The Love Guru and You Don't Mess With the Zohan: Insults to humanity.

[Bristlebane]

What is with this shit? It's literally insulting. Yet another two movies where Adam Sandler and Mike Myers will play essentially the same characters they've been playing for nearly 20 years.

I don't have anything against silly humor, but these movies are just trite, tired, and rehashed. I'm sure they'll make their money back on them, but it's embarassing that they even exist.

[Moontayle]

I actually prefer Adam Sandler when he's just having goofy fun as opposed to quasi-comedy stuff like Click and Spanglish.

[Millie]

The title of this thread made me chuckle, but yeah, I kind of did a facepalm when I first saw the previews for these movies. I mean, really? Way to phone it in, guys.

Zohan looks like it may contain one or two funny lines in 2 hours. Love Guru, probably zero.

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Yeah, Zohan looks like a rental at least, Guru they need to pay me for those two hours.

[Zeste]

I thought Guru could be decent. I won't be seeing it until I can torrent it to my AppleTV though, so, meh. Jessica Alba FTW.

[Millie]

Originally Posted by Zeste

Jessica Alba FTW.

Really, though?

I realize every guy on the planet wants to do terrible things to Jessica Alba (and personally speaking, I just don't see it, but that's a different conversation altogether). But do you really think she brings anything of value to a movie? She's a terrible actress, she certainly isn't funny in comedies, and you can get much better eye candy to fill a role if that's all you're going for. Also, she's never been able to open a movie at the box office (notwithstanding Sin City, which no one really showed up to see solely or even primarily because she was in it).

I wouldn't cast her in a movie if my life depended on it.

[Bristlebane]

Originally Posted by Millie

Really, though?

I realize every guy on the planet wants to do terrible things to Jessica Alba (and personally speaking, I just don't see it, but that's a different conversation altogether). But do you really think she brings anything of value to a movie? She's a terrible actress, she certainly isn't funny in comedies, and you can get much better eye candy to fill a role if that's all you're going for. Also, she's never been able to open a movie at the box office (notwithstanding Sin City, which no one really showed up to see solely or even primarily because she was in it).

I wouldn't cast her in a movie if my life depended on it.

She's proven to be nothing BUT a pretty face. Horrible, horrible "actress." I saw the beginning of the preview for Guru, then a few seconds later I saw Alba in it, and then I KNEW it was going to be garbage.

With her being pregnant and now married, we can only hope her "career" is almost over.

[Brutul Tarew Marr]

Originally Posted by Millie

Really, though?

I realize every guy on the planet wants to do terrible things to Jessica Alba (and personally speaking, I just don't see it, but that's a different conversation altogether). But do you really think she brings anything of value to a movie? She's a terrible actress, she certainly isn't funny in comedies, and you can get much better eye candy to fill a role if that's all you're going for. Also, she's never been able to open a movie at the box office (notwithstanding Sin City, which no one really showed up to see solely or even primarily because she was in it).

I wouldn't cast her in a movie if my life depended on it.

I disagree that you can get much better eye candy, but the rest of this is true. The only way that Jessica Alba would get me to watch a movie just for her was if there was a nude scene .

[Malakriss]

Dark Angel should never have been canceled so Alba could have remained in the TV industry and never done so many shitty films.

[Agraza]

I realize we're singling out Alba because someone professed their undying lust for her, but most of the women on screen are nothing but eye candy. Those that are good actors still have to play the inanimate object half the time. I don't think any deserve extra-special hate for their acting or lack thereof.

What DOES deserve my disgust is lack of naked pics. Alba won't do nude, so she must be ended. If women want to see leading men naked then I support that too. Equal Oppurtunity naked famous people here.

Zohan and Guru will suck.

[Zeste]

Every part of Jessica Alba has the ultimate form, especially her face, straight from God's workbench. She is the crown of all creation and the bane of jealous angels.

[PatrickStar]

I hate Eva Mendes. She can't act her way out of a paper bag. Horrible. That is all.

[Szlia]

The movie itself had many issues, but Jessica Alba carried her own weight in Awake. I still stand firm on my idea that there is no bad actors, only poorly directed actors. It probably takes more work to get a good performance out of Alba than out of some other actors, but it is also highly probable that the hacks directing movies like the Fantastic Four are unable to get a good performance out of anybody.

[qxx]

Every time some guy says he's going to go see a movie because of some hot actress, I just want to kill myself. Some people actually pay to go see movies because of a hot chick in it. Unreal. And people wonder why we get such shitty movies now.

[Nakilos]

The only movie I would pay to see with Jessica Alba in it is the adult film starring me.

That being said, these movies will be bottled terrible, with the Zohan movie presumably being slightly less awful or tolerable to watch on HBO lacking anything better to do. The Love Guru just proves how incredibly irrelevant Mike Meyers has become. The problem with the SNL guys is they typically stick with the shtick that made them popular and don't try to be actual actors. While I don't think people need to latch on to every dog shit indie film ever made, try something with substance, actual characters, not just cheap laughs. Of course, this is what the market will bear. They don't make these movies if people won't go see them, and spend the money on advertising. Both have tons of commercials on CONSTANTLY, that does cost real money, and I think people will go see them because the market has proven they are fine with movies like this, otherwise they wouldn't be made.

But seriously, Jessica Alba is a physically perfect specimen of a woman, she is just so perfectly proportioned she is hard to top. That being said, I don't know anyone who specifically sees Jessica Alba in a movie and says I'm going to see it, and actually does it. I love women, I don't see the appeal of seeing a movie just to see a pretty girl.