Bruce Almighty Review (minor spoilers)

[Searyx]

Since Millie has been slackin' the last month or two, I guess I'll take up the mantle. Here's my Bruce Almighty review:

You son of a bitch. You just HAD to play by the Hollywood rulebook for comedy screenplays, didn't ya?

The first half is a comedy goldmine. Constant laughs throughout. I mean, gut-bursting laughs. It was really something wonderful. They even threw in a few balsy jokes. Dark humor variety and whatnot. The first 55 minutes were just plain good cinema.

And then it happened. In a rather unsubtle turn of events, the movie becomes a parable about how a good but egotistical man finds the WILL to believe in the power of the Lord, and see the evil of his ways, and find the way to mend his relationship with his HOLD ON ONE MOTHERFUCKING SECOND!!

At this point, the laughs come to almost a standstill. I laughed maybe 3 times in the last 45 minutes, when I had been laughing non-stop. On top of that, I had to CRINGE as the screenplay forcibly put the characters through the false crisis, the false dawn, the real crisis, and the real dawn, weezing and coughing the whole way. If I hadn't been sitting with a bunch of friends, I would have left before the end. It was that bad.

Why not play it balls to the wall, swinging from the rafters? Why fold so easily in the second half? Why did they not continue to use what was working so well just so they could play it safe? Why, does the current GOD, after taking his wife to a massage, and then to a beautiful and romantic dinner at a place they went to on their first date, and after 300,000 obvious clues by his girlfriend, does he KNEEL DOWN IN FRONT OF HER... let me repeat that.

HE KNEELS DOWN IN FRONT OF HER AT THE FUCKING TABLE, AND SAYS HE'S GOING TO TELL HER SOMETHING THAT WILL CHANGE THEIR LIVES FOREVER.

She stumbles a few words, spills another 300 hints that she knows what's he's going to do. YOU know what he's going to do, don't you? That's right! He's going to, with all of God's faculties and abilities, he's going to... tell her he got a job as a news anchor.

At this point, the movie stumbles and never recovers. It's like the ending to Groundhog Day on downers. What a waste.

[Searyx]

Here is a clip from another review. The writer is obviously playing around with Bible speak as a bit of a joke, but he conveys the problem with the story pretty well I think.

10. And for a period of three-score minutes, the jokes were fruitful, and the levity did multiply, and such was the singular manner of Bruce's omnipotence that a monkey did painfully emergeth from a luckless man's heinie. And yea, there was much rejoicing, and hooting, and many utterances of jubilant profanity, at least among members of the fickle 15-24 male demographic.

11. And then I beheld the third act and, lo, the sun became as black, and the moon became as blood, and the music became as sentimental and flourishy, and the script became as gooey as the bounteous torso of Marlon Brando.

12. And I regarded the third act, in all its plenteous treacle, and I did yearn to flee thither, and to plungeth thorns in mine eyes, for it was a grave pestilence and a plague upon the multiplex. Although a fleshy woman in yonder seat kept saying it was "sweet."

13. And then suddenly in mine eyes there appeared a great wonder in Heaven: It was the closing credits. And I do saith unto you: It was about freaking time. Rating two 1/2

The full review can be found Here.

[Schar]

Millie doesn't seem to read her forums anymore, but at least they're still moderated (i think).

Just so i don't derail, i haven't seen it yet, and i'm going to wait for dvd before i see it, because of the general negative reviews it's getting.