A guide to RPing in the World of Warcraft.

cubis zirconias · 03-12-2005, 07:06 AM

Just cutting and pasting from my guide site, thought it was funny.

Do all these professional RPers on our server have you feeling left out because all their years of experience? Well, in a few scant minutes I will give you the tools and the skill to RP just like them so you too can be a snooty asshole who talks down to others who you feel don't know how to RP. This step-by-step program will help you so much that you might want to have my children. (If this is the case, PM me)

Step 1- This is the most important part of the process, if you don't do anything else, do this: Use a fake-assed Ye-Olde-English accent. Why? Because nothing says RP like speaking in Ye-Olde-English. For instance...
"Thoust hath impuned mine honor foreth the last time! ENGARDE!"
Notice how I put an 'eth' randomly at the end of a word, that's what real RPers do, so if you want those geeks to have mad respect for you, use the fake Ye-Olde-English accent like the real RPers!

Step 2- If anyone appears to be new to RPing, FOR GOD SAKES DON'T HELP THEM OR GIVE THEM TIPS!!! Remember! You are snooty RPer who writes bad poetry (more on this in a minute) and therefore you don't have to take that shit from no one! Instead you should mock them, or announce how you are going to ignore them because they have stated a slight RP inaccuracy. You should never EVER offer them tips on how to improve, instead, use /ignore and chuckle away with other RP whores who know of these secrets.

Step 3- When in doubt, go with a generic stereotype... in fact if you go against that stereotype you lose all RP credit, so don't! If you are a dwarf you must speak like an Irishman!! If you are a human you MUST BE ENGLISH! To hell with the fact that England isn't anywhere near Stormwind. If you are a warlock you must be evil, if you are a pally you must preach holyness, and remember, true paladins must be rightous and hate the horde!

Step 4- You are required to flirt and eventually have public cyb0rz sexxorz with any and all night elf girls in the area, remember, they are girl toon so it HAS to be a hot girl who looks like an elf on the other side! So feel free to flirt and emote highly offensive things and use RP as a defense when you get reported, for example!

Note- If this breaks the stereotype of your race/class combo you must NOT DO IT! Instead you must bitch about others doing it.

Step 5- If you at any point someone points out an innaccuracy about your RPing you must swiftly dig up some dirt (the dirt doesn't have to be real, in fact, the bigger the lie the better!) about the one who insulted you! For instance...
You: "Yes, i'm quite sure, it was Medivh who let the trolls into Azeroth"
RP asshole: "liek omfg u r rong u suxxorz i h8 u lolz, u nuub, lololz, it wuz tha orcs not tha trollz nub"
You: "Oh yeah? Well what about that one time where you said that the dragons were children of Cenarious? And how about that time you stole that cash from the elderly blind old woman??"
Perfect, you shoved an equal falsehood at the opposition AND insulted their integrity, thus making them break the stereotype they must be hammered into!

Step 6- Write bad poetry and even worse fan fiction, and post it on your web blog that no one reads, that way you can feel deep and misunderstood and brag about how awesome and literate you are to the other RP idiots who write bad poetry and fantasy (that generally rips the Frell outta Dragonlance) stories.

Step 7- Go to the Rennosance (sp?) festival and observe how people act, act like them, but be more of an asshole about it and demand that people bring you a steak-on-a-stake.

Step 8- Pretend that you are the child/grandchild of a famous Warcraft icon, for instance, say that you are the 800 year old bastard child of Illidan Stormrage (that would be a night elf only one). When people tell you that Illidan was imprisoned for almost his entire life and therefore couldn't have any children of that age you should respond "LOLOLOL, u dun know wut i kno so u shuld STFU lolz, u ignant tool u!1"
If you are a human use Uther, or Arthas, or both! Be creative! Mix and match! Say that you are the son of Deathwing and Tyrande, yes, the more impossible you make it, the better effect on your RP awesomeness! The other RP geeks will want to bow and kiss your feet! (and this often leads to step 4 actions.)

Step 9- You must treat all RPing with AIDS-like seriousness, if you don't, you are up for banning, so don't. RPing is often like an episode of ER or "As the world turns" and as thus, it sucks ass, but you can't point that out!!! Or you will find the flames of hell seeking you out and BURNING YOU. The one difference between this and soaps, is that soaps are written by witless hack with a MONEY-INCENTIVE to be worthless hacks, RP soaps are of course, done for fun, and therefore means that they will always suck, but you can't say so! Flames! Hell! Burn! Yadayada! So if someones in a coma don't suggest that they just frelling die so they can stop being fondled and healed... that's BLASPHEMY!

Step 10- As the witless drama hacks (ie, goth teenagers) will surely tell you (well, yell at you about) eventually, there is no humor or wit allowed in RPing! Remember! If you have a wit or sense of humor (which isn't funny to the witless goth teenagers) it will get you nothing, only with pained dramatic woe can you earn RP points! For example it's not appropriate to say: "Hark! I am the mighty king of poopy!" (just an example, don't comment you idiots) but it is appropriate to say this: "Woe to me! I am so pained and in such agony that I feel I am nothing and nothing is my soul! Alas! Alas!"

Step 11- This one goes hand-in-hand with step 10, note the last line of the above step. At the end of the dramatic line, you must always add "alas! alas!" because that makes it more dramatic, and that is, after all, the big main goal! The more times you add "alas!!" the better it is! In fact it's ok just to type "alas!" over and over again and have nothing worth reading and it still owns!! Alas! Alas! Alas!!!

Step 12- Even though in an RP world of fiction there would be no one saying things like "lolz" and "rofflewaffle" that's very important in RPland! Remember that most RPers are goth teenagers or 11 year olds, so you have to say "lol" whenever someone says something that isn't funny and when you're not "laughing out loud" because that's what RPers do! Since humor isn't allowed in RP (see last 2 rules) this might confuse you, but in RP... Abbrieviations>All. So an appropriate line of RP would go from this:
"Hah, you tell him how to grab em Koko!" You should instead say this:
"LOLZ! u tell him how 2 grab them knock3rz Kokoz lolz!1"

Step 13- You must ignore your Character level in RP! Remember, no matter what class you are you kick the ass off anyone else of that class and can burn down the tavern of RPness with a wave of your hand! The difference between level 1 and 60 is nothing in the RP realm!

Step 14- Modding is OK! Modding is the practice of ending someones RP experience permanently if the action actually went through. For example:
"Charr charges Koko and stabs her in the heart, killing her"
Now if that went through, Koko would die. Since Koko is a 60 warrior (for examples sake) she doesn't let it go through:
"Koko kung-fu kicks Charr in the nads"
That was a mod, Charr SHOULD have ended Koko's RP! She didn't let it go through though! So Charr should say to Koko:
"LOLOLZ U cant jus' kung fu if u r bleding evrywere u r ded!!1 lern 2 rp!1"

Step 15- If someone breaks a rule of RPing, you must ignore them! In fact, announce when you do it and why you are doing it, several times, but say the same thing each time so you are being poetic in your repititions! ALAS! ALAS!

If you use these simple tips, you too can be an RP master! The RP newbs will tremble before your verbal onslaught of stereotypical awesomeness! Remember, RPing is supposed to be fun for you, but make sure that you ruin everyone elses experience by being an asshole. ALAS

Angry Amadeus · 03-12-2005, 07:13 AM

Holy Moses.

Lleauaric~EW · 03-12-2005, 07:18 AM

I almost feel bad for you for the devoting of a significant portion of your time to something so totally devoid of humor.

Almost

xilsharn · 03-12-2005, 07:20 AM

Boy, are YOU in the wrong bar.

cubis zirconias · 03-12-2005, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lleauaric~EW
I almost feel bad for you for the devoting of a significant portion of your time to something so totally devoid of humor.

Almost

I suppose it's hard to find anything funny when you have sand in your vagina. Also, if you read the top, all I did was cut/paste it here, took about 30 seconds of my time.

Whyme · 03-12-2005, 08:07 AM

That was really, really bad.

Goofy · 03-12-2005, 08:36 AM

IBT....

Mkopec1 · 03-12-2005, 09:00 AM

sweet!

Solonaro · 03-12-2005, 09:21 AM

0/10

...but your reaction that anyone who finds it unfunny must have "sand in their vagina" is amusing in its own way, because it demonstrates exactly the stick-up-your ass attitude that you claim only RPers have

or, to put it more succinctly, IBTR

frott · 03-12-2005, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by xilsharn
Boy, are YOU in the wrong bar.

Yes, he was shocked not to hear the blue oyster theme start up after posting it.

Iannis · 03-12-2005, 10:27 AM

My role-play guide:
1) Use -Eth. Noeth, Virginia, there really isnteth a Santa Clauseth.

2) Waste the GM's time by petitioning every single person you come across. Except the Night Elf manginas, because if they role play you could get your freak on.

3) Take a black man's manhood up the ass on a regular basis.

These are my 3 steps, and it's much less to read, and is almost as good as the prior tips.

Element · 03-12-2005, 10:30 AM

get well soon

Yermum Onceme · 03-12-2005, 10:52 AM

MY role play guide:
1. Shut the fuck up

cubis zirconias · 03-12-2005, 11:13 AM

Whoa.. I feel special, you guys flamezored me! I might even merit a rickshaw!!

cubis zirconias · 03-12-2005, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by frott
Yes, he was shocked not to hear the blue oyster theme start up after posting it.

Blue oyster??? I'm a rap fan!!

03-12-2005, 07:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
cubis zirconias Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 5 +0 Internets	A guide to RPing in the World of Warcraft. Just cutting and pasting from my guide site, thought it was funny. Do all these professional RPers on our server have you feeling left out because all their years of experience? Well, in a few scant minutes I will give you the tools and the skill to RP just like them so you too can be a snooty asshole who talks down to others who you feel don't know how to RP. This step-by-step program will help you so much that you might want to have my children. (If this is the case, PM me) Step 1- This is the most important part of the process, if you don't do anything else, do this: Use a fake-assed Ye-Olde-English accent. Why? Because nothing says RP like speaking in Ye-Olde-English. For instance... "Thoust hath impuned mine honor foreth the last time! ENGARDE!" Notice how I put an 'eth' randomly at the end of a word, that's what real RPers do, so if you want those geeks to have mad respect for you, use the fake Ye-Olde-English accent like the real RPers! Step 2- If anyone appears to be new to RPing, FOR GOD SAKES DON'T HELP THEM OR GIVE THEM TIPS!!! Remember! You are snooty RPer who writes bad poetry (more on this in a minute) and therefore you don't have to take that shit from no one! Instead you should mock them, or announce how you are going to ignore them because they have stated a slight RP inaccuracy. You should never EVER offer them tips on how to improve, instead, use /ignore and chuckle away with other RP whores who know of these secrets. Step 3- When in doubt, go with a generic stereotype... in fact if you go against that stereotype you lose all RP credit, so don't! If you are a dwarf you must speak like an Irishman!! If you are a human you MUST BE ENGLISH! To hell with the fact that England isn't anywhere near Stormwind. If you are a warlock you must be evil, if you are a pally you must preach holyness, and remember, true paladins must be rightous and hate the horde! Step 4- You are required to flirt and eventually have public cyb0rz sexxorz with any and all night elf girls in the area, remember, they are girl toon so it HAS to be a hot girl who looks like an elf on the other side! So feel free to flirt and emote highly offensive things and use RP as a defense when you get reported, for example! Note- If this breaks the stereotype of your race/class combo you must NOT DO IT! Instead you must bitch about others doing it. Step 5- If you at any point someone points out an innaccuracy about your RPing you must swiftly dig up some dirt (the dirt doesn't have to be real, in fact, the bigger the lie the better!) about the one who insulted you! For instance... You: "Yes, i'm quite sure, it was Medivh who let the trolls into Azeroth" RP asshole: "liek omfg u r rong u suxxorz i h8 u lolz, u nuub, lololz, it wuz tha orcs not tha trollz nub" You: "Oh yeah? Well what about that one time where you said that the dragons were children of Cenarious? And how about that time you stole that cash from the elderly blind old woman??" Perfect, you shoved an equal falsehood at the opposition AND insulted their integrity, thus making them break the stereotype they must be hammered into! Step 6- Write bad poetry and even worse fan fiction, and post it on your web blog that no one reads, that way you can feel deep and misunderstood and brag about how awesome and literate you are to the other RP idiots who write bad poetry and fantasy (that generally rips the Frell outta Dragonlance) stories. Step 7- Go to the Rennosance (sp?) festival and observe how people act, act like them, but be more of an asshole about it and demand that people bring you a steak-on-a-stake. Step 8- Pretend that you are the child/grandchild of a famous Warcraft icon, for instance, say that you are the 800 year old bastard child of Illidan Stormrage (that would be a night elf only one). When people tell you that Illidan was imprisoned for almost his entire life and therefore couldn't have any children of that age you should respond "LOLOLOL, u dun know wut i kno so u shuld STFU lolz, u ignant tool u!1" If you are a human use Uther, or Arthas, or both! Be creative! Mix and match! Say that you are the son of Deathwing and Tyrande, yes, the more impossible you make it, the better effect on your RP awesomeness! The other RP geeks will want to bow and kiss your feet! (and this often leads to step 4 actions.) Step 9- You must treat all RPing with AIDS-like seriousness, if you don't, you are up for banning, so don't. RPing is often like an episode of ER or "As the world turns" and as thus, it sucks ass, but you can't point that out!!! Or you will find the flames of hell seeking you out and BURNING YOU. The one difference between this and soaps, is that soaps are written by witless hack with a MONEY-INCENTIVE to be worthless hacks, RP soaps are of course, done for fun, and therefore means that they will always suck, but you can't say so! Flames! Hell! Burn! Yadayada! So if someones in a coma don't suggest that they just frelling die so they can stop being fondled and healed... that's BLASPHEMY! Step 10- As the witless drama hacks (ie, goth teenagers) will surely tell you (well, yell at you about) eventually, there is no humor or wit allowed in RPing! Remember! If you have a wit or sense of humor (which isn't funny to the witless goth teenagers) it will get you nothing, only with pained dramatic woe can you earn RP points! For example it's not appropriate to say: "Hark! I am the mighty king of poopy!" (just an example, don't comment you idiots) but it is appropriate to say this: "Woe to me! I am so pained and in such agony that I feel I am nothing and nothing is my soul! Alas! Alas!" Step 11- This one goes hand-in-hand with step 10, note the last line of the above step. At the end of the dramatic line, you must always add "alas! alas!" because that makes it more dramatic, and that is, after all, the big main goal! The more times you add "alas!!" the better it is! In fact it's ok just to type "alas!" over and over again and have nothing worth reading and it still owns!! Alas! Alas! Alas!!! Step 12- Even though in an RP world of fiction there would be no one saying things like "lolz" and "rofflewaffle" that's very important in RPland! Remember that most RPers are goth teenagers or 11 year olds, so you have to say "lol" whenever someone says something that isn't funny and when you're not "laughing out loud" because that's what RPers do! Since humor isn't allowed in RP (see last 2 rules) this might confuse you, but in RP... Abbrieviations>All. So an appropriate line of RP would go from this: "Hah, you tell him how to grab em Koko!" You should instead say this: "LOLZ! u tell him how 2 grab them knock3rz Kokoz lolz!1" Step 13- You must ignore your Character level in RP! Remember, no matter what class you are you kick the ass off anyone else of that class and can burn down the tavern of RPness with a wave of your hand! The difference between level 1 and 60 is nothing in the RP realm! Step 14- Modding is OK! Modding is the practice of ending someones RP experience permanently if the action actually went through. For example: "Charr charges Koko and stabs her in the heart, killing her" Now if that went through, Koko would die. Since Koko is a 60 warrior (for examples sake) she doesn't let it go through: "Koko kung-fu kicks Charr in the nads" That was a mod, Charr SHOULD have ended Koko's RP! She didn't let it go through though! So Charr should say to Koko: "LOLOLZ U cant jus' kung fu if u r bleding evrywere u r ded!!1 lern 2 rp!1" Step 15- If someone breaks a rule of RPing, you must ignore them! In fact, announce when you do it and why you are doing it, several times, but say the same thing each time so you are being poetic in your repititions! ALAS! ALAS! If you use these simple tips, you too can be an RP master! The RP newbs will tremble before your verbal onslaught of stereotypical awesomeness! Remember, RPing is supposed to be fun for you, but make sure that you ruin everyone elses experience by being an asshole. ALAS __________________ A poem by me, "roses are red, Violets are blue, give me head dammit!"

03-12-2005, 07:13 AM	#2 (permalink)
Angry Amadeus Brained. Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Salzburg Posts: 1,737	Holy Moses. __________________ Angry Amadeus Burn in hell, Salieri

03-12-2005, 07:18 AM	#3 (permalink)
Lleauaric~EW "Hamburgers, the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast" Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 669 -10 Internets	.. I almost feel bad for you for the devoting of a significant portion of your time to something so totally devoid of humor. Almost __________________ Well now everything dies baby that's a fact But maybe everything that dies someday comes back Well I got a job and tried to put my money away But I got debts that no honest man can pay

03-12-2005, 08:36 AM	#7 (permalink)
Goofy AzN PrYdE Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Singapore Posts: 977 +0 Internets	IBT.... __________________ got milk?

03-12-2005, 09:00 AM	#8 (permalink)
Mkopec1 Registered User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Detroit Posts: 5,011	sweet! __________________ When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

03-12-2005, 07:20 AM	#4 (permalink)
xilsharn Definitely a chick Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 1,734 +0 Internets	Boy, are YOU in the wrong bar.

03-12-2005, 08:07 AM	#6 (permalink)
Whyme Whynot Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 492 +5 Internets	That was really, really bad.

03-12-2005, 09:21 AM	#9 (permalink)
Solonaro Zug Zug Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: New York Posts: 157 -1 Internets	0/10 ...but your reaction that anyone who finds it unfunny must have "sand in their vagina" is amusing in its own way, because it demonstrates exactly the stick-up-your ass attitude that you claim only RPers have or, to put it more succinctly, IBTR

03-12-2005, 10:27 AM	#11 (permalink)
Iannis Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Butt Hugging Moose Jockey Posts: 4,968 -1 Internets	My role-play guide: 1) Use -Eth. Noeth, Virginia, there really isnteth a Santa Clauseth. 2) Waste the GM's time by petitioning every single person you come across. Except the Night Elf manginas, because if they role play you could get your freak on. 3) Take a black man's manhood up the ass on a regular basis. These are my 3 steps, and it's much less to read, and is almost as good as the prior tips.

03-12-2005, 10:30 AM	#12 (permalink)
Element Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,017 +0 Internets	get well soon

03-12-2005, 10:52 AM	#13 (permalink)
Yermum Onceme Banned Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: PA Posts: 1,523 +0 Internets	IBTR MY role play guide: 1. Shut the fuck up

03-12-2005, 11:13 AM	#14 (permalink)
cubis zirconias Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 5 +0 Internets	Whoa.. I feel special, you guys flamezored me! I might even merit a rickshaw!! __________________ A poem by me, "roses are red, Violets are blue, give me head dammit!"

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