Indietorrents

Opulis · 10-24-2005, 11:57 PM

I've got an extra invite to indietorrents to give away, and I know some of you are more than deserving.

Therefore, I'd like to start a mini contest to last a few days. Everyone gets one chance to post the funniest joke, because I'm pretty bad in the joke department and would like to shamelessly steal one or two. The person who posts the funniest shall recieve an invite to indietorrents from me.

Thanks!

~Opulis.

xlurkerx · 10-24-2005, 11:59 PM

are racial jokes ok?

Opulis · 10-25-2005, 12:12 AM

Shrug, whatever.

Tingteng · 10-25-2005, 02:57 AM

oo neat

Angry Amadeus · 10-25-2005, 09:35 AM

*yawn*

Confucious say: "Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day".

Ham n Cheese · 10-25-2005, 10:24 AM

How many ping pong balls does it take to fill up the empire state building?

none! because ice cream doesn't grow hair

Zinke · 10-25-2005, 10:37 AM

A man comes home after a day at the office to find his wife crying.
"What's wrong?" he asks
"I went to the store today and a horrible man looked up my skirt. He said 'I'd like to fill that with beer and drink it. I wish you had been there to kick his ass."
"Listen, honey, I've told you countless times to wear panties every day," replies the husband. "And, second, there's no way I'd mess with anyone who could drink that much beer."

It's nice to change the joke to first person too. Use 'chick I dated, old girlfriend' etc.. Then, when/if a friend says 'so you were dating a slut huh?' or something like that, you can just refer to your abnormally large penis as the cause for her roomy vagina.

Plaid · 10-25-2005, 01:21 PM

I like my woman how I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

Opulis · 10-26-2005, 11:48 PM

Ahoy, Zinke.

~Opulis.

Bronyaur · 10-27-2005, 01:58 AM

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball...

Zinke · 10-27-2005, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plaid

I like my woman how I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

I like my woman how I like my coffee.. COVERED IN BEES!

Plaid · 10-27-2005, 01:42 PM

Winner?

Zinke · 10-27-2005, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Opulis

Ahoy, Zinke.

~Opulis.

But, I gave a suggestion to Opulis about who to give it to.

frott · 10-27-2005, 02:44 PM

What's the difference between a dead infant and an apple?
I don't ejaculate all over an apple before I eat it.

What's the worst thing about fucking a 4 year old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.

How many have to die before there is justice?
Millions!

Two guys are watching a dog lick his balls, one says "Don't you wish you could do that?" the other responds "Don't you think he'd bite me?"

What do you get when you toss a screaming child and a ziploc full of bloody shit into a blender?
An erection.

What goes "scratch scratch scratch cough scratch scratch scratch"?
The little ballgagged boy locked in my closet.

A homosexual walks into the bedroom, his lover naked on the bed covered in semen and shit, and says "Gosh, crack a window if you're going to fart."

What do you give a little orphan girl for her birthday?
Another black eye unless she learns to make the gin neat.

Ichu · 10-27-2005, 03:39 PM

Why did the blonde jump off the building?

Because she was clinically depressed and suicidal.

......

10-24-2005, 11:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
Opulis brrrl Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: panhandle of san francisco Posts: 357	Indietorrents I've got an extra invite to indietorrents to give away, and I know some of you are more than deserving. Therefore, I'd like to start a mini contest to last a few days. Everyone gets one chance to post the funniest joke, because I'm pretty bad in the joke department and would like to shamelessly steal one or two. The person who posts the funniest shall recieve an invite to indietorrents from me. Thanks! ~Opulis.

10-25-2005, 02:57 AM	#4 (permalink)
Tingteng Thread Killer Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Portland,OR Posts: 1,207 -7 Internets	oo neat __________________

10-25-2005, 09:35 AM	#5 (permalink)
Angry Amadeus Brained. Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Salzburg Posts: 1,744	yawn Confucious say: "Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day". __________________ Angry Amadeus Burn in hell, Salieri

10-25-2005, 10:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
Ham n Cheese You can betray me Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston Posts: 8,661 +20 Internets	How many ping pong balls does it take to fill up the empire state building? none! because ice cream doesn't grow hair __________________ Xeph Caito Cao'Li Hunky Dory

10-25-2005, 01:21 PM	#8 (permalink)
Plaid Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: St. Louis Posts: 257 +0 Internets	I like my woman how I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer. __________________ Post Count

10-24-2005, 11:59 PM	#2 (permalink)
xlurkerx Registered User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 285 +0 Internets	are racial jokes ok?

10-25-2005, 12:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
Opulis brrrl Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: panhandle of san francisco Posts: 357	Shrug, whatever.

10-25-2005, 10:37 AM	#7 (permalink)
Zinke I think I'm drunk enough to drive you home. Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: What is, is. Posts: 2,458 +0 Internets	A man comes home after a day at the office to find his wife crying. "What's wrong?" he asks "I went to the store today and a horrible man looked up my skirt. He said 'I'd like to fill that with beer and drink it. I wish you had been there to kick his ass." "Listen, honey, I've told you countless times to wear panties every day," replies the husband. "And, second, there's no way I'd mess with anyone who could drink that much beer." It's nice to change the joke to first person too. Use 'chick I dated, old girlfriend' etc.. Then, when/if a friend says 'so you were dating a slut huh?' or something like that, you can just refer to your abnormally large penis as the cause for her roomy vagina.

10-26-2005, 11:48 PM	#9 (permalink)
Opulis brrrl Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: panhandle of san francisco Posts: 357	Ahoy, Zinke. ~Opulis.

10-27-2005, 01:58 AM	#10 (permalink)
Bronyaur Drinking more than Robert Pollard... Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: BFE, Missouri Posts: 140 +1 Internets	What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball... __________________ I am a scientist I seek to understand me I am an incurable and nothing else behaves like me

10-27-2005, 01:42 PM	#12 (permalink)
Plaid Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: St. Louis Posts: 257 +0 Internets	Winner? __________________ Post Count

10-27-2005, 02:44 PM	#14 (permalink)
frott Banned Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 3,390 +0 Internets	What's the difference between a dead infant and an apple? I don't ejaculate all over an apple before I eat it. What's the worst thing about fucking a 4 year old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. How many have to die before there is justice? Millions! Two guys are watching a dog lick his balls, one says "Don't you wish you could do that?" the other responds "Don't you think he'd bite me?" What do you get when you toss a screaming child and a ziploc full of bloody shit into a blender? An erection. What goes "scratch scratch scratch cough scratch scratch scratch"? The little ballgagged boy locked in my closet. A homosexual walks into the bedroom, his lover naked on the bed covered in semen and shit, and says "Gosh, crack a window if you're going to fart." What do you give a little orphan girl for her birthday? Another black eye unless she learns to make the gin neat.

10-27-2005, 03:39 PM	#15 (permalink)
Ichu Registered User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Calgary, Canada Posts: 219 +6 Internets	Why did the blonde jump off the building? Because she was clinically depressed and suicidal. ......

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