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Old 10-14-2007, 01:56 PM   #376 (permalink)
Scaffa
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The great thing about being self confident and comfortable with one's self is I don't give a shit if you are laughing at all, with me or at me. At least I have had more experiences than most of you half wits who have been and probably still are living with your parents and leading a very very sheltered life but find it great to bash other people, anonymously I might add, on a message board.
Except that as history has told us, time and time again on the FoH board, whenever someone runs their mouth about how cool they are / how many chicks they bang / how they have five sports cars / how they served in every regiment in every war and saved someones life in everyone / how much hennessy and coke they can drink ect.

It usually turns out to be a massive crock of shit.
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Old 10-14-2007, 01:58 PM   #377 (permalink)
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If getting a kidney infection from trailer trash is your definition of "living", I'll stay nice and safe in my basement.

Sorry, but that story pretty much sealed the fact that you don't get to be condescending to anyone else ever again.
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Old 10-14-2007, 02:31 PM   #378 (permalink)
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Figured it was time for the next installment of "Internet Whores and the Men Who Love Them."

WARNING LONG STORY

A little back story first. This story takes place in spring of 1998. I was playing UO hot and heavy at the time and was getting ready for my 21st birthday. I had been married for almost 2 years but I was separated from my wife at the time.

I had been talking to a girl in my guild, who was from Florida, for a few months but she was engaged to a guy in Missouri. He had moved up there about 6 months before to get a house set up and a job so he could move her there. What she didn't know was that her husband was actually shacked up with another girl in Missouri and was just stringing her along until he got around to leaving her. And because I knew this I felt it was alright to try and get some action from her cause hell he was getting some on the side so she might as well too.

I listened to all her problems and she would tell me how lonely she was and all that. After a while I got tired of the whole thing with the guy in Missouri was doing so I showed her some of the ICQs he had sent me talking about his new GF and how much he enjoyed not having her around. She went through the roof and called him up and ended their relationship. She became closer to me because of what I had shown her and we set up for me to come to FL to met. A week before I was to come met her she calls me up crying saying that she doesn't have any money and they are about to cut off her power. She asks me if I can loan her S500 until I come down and then she can repay me. I say sure and I wire her the cash. This is a foreshadowing of things to come btw.

My parents were going on a cruise the same week I was going to fly down so we decided to leave on the same day and I would come back on the same day they returned from their trip. (this will be important later) So we all go to the airport and I fly to FT. Lauderdale. I was going to get a rental car but she had said that I wouldn't need one because she could come get me and take me back when I needed to leave. For any of you ever thinking of meeting an internet person take it from me when I say.. ALWAYS HAVE YOUR OWN WAY OF GOING! Again foreshadowing here.

So I get off the plane and get my luggage. I see no one around that looks like her so I go to the front of the airport. An older man, around 55 with greasy hair and old ratty clothes, approaches me and calls out my name. I'm like "Who the fuck is this?" He introduces himself as her step father. Her car is tore up and he had to drive her to the airport but because she didn't want to leave her kids with him he had to come in and get me. I'm like ok that's fine w/e. He grabs my luggage and starts off with it. We go out into the parking lot and he leads me to a early 1960s station wagon, you know the ones I'm talking about! It has wood panel siding and shit brown interiors and it smells like someone just puked all over the floor board? I'm like ok this is not how I pictured things going but hey I'm here so might as well make the most of it.

He sits my stuff in the back of the car as go around and hug her. Yeap still as hot as the pictures she sent me for sure. She's wearing a white and pink trimmed sun dress that shows off everything. I grin from ear to ear as she opens the door for me and waits till I am in d closes the door for me. I am already getting a weird vibe from the 2 of them but dismiss it.. they are just being friendly is all.

As we drive back to her house her stepfather says that they need gas and so he stops in at a gas station. He asks me if I want anything to drink. I say nay and turn around and start talking to her as he pumps gas. When the tank is full he opens the door and says.."Ok it is 35 bucks." then stares at me. I stare back at him and then she leans up and whispers in my ear "Can you pay for it? I can give it back to you when we get home." I look at her but shrug and pull out my money and give him 40 bucks. They both stare at the cash in my hand and I hastily stuff it back into my pocket.

Another note for internet whore travelers... NEVER SHOW HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE TO ANYONE NOT EVEN THE PERSON YOU HAVE COME TO SEE.

When he comes back out to the car he has a gallon of milk and some bread. I hold out my hand for my change but he just smiles and hands me the milk and bread. I don't say a word I just take the stuff and sit there and stare out the window.

We ride for a good hour into the middle of fucking no where. I haven't seen a store in 20 mins and no houses in the past 10. I'm getting a little nervous when we finally cut onto a dirt road. It's a trailer park. I just sit and watch as the run down destitute homes go by. I have a sick gnawing feeling in my gut but I don't say anything. It is then that I realize that no one actually knows where I am. Only thing my parents know is I went to some where in Ft. Lauderdale. They are on a cruise and even if I wanted to call them I have no idea how to actually get a hold of them.

We pull up in front of this dingy white and tan trailer. The front porch consists of some old lumber that appears to have washed up on a beach and some old plywood that has rotten through in some places. The grass around the place is so high that I can't even tell if it's underpinned or not and there are pieces of broken shit laying every where. The front door opens and this behemoth sized woman looks out and smiles and waves at us.

I turn to the girl and say... "I thought we were going to your place?" She smiles and says.."We are here. I live with my parents now. After Tim (that's the ex's name btw) left I couldn't afford my own place any more so I had to move back in with my mother and her husband." I don't say another word as I get out of the car. I have officially stepped into the twilight zone.

Her mom maneuvers her great bulk across the porch, which groans and shakes, and makes her way down the steps. I am just stunned silent as she approaches me. "Hello there young man. It's so good of you to come and stay with us for a while. I am sure we will make you feel right at home for as long as you are here." And she gives me this ugly smile. I smile weakly and shake her clammy rotund hands and say "Thanks for having me ma'am." She turns around and leads me into the house.

Nothing could have prepared me for this scene. When you walk in the front door you come into the kitchen/living room. There is a hall way to the left and a door to a bedroom to the right. What was once brown shag carpet is a faded distant memory. What has taken it's place is a stained torn mess of holes and what appears to be dried shit in piles every where. The furniture is broken down old stuff that is so dirty you can't really tell the over all color of it. There are dozens of ash trays every where piled full of cigarette butts and ashes. The ceiling is also dirty from the years of smoke that had built up on it. The kitchen sink is over flowing with dishes that look like they haven't been washed in months. There is a crock pot on the counter that has mold growing out of it and down the sides. There appears to be a pile of trash in on corner that has been there so long that it has actually rotted a hole through the floor and fell through and they have just piled the hole full. Cockroaches the size of small rats scurry around and over everything in the kitchen.

As I turn towards the bedroom I can see through the door and see an old cast iron bed that is wired to the wall. Clothes are pile ceiling high on the far wall and on the side closest to the door there is a night stand with ashes and cigarette butts beside it at least 2 ft high. The night stand is covered with what appears to be old food bowls and glasses.

I turn and look down the hall way. I can see 3 doors down the hall way and all three are closed. The walls are all dirty and cob webs are every where. There is no flooring of any kind down the hall way.. just bare gypsum board.

I stand there at least 5 mins just turning my head back and forth before I feel a nudge at my back. I turn around and Jamie(that's the girl's name) is motioning me in. I take a deep breath and walk on into hell. As I walk on in the door the smell hits me like a punch to the stomach. Stale air, cigarette smoke, old food, shit, mold, and what can only be cat piss attack my nose. I almost retch as I walk on in but manage to hold every thing down and not make a sound. Jamie grabs my arm and leads me down the hall. We go all the way to the very last door and she opens it and leads me into her bed room.

A water bed takes up almost all the floor space, a huge dresser takes up what's left. The closest is piled full of clothes and they are strewn all over. On one end of the dresser is a computer.. the keyboard looks like someone dipped it in coke and then kicked it around out side for a couple days. The screen is so sticky with stuff I can't even see what is being displayed on the screen. The mouse appears to have a film at least a quarter of an inch thick all over it. On the other end of the dresser is a nice brand new looking stereo system that doesn't even appear to have dust on it. It is so out of place with the surroundings I can't stop staring at it. The bed it's self appears to be clean as a whistle and is made up very neatly. As I stare I begin to think maybe I died in a plane crash and this is hell and I have been sent here to live for eternity.

See one thing about me is.. I can't stand filth. Sure my house get s little dirty sometimes but I never let it go more than 3 days before i have to start cleaning. I couldn't even guesstimate how many years it had been since this little pig sty had been even straightened up much less cleaned.

"So what do you think? I know it's not much but it's all my mom can afford on her disability check. My step dad fishes a lot but doesn't make much money either." "I'm. speechless." I say cringing as I brush a pile of clothes. "yeah I know it's bad but it'll be ok." She then proceeds to make me forget all about the house and anyone else in it. She starts getting louder and louder and I just know any minute her parents are gonna come busting in but they never come back there. Never in all the times I had sex in that room did they ever come back there.

I should have figured it out then but I didn't. I was thinking with the wrong head.

When we are done I ask to use the bathroom. She tells me it in the next room. I go in there and take a piss. I go to flush and nothing happens. I call her in there and she informs me I must now go out side to the well and draw a bucket of water from the well to flush with. That's right they have no running water either. So out I go and draw the water like I had to do when I was a kid and go back and flush the commode. As I walk through the house her step dad just stares at me and grins while her mother gives me the evil eye. I was so uncomfortable and hurried through both times.

When it was time for supper I was informed that unless I wanted fish they had caught that morning and other stuff they could rustle up I would have to buy them all dinner some place. So I bought us dinner from a KFC on down the road cause there was NO WAY IN HELL I was gonna eat ANYTHING fixed in that shit hole.

As I sat on her bed and waited for her step dad to come back with food I noticed something. I had taken my shoes off when I had sex with her but had left my socks on. They were BLACK. That's right walking from the bed room to the living room and back again in my white socks had turned the bottoms of them black and sticky. I almost retched again as I yanked them off and put my shoes back on. I went in search of my suitcase and found it on the couch. When I went to pick it up a flea jumped on my arm! They also were infested with fleas!

I went back to the bedroom and just laid down and closed my eyes. How in the hell had I gotten myself into this I wondered. All in the pursuit of a piece of ass.

3 days I stayed there and every day was the same I stayed in her room laying on the bed and when she wanted to have sex we did. When i started talking about getting ready to leave she brought her friend over and we had a couple three ways so that I would stay longer. After 2 nights of that I had decided I had had enough. I was dirty, I was tired, and I was covered in flea bits. Not even sex with 2 beautiful women could keep me there any longer. I told Jamie that on my 5th night there and she left the room.

In a few minutes her step dad came back into the room and said i wasn't going any where. I had told them I was going to stay with them for a week and he was gonna see I stayed for that long and maybe even longer. That Jamie and I had made a commitment to each other and he was going to let me just walk away from that. Furthermore I owed him $800 for the 5 nights I had stayed and I couldn't leave till that was paid anyway. He walked out of the room.

I lay on the bed and just stared at the ceiling. Jamie came back in and lay down beside me. As I stared at the ceiling an idea came to me. I would wait till tonight and I would sneak out and get a ride from someone into town and then I would go to the airport and trade me ticket in for an earlier flight and go home. With the money I had in my pocket and put up in a secret place in my suitcase I could easily stay at a hotel in Atlanta and wait for my parents to get back. I decided to have one more go at Jamie before I left.. sorta like a grudge fuck for the hell I had been through.

After we were through she left the room. As I was pulling off the condom I noticed it was leaking... I looked at the pack again and sure enough there was a pin hole through it. I checked the other's in the box and all of them had holes poked through them! These crazy fuckers were trying to trap me! I threw the condom away and pretended nothing was wrong. I bought dinner again that night and said I was tired and went to bed. I lay there until I heard her start snoring. I then opened on of the windows and crept out. I ran out to the road and flagged down a car. They just happened to be going to Ft. Lauderdale and gave me a lift.

I got to the airport and traded my ticket in for an earlier flight. The flight didn't leave for another hour so I decided to go to the bathroom and shower and change clothes and get some food. After I showered I went to take a piss and burning liquid metal flowed out my penis when I pissed. I nearly passed out in the damn stall. When i came back around I dressed and went out to get me something for my now upset stomach. when I reached into my suitcase to get out my secret stash of cash I found it all gone.. I had put back $800 in cash as a just in case fund and now it was all gone. That meant I wouldn't have the cash to stay any where when I got back to ATL.... wtf was I going to do. I had $25 and that was it. I decided not to worry about it and I would try and tough it out until my parents got there 2 days later.

When I flew in I sat in the airport for 26 hours. The pain in my gut and groin was so bad that I was delirious sometimes. I finally called my wife, whom I was separated from remember, and she came and took me home. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. The next day I went to the doctor about the burning sensation I had experienced. Come to find out she had given me a severe kidney infection and I was also dehydrated. I had to stay in the hospital a week on IV antibiotics and saline to get rid of it and recoup from the event.

The week hospital stay cost $10000, and, including plane tickets, money they stole form me, and the $500 I loaned her, the trip cost me over $2000. So $12000 for a piece of ass, a couple threesomes, and a week vacation in the hospital... No it was not worth it.
Quoted to prevent you from editing it out.

Oh, and you're a fucking moron.
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Old 10-14-2007, 02:50 PM   #379 (permalink)
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And once again my hatred for Florida is confirmed to be completely rational.
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Old 10-14-2007, 02:59 PM   #380 (permalink)
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One of the guys that won the title "Of the Nexus" on Xegony was a friend of a friend. I guess they started calling him Kenny of the Nexus in the real life around people that didn't play EQ so he got rid of the title.

One of my friends won a pvp tournament and got the title "Keeper of the Ages" Don't know why it's not on the list.
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Old 10-14-2007, 03:01 PM   #381 (permalink)
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How dare you try to rerail this thread!

Watching the trainwreck that is Camerous is much better than the original purpose.
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Old 10-14-2007, 03:11 PM   #382 (permalink)
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Rofl I'm glad I read that.

Also, I do not constitute that as being a "good experience"...or even a worthwhile one. Just...lol. That is all.
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Old 10-14-2007, 03:22 PM   #383 (permalink)
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What was everyone's favorite part? Mine was when Camerous was waiting for his parents to get home and lived at an airport before calling his wife (who he had split from) to help him get out of a situation where he spent $12k to fly to a hick's house that gave him STD's. Just the whole part about being married, and yet waiting for your parents to get home, and having just got an STD from somebody that you wern't married to, yet calling your wife (who you are split from) is just gold to me.
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Old 10-14-2007, 03:43 PM   #384 (permalink)
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What was everyone's favorite part?
The child-killer like attention to detail coupled with the frat-boy style and tone.

Last edited by Scaffa : 10-14-2007 at 03:46 PM.
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Old 10-14-2007, 09:16 PM   #385 (permalink)
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I like when his kidney's almost died.
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Old 10-14-2007, 09:38 PM   #386 (permalink)
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How dare you try to rerail this thread!

Watching the trainwreck that is Camerous is much better than the original purpose.
Sorry!

My favorite part was when the step-dad asked for money to stay in that shit hole. $160 dollars a night, high class. Either that or the holes in the condoms. A baby would have made that story A+++.

The next raid must have been awkward.
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Old 10-14-2007, 11:21 PM   #387 (permalink)
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Camerous,

did you ever talk to her again afterwards?

Your posts are evidence that no matter how tempting, e-sluts are whacked in the head and are to be approached with greatest caution
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Old 10-15-2007, 12:17 AM   #388 (permalink)
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Camerous makes me believe that MMOs are nothing but a big chatroom with monsters. Maybe game developers should pick up on that.

Btw, that's a kickass story. If anything then Camerous is a good storyteller mixing it up nicely with a touch of Stephen King.
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Old 10-15-2007, 04:20 AM   #389 (permalink)
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It's also, as a rule, not a good idea to carry large amounts of cash with you.
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Old 10-15-2007, 04:26 AM   #390 (permalink)
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Camerous,

did you ever talk to her again afterwards?
Strangely enough yes I did. About a month later she sent me an ICQ conference call and being curious about it I accepted. She then started blasting me in front of the ex, the other girl we had our threesome with, and another guy that I would later find out was her husband in FL. That's right she was married also while being engaged and screwing me. I just sat there and listened until she was done. I then thanked her for the kidney infection and closed out the chat and put her on ignore. That was the last I heard from her.

I think my next story will be about the red head from Kansas City who poisoned me after I wouldn't stay and marry her and help her raise her kids. It's a pretty amusing story also.
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