Need help knocking up a broad

kegkilla · 05-03-2007, 11:23 AM

so i've got a shot with this broad whos from a real rich fam, i'm talkin a few houses worth at least 10 mil, a yacht, a rolles the whole deal. shes far from ugly too, though thats really more of an afterthought in this situation. i'm fairly certain she wouldn't abort if i could pull this off. obviously i gotta plant my seed while the gettin is good, so i'd like some pointers on how to maximize my chances of success. should i go with the classic "poke-a-hole-in-the-condom" gag? or should i roll the dice with the "promise-to-pull-out-but-don't" approach? what position will yield the highest success rate here? please take this very seriously... this may be the only opportunity i get to weazel my way into a life of luxary and sloth.

Zarniwoop · 05-03-2007, 11:33 AM

Helping you to procreate does not appear to be in the best interests of humanity.

Jubee · 05-03-2007, 11:33 AM

More likely scenario: She does what every attractive, rich woman does and gets the nanny to raise her kid, dumps you, gets a dog that she carries around in her purse, and then flashes her vag as she's getting out of a car.

Meanwhile, you still make $8.25 a hour at the local quiktrip and have to pay her 25% of it.

DCNemesis · 05-03-2007, 11:33 AM

truly an admirable quest.

RiskyChris · 05-03-2007, 11:35 AM

Try to impregnate her without being in sex, but for god's sake only do this while you are sexually active with her. If you're practicing safe sex, then it'll seem more puzzling how she got pregnant.

Basically knock her out and take a syringe of sperm straight into the uterus through the stomach or something.

ValkyrieIsAboutToDie · 05-03-2007, 11:36 AM

Yoga.

Increases the chances of conception.

Taranatar · 05-03-2007, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kegkilla

so i've got a shot with this broad whos from a real rich fam, i'm talkin a few houses worth at least 10 mil, a yacht, a rolles the whole deal. shes far from ugly too, though thats really more of an afterthought in this situation. i'm fairly certain she wouldn't abort if i could pull this off. obviously i gotta plant my seed while the gettin is good, so i'd like some pointers on how to maximize my chances of success. should i go with the classic "poke-a-hole-in-the-condom" gag? or should i roll the dice with the "promise-to-pull-out-but-don't" approach? what position will yield the highest success rate here? please take this very seriously... this may be the only opportunity i get to weazel my way into a life of luxary and sloth.

You are fucking stupid.

Braen · 05-03-2007, 11:43 AM

I say you should forget this angle and try for a Darwin Award. I hear they are fun to win.

Himeo · 05-03-2007, 11:44 AM

The better thing to do is to get her to fall in love with you and then treat her like shit. Nine times of ten she will stay with you.

For the love of God, don't get kids involved.

Laven · 05-03-2007, 11:46 AM

You cant just get the thought of getting her pregnant will = you $$$$$. I'm sure her father wont be very pleased, those rich fathers like that would probably disown you and make sure you never her again and probably make you pay for child support. Or the father disowns the daughter, kicks her out with your ass and your both poor with a kid!

James · 05-03-2007, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zarniwoop

Helping you to procreate does not appear to be in the best interests of humanity.

.

Screamfeeder · 05-03-2007, 11:46 AM

The best thing to do is make up a better story.

Pics or it didn't happen.

kegkilla · 05-03-2007, 11:51 AM

so much great feedback. i'll be sure to send each of you a postcard when i'm sailing my yacht in the south carribean.

Marthisdil · 05-03-2007, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kegkilla

so much great feedback. i'll be sure to send each of you a postcard when i'm sailing my yacht in the south carribean.

What, you mean your little wooden boat loaded with illegal immigrants you took 500 bucks each from to try and get them to the coast of Florida?

Zistrix · 05-03-2007, 11:56 AM

I think what everyone is saying is that we need pics of the girl before we can really offer you any advice.

05-03-2007, 11:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
kegkilla Banned Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: killadelphia Posts: 2,519 -205 Internets	Need help knocking up a broad so i've got a shot with this broad whos from a real rich fam, i'm talkin a few houses worth at least 10 mil, a yacht, a rolles the whole deal. shes far from ugly too, though thats really more of an afterthought in this situation. i'm fairly certain she wouldn't abort if i could pull this off. obviously i gotta plant my seed while the gettin is good, so i'd like some pointers on how to maximize my chances of success. should i go with the classic "poke-a-hole-in-the-condom" gag? or should i roll the dice with the "promise-to-pull-out-but-don't" approach? what position will yield the highest success rate here? please take this very seriously... this may be the only opportunity i get to weazel my way into a life of luxary and sloth.

05-03-2007, 11:33 AM	#2 (permalink)
Zarniwoop I sass that. Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Toronto, ON Posts: 247 +0 Internets	Helping you to procreate does not appear to be in the best interests of humanity. __________________ You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

05-03-2007, 11:33 AM	#3 (permalink)
Jubee This is how I look when I post. Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 2,777 +5 Internets	More likely scenario: She does what every attractive, rich woman does and gets the nanny to raise her kid, dumps you, gets a dog that she carries around in her purse, and then flashes her vag as she's getting out of a car. Meanwhile, you still make $8.25 a hour at the local quiktrip and have to pay her 25% of it. __________________ Rekt, 80 Paladin

05-03-2007, 11:36 AM	#6 (permalink)
ValkyrieIsAboutToDie Needs food badly Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,560 +39 Internets	Yoga. Increases the chances of conception. Attached Images Last edited by ValkyrieIsAboutToDie; 05-03-2007 at 11:38 AM..

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05-03-2007, 11:33 AM	#4 (permalink)
DCNemesis Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 17 +0 Internets	truly an admirable quest.

05-03-2007, 11:35 AM	#5 (permalink)
RiskyChris Safety Dance Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Lafayette Posts: 5,702 +0 Internets	Try to impregnate her without being in sex, but for god's sake only do this while you are sexually active with her. If you're practicing safe sex, then it'll seem more puzzling how she got pregnant. Basically knock her out and take a syringe of sperm straight into the uterus through the stomach or something.

05-03-2007, 11:44 AM	#9 (permalink)
Himeo Memento mori. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Riverside, Ca Posts: 973 -5 Internets	The better thing to do is to get her to fall in love with you and then treat her like shit. Nine times of ten she will stay with you. For the love of God, don't get kids involved.

05-03-2007, 11:46 AM	#12 (permalink)
Screamfeeder I MAEK ART!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 2,932 +170 Internets	The best thing to do is make up a better story. Pics or it didn't happen.

05-03-2007, 11:51 AM	#13 (permalink)
kegkilla Banned Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: killadelphia Posts: 2,519 -205 Internets	so much great feedback. i'll be sure to send each of you a postcard when i'm sailing my yacht in the south carribean.

05-03-2007, 11:56 AM	#15 (permalink)
Zistrix Cowboy Astronaut Millionaire Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,257	I think what everyone is saying is that we need pics of the girl before we can really offer you any advice.