To anyone who knows Tortoise - Page 4

gn0me · 11-11-2002, 02:40 PM

Hmm, death from OD on water sounds fun:

Quote:

==Water
Dosage: 14 litres mentioned
Time: 12 hours or so?
Available: always available
Certainty: unknown
Notes: works by washing out the salts in your body, until the cells
fail (osmotic balance buggered up). You need to keep drinking
continually until you collapse. Unusual method. Someone suggested it
would also cause cramps. The following is something from [2]:
"About a year ago a local newspaper carried a story about a
woman who had drunk herself to death. Apparently she had ingested
something mildly poisonous, and when she called her doctor asking him
what to do, he told her to drink lots of water and see him in the
morning. She got to it and managed to drink no less than 14 litres of
water before the osmotic balance in her body was so upset it could no
longer function and she died (don't know how quickly)".

Try that one, Tortoise.

Tortoise · 11-11-2002, 04:34 PM

Gnome, I actually did attempt that.

At two ml I decided to try something else.

It is a LOT of water.

Tortoise · 11-11-2002, 04:34 PM

ml = l, used to ml from Biology class. L being one of those big coke/soda bottles.

Gamblor · 11-11-2002, 05:42 PM

Less talking, more offing yourself.

Blackdoom · 11-11-2002, 09:14 PM

gamblor that hit the spot

Araysar · 11-11-2002, 09:31 PM

Like someone else said, if you think getting a 65 in English is suicide worthy, you know nothing about life. Just go to summer school and you'll pass. Boo hoo.

And stop playing that gay ass Graal game.

P.S. Hey, it could be much worse, look at this dude
http://www.skylab.org/~plumpy/rick/r.../personal.html

Nikkohung You · 11-11-2002, 10:45 PM

best way to comit suicide i think would be jumping off a building, atleast you wouldnt feel it, or shooting yourself with a very high caliber weapon as to allow the most effect with the least amount of pain, and always ALWAYS bring some one down with you- also make damn sure you did everything you wanted to in life before you do something stupid like suicide, you only get one chance

Blackdoom · 11-12-2002, 06:43 AM

...the people you kill in this life become your slaves in the after-life?

so `337 · 11-12-2002, 05:33 PM

just kill yourself and get it over with

so `337 · 11-12-2002, 05:38 PM

Just do it. It's not like someone would miss you or anything. You suck. Face it. No one wants you around here. I mean, come on, if you think a 65 on an english grade and some PMSing flat chested 14 yr old bitch doesn't like you makes you want to commit suicide, just do it. It'll make the world one less retard happier. Read this post, and do the following steps:

1) get every single pill/chemical/makeup thing in your bathroom, pour it/crush it all up, pour it in insecticide, and chug it.
2) get every single bottle of whatever you have for cleaning things under the sink and chug it all.
3) take some nyquill, and go to sleep.

Ecksi · 11-13-2002, 12:04 AM

Seriously, this "Just kill yourself" shit is getting a little old. I mean, fuck... at least be creative or something. Here, I'll help you along...

Tortoise creeped up the cheaply carpited staircase that led to the upper portion of the house. He felt like a lion, closing in on his unsuspecting prey with leathal precision. The closer he got, the more the rain drops hitting the roof drowned out his furious heartbeat. Half of him was scared, the other half... excited. Reaching the final step, he could hear a young familiar voice chatting away on the phone, the light from her room cast upon the thin uncomfortable carpet firmly caught his attention.

"She deserves it," he thought to himself, pulling out two 12-gauge shells from his bloodsoaked pocket. He carefully loaded them into the shotgun, and remained emotionless.

Feeling a rush of courage, he charges her room, expecting to hear her scream, but instead finds the teenager listening to her headphones on one ear; the other ear is a flower decorated wireless telephone.

"I wish I still had my instrument, she needs proper attention," thinking to himself. The blade broke off in thier dogs ribcage when he tried to twist it.

He crawled on her bed, and placed the shotgun on her back, with the barrel only milimetres from her beautiful head, hand still firmly wrapped around the handle.

"Dad?" she asked, and begun to spin around, but before she could speak another word, they looked eachother in the eyes. She was horrified. She knew what he wanted. Lucky for her, he only desired lovers after expiration.

"Like a pumpkin that has been hit with a baseball bat," he said to himself, as he wiped away brain fragments from his sweater. Her headless body looked sleek and sexy. His organ swelled with blood, "You will make a fine girlfriend..."

--

Hours later, partially naked, lying next to her cold and ravaged body, Tortise began to weep. The crying slowly turned to laughter as he grabbed the gore covered shotgun, and stormed down the hallway into the bathroom.

--

The bodies were found weeks later, and the neighboors, in police interviews, remember hearing two loud noises and at the time, easily dismissed them as thunder.

findar · 11-13-2002, 01:00 AM

ecksi... your humor is beyond most comprehension... i heart you

Tortoise · 11-13-2002, 05:25 PM

That was unbearably funny. I was laughing so hard I didn't feel the onslaught of pwn unleashed upon me ;x

11-11-2002, 04:34 PM	#47 (permalink)
Tortoise Retired FOH board troll of the ancient era Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 523 +1 Internets	Gnome, I actually did attempt that. At two ml I decided to try something else. It is a LOT of water. __________________ TORTOISE ELDER SQUIRTLE LEVEL 48 PALADIN WIELDER OF THE FIERY AVENGER

11-11-2002, 04:34 PM	#48 (permalink)
Tortoise Retired FOH board troll of the ancient era Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 523 +1 Internets	ml = l, used to ml from Biology class. L being one of those big coke/soda bottles. __________________ TORTOISE ELDER SQUIRTLE LEVEL 48 PALADIN WIELDER OF THE FIERY AVENGER

11-12-2002, 06:43 AM	#53 (permalink)
Blackdoom team vkuruv Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: no uncle timmy, i don't wanna play this game anymore Posts: 151 -1 Internets	is it true that ...the people you kill in this life become your slaves in the after-life?

11-12-2002, 05:33 PM	#54 (permalink)
so `337 Banned Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 50 +0 Internets	n00b just kill yourself and get it over with

11-13-2002, 12:04 AM	#56 (permalink)
Ecksi Banned Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 63 +0 Internets	Seriously, this "Just kill yourself" shit is getting a little old. I mean, fuck... at least be creative or something. Here, I'll help you along... Tortoise creeped up the cheaply carpited staircase that led to the upper portion of the house. He felt like a lion, closing in on his unsuspecting prey with leathal precision. The closer he got, the more the rain drops hitting the roof drowned out his furious heartbeat. Half of him was scared, the other half... excited. Reaching the final step, he could hear a young familiar voice chatting away on the phone, the light from her room cast upon the thin uncomfortable carpet firmly caught his attention. "She deserves it," he thought to himself, pulling out two 12-gauge shells from his bloodsoaked pocket. He carefully loaded them into the shotgun, and remained emotionless. Feeling a rush of courage, he charges her room, expecting to hear her scream, but instead finds the teenager listening to her headphones on one ear; the other ear is a flower decorated wireless telephone. "I wish I still had my instrument, she needs proper attention," thinking to himself. The blade broke off in thier dogs ribcage when he tried to twist it. He crawled on her bed, and placed the shotgun on her back, with the barrel only milimetres from her beautiful head, hand still firmly wrapped around the handle. "Dad?" she asked, and begun to spin around, but before she could speak another word, they looked eachother in the eyes. She was horrified. She knew what he wanted. Lucky for her, he only desired lovers after expiration. "Like a pumpkin that has been hit with a baseball bat," he said to himself, as he wiped away brain fragments from his sweater. Her headless body looked sleek and sexy. His organ swelled with blood, "You will make a fine girlfriend..." -- Hours later, partially naked, lying next to her cold and ravaged body, Tortise began to weep. The crying slowly turned to laughter as he grabbed the gore covered shotgun, and stormed down the hallway into the bathroom. -- The bodies were found weeks later, and the neighboors, in police interviews, remember hearing two loud noises and at the time, easily dismissed them as thunder. Attached Images

11-11-2002, 05:42 PM	#49 (permalink)
Gamblor Rocket Powered Robocop Jesus Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 556 -1 Internets	Less talking, more offing yourself.

11-11-2002, 09:14 PM	#50 (permalink)
Blackdoom team vkuruv Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: no uncle timmy, i don't wanna play this game anymore Posts: 151 -1 Internets	gamblor that hit the spot

11-11-2002, 09:31 PM	#51 (permalink)
Araysar Registered User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 255 -5 Internets	Like someone else said, if you think getting a 65 in English is suicide worthy, you know nothing about life. Just go to summer school and you'll pass. Boo hoo. And stop playing that gay ass Graal game. P.S. Hey, it could be much worse, look at this dude http://www.skylab.org/~plumpy/rick/r.../personal.html

11-12-2002, 05:38 PM	#55 (permalink)
so `337 Banned Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 50 +0 Internets	Just do it. It's not like someone would miss you or anything. You suck. Face it. No one wants you around here. I mean, come on, if you think a 65 on an english grade and some PMSing flat chested 14 yr old bitch doesn't like you makes you want to commit suicide, just do it. It'll make the world one less retard happier. Read this post, and do the following steps: 1) get every single pill/chemical/makeup thing in your bathroom, pour it/crush it all up, pour it in insecticide, and chug it. 2) get every single bottle of whatever you have for cleaning things under the sink and chug it all. 3) take some nyquill, and go to sleep.

11-13-2002, 01:00 AM	#57 (permalink)
findar Registered User Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 3,321 -2 Internets	ecksi... your humor is beyond most comprehension... i heart you __________________ -its clobbering time

11-13-2002, 05:25 PM	#58 (permalink)
Tortoise Retired FOH board troll of the ancient era Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 523 +1 Internets	That was unbearably funny. I was laughing so hard I didn't feel the onslaught of pwn unleashed upon me ;x __________________ TORTOISE ELDER SQUIRTLE LEVEL 48 PALADIN WIELDER OF THE FIERY AVENGER

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