you?), etc. Just wash your damned hands after you're done touching these things.

Washing your hands after using the bathroom is not one of those things in life that's negotiable, like washing your hair every morning, or brushing your teeth after every single meal. It's just something you should do.

I’m sure the people whose office equipment you handle all day will be glad to hear you’re extending them this basic courtesy.

[Screamfeeder]

Originally Posted by Millie

...washing your hair every morning...

Woah, woah, woah Grandma....I was with you until this shit.