Optimism is bad :(

Eager Val'Sharess · 08-21-2002, 06:25 PM

Yesterday a friend asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. I said yes. This was my first mistake.

They put on Mortal Combat : Annihilation. Now, don't get me wrong, when I saw they were putting this on, I was annoyed and didn't want to see it. But I decided to give it a chance none the less. This was my second mistake.

I'll assume that people who read this are a tad bit familiar with Mortal Kombat characters. (unfortunately after seeing this movie I am now)

Rayden, who is supposed to be a thunder god, gives every girl in the movie a once over and asks if she fights as good as she looks. He is played by the same fellow who played Ajax in a movie called The Warriors by Andrew Laszlo, which was actually a pretty entertaining flick. Anyway, he was a bad casting choice.

Jaxx, a black man with cybernetic arms, who is supposed to be this amazing special forces guy, talks in ebonics the entire film. And he, like the thunder god

gives every women the once (or twice) over.

Liu Kang, the savior of the people in the first film, gets his butt kicked by every two bit ninja extra they put in the film. At one point he falls asleep in the desert where he was nearly passing out from the heat. When he wakes up it's night time and he's half buried in snow. Supposedly he's totally in love with this girl named Katana, but when this other girl appears to him in the desert, he makes out with her for a little while, and even finds time to bury his face in her cleavage.

Every single time a bad guy dies or is beaten in the main lair, flames shoot up out of the pit they ALWAYS fall in, and it looks exactly like when people are killed in Austin Powers. If nothing else this movie is good for a few laughs. I remember saying out loud at least three times, "Oh my god... this is pathetic."

This was about halfway through the movie, and there are other crappy things about it up to this point that I won't bother to mention. I stopped the movie at this point and we went out to eat. How I ate after watching such tripe I'll never know.

Let this be a warning! Although it's well known, this is just another example of Video Game --> Movie usually = poo.

Edit: forgot to mention, every time the thunder god gets so much as tapped on the forehead by a bad guy, he goes through a brick wall. There are brick walls ALL over the place in this movie, and boy oh boy he goes through every one of them. I think he went through 6 or 7 by the time I turned off the (term used loosely here) film.

Searyx · 08-21-2002, 07:46 PM

I've seen it. Horrible movie. Usually, movies like this are saved by good choreography (I.E. The original Mortal Combat) This one, however, had TERRIBLE choreography. The scene would change about every other frame (24 fps). The result being a choppy mess where you don't know who is kicking what.

Shuyo · 08-21-2002, 08:38 PM

killing johnny cage in the first 5 minutes = teh suck

Eager Val'Sharess · 08-21-2002, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shuyo
killing johnny cage in the first 5 minutes = teh suck

It sure did.

I played the game a couple times. I'd always be Cage and make a rule for no ranged weapons. He was fun, shadowkick city.

Shuyo · 08-22-2002, 12:00 AM

he used my old fighting strategy, hit em in the balls and run.

Eager Val'Sharess · 08-22-2002, 12:26 AM

So if a girl like myself was pissed at you, you'd be helpless? -wicked grin-

Shuyo · 08-22-2002, 10:34 AM

i said old fighting style for a reason.my new one is quite.... wicked.

Eager Val'Sharess · 08-22-2002, 06:16 PM

I'll just taser you about 50 times, that should do the trick.

Shuyo · 08-22-2002, 07:44 PM

depending on the taser:

if it's one of those that you have to be close to me, your assuming I elt you get that close. THese legs of mine have educated feet on the end.

if its one of those ranged ones then I jsut have to pray that I can dodge it and then move in immediately.

Samus Aran · 08-23-2002, 04:05 AM

Eager... your sig is truly truly gay...

Eager Val'Sharess · 08-23-2002, 11:40 PM

Get whoever does your guilds to make me one then. Besides, the sig. is primarily an in-joke between my friends and I. Sorry your butt-scratching self is so perturbed you had to post about it.

j-k

Gurry · 08-24-2002, 03:50 AM

*HUGGLES*

Alamando · 08-28-2002, 01:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Eager Val'Sharess
Let this be a warning! Although it's well known, this is just another example of Video Game --> Movie usually = poo.

Super Mario Brothers owned. =/

Muuru · 08-28-2002, 12:15 PM

I bet, if done well, undying could make an OK movie :P

Ecksi · 09-03-2002, 06:34 AM

Eager, we agree on one thing. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation sucks.
But the reason it sucks, alas, thats where we differ. You see, you hate the movie from a chicks perspective. I.E. those sexist men make passes at all the scantly clad girls and thats just sexist.

I hate the movie for entirely guy reasons. The fighting: it sucked. And shit, if you're going to have all these super hot chicks, they should at least get naked or have rediculously large breasts with nipple hard on.

I guess its similar to me saying that Fried Green Tomatoes sucks because Sara Jessica Parker didnt fuck all those other women. Or all the other chick flicks I didnt have the option of watching, and try to supress from memory (unless they had nudity or ninjas, like the American Ninja 1-7.)

08-21-2002, 06:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
Eager Val'Sharess Long-winded. Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Old Hickory, TN Posts: 541 -2 Internets	Optimism is bad :( Yesterday a friend asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. I said yes. This was my first mistake. They put on Mortal Combat : Annihilation. Now, don't get me wrong, when I saw they were putting this on, I was annoyed and didn't want to see it. But I decided to give it a chance none the less. This was my second mistake. I'll assume that people who read this are a tad bit familiar with Mortal Kombat characters. (unfortunately after seeing this movie I am now) Rayden, who is supposed to be a thunder god, gives every girl in the movie a once over and asks if she fights as good as she looks. He is played by the same fellow who played Ajax in a movie called The Warriors by Andrew Laszlo, which was actually a pretty entertaining flick. Anyway, he was a bad casting choice. Jaxx, a black man with cybernetic arms, who is supposed to be this amazing special forces guy, talks in ebonics the entire film. And he, like the thunder god gives every women the once (or twice) over. Liu Kang, the savior of the people in the first film, gets his butt kicked by every two bit ninja extra they put in the film. At one point he falls asleep in the desert where he was nearly passing out from the heat. When he wakes up it's night time and he's half buried in snow. Supposedly he's totally in love with this girl named Katana, but when this other girl appears to him in the desert, he makes out with her for a little while, and even finds time to bury his face in her cleavage. Every single time a bad guy dies or is beaten in the main lair, flames shoot up out of the pit they ALWAYS fall in, and it looks exactly like when people are killed in Austin Powers. If nothing else this movie is good for a few laughs. I remember saying out loud at least three times, "Oh my god... this is pathetic." This was about halfway through the movie, and there are other crappy things about it up to this point that I won't bother to mention. I stopped the movie at this point and we went out to eat. How I ate after watching such tripe I'll never know. Let this be a warning! Although it's well known, this is just another example of Video Game --> Movie usually = poo. Edit: forgot to mention, every time the thunder god gets so much as tapped on the forehead by a bad guy, he goes through a brick wall. There are brick walls ALL over the place in this movie, and boy oh boy he goes through every one of them. I think he went through 6 or 7 by the time I turned off the (term used loosely here) film. Last edited by Eager Val'Sharess : 08-21-2002 at 06:39 PM.

08-21-2002, 07:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
Searyx I'm still the master of Mistmoore, dammit! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Cincinnati, OH Posts: 2,072 +0 Internets	I've seen it. Horrible movie. Usually, movies like this are saved by good choreography (I.E. The original Mortal Combat) This one, however, had TERRIBLE choreography. The scene would change about every other frame (24 fps). The result being a choppy mess where you don't know who is kicking what. __________________ "“Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.” --Socrates--

08-24-2002, 03:50 AM	#12 (permalink)
Gurry Hermit Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 48 -1 Internets	TEE-HEE HUGGLES

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08-21-2002, 08:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
Shuyo Undeniably forgotten Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 290 +0 Internets	killing johnny cage in the first 5 minutes = teh suck

08-22-2002, 12:00 AM	#5 (permalink)
Shuyo Undeniably forgotten Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 290 +0 Internets	he used my old fighting strategy, hit em in the balls and run.

08-22-2002, 12:26 AM	#6 (permalink)
Eager Val'Sharess Long-winded. Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Old Hickory, TN Posts: 541 -2 Internets	So if a girl like myself was pissed at you, you'd be helpless? -wicked grin-

08-22-2002, 10:34 AM	#7 (permalink)
Shuyo Undeniably forgotten Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 290 +0 Internets	i said old fighting style for a reason.my new one is quite.... wicked.

08-22-2002, 06:16 PM	#8 (permalink)
Eager Val'Sharess Long-winded. Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Old Hickory, TN Posts: 541 -2 Internets	I'll just taser you about 50 times, that should do the trick.

08-22-2002, 07:44 PM	#9 (permalink)
Shuyo Undeniably forgotten Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 290 +0 Internets	depending on the taser: if it's one of those that you have to be close to me, your assuming I elt you get that close. THese legs of mine have educated feet on the end. if its one of those ranged ones then I jsut have to pray that I can dodge it and then move in immediately.

08-23-2002, 04:05 AM	#10 (permalink)
Samus Aran Sons of the Storm Heal Bitch Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 771 +2 Internets	Eager... your sig is truly truly gay...

08-23-2002, 11:40 PM	#11 (permalink)
Eager Val'Sharess Long-winded. Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Old Hickory, TN Posts: 541 -2 Internets	Get whoever does your guilds to make me one then. Besides, the sig. is primarily an in-joke between my friends and I. Sorry your butt-scratching self is so perturbed you had to post about it. j-k

08-28-2002, 12:15 PM	#14 (permalink)
Muuru Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 134 -1 Internets	I bet, if done well, undying could make an OK movie :P

09-03-2002, 06:34 AM	#15 (permalink)
Ecksi Banned Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 63 +0 Internets	Eager, we agree on one thing. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation sucks. But the reason it sucks, alas, thats where we differ. You see, you hate the movie from a chicks perspective. I.E. those sexist men make passes at all the scantly clad girls and thats just sexist. I hate the movie for entirely guy reasons. The fighting: it sucked. And shit, if you're going to have all these super hot chicks, they should at least get naked or have rediculously large breasts with nipple hard on. I guess its similar to me saying that Fried Green Tomatoes sucks because Sara Jessica Parker didnt fuck all those other women. Or all the other chick flicks I didnt have the option of watching, and try to supress from memory (unless they had nudity or ninjas, like the American Ninja 1-7.)