The Karate Kid Trilogy...

[Trainwreck jm]

Bill Simmons, aka "The Sport Guy", writes a couple of columns a week for ESPN.com, but often veers away from pure sports to discuss Movies, TV, Nintendo and other matters of grave importance. He's the kind of guy you want in the room when a bad movie is on cable =)

The link below is his recap of what he calls "The Greatest Movie Trilogy of All Time", The Karate Kid's I, II, and III. Check it out, its funny as hell =)

http://espn.go.com/page2/movies/s/simmons/020830.html

a couple of excerpts:

This was also Ralph Macchio's defining movie, and that sentence is funny enough in itself. But seriously, who else could have played Daniel-San? By the end of the movie, you actually believe that 1) Daniel could beat everyone from Cobra Kai in a karate tournament, and 2) he would have no problem wooing a young Elisabeth Shue (looking yummy here, even with the extra baby fat), which remains one of the all-time movie stretches.

Hey, this kid's 5-foot-7, he weighs 100 pounds, he can't defend himself, he has no money and no car, we run in different social circles, his mom has to drive him on dates, and everyone hates him. ... I think I'm in love!
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underrated cast members really helped the cause here:

...Billy Zabka's watershed performance as the villainous Johnny Lawrence (Daniel-San's nemesis and the head of the Cobra Kai), which launched his much-lauded career as the definitive '80s movie villain. In my opinion, he has entered that rare group of actors who only need to go by one name: Eastwood, Stallone, Hanks, Cruise, Nicholson ... and Zabka.

(Note: Some of my readers have been pining for a "Billy Zabka DVD Collection" -- "Karate Kid," "Just One of the Guys" and "Back to School," with director's commentary from Zabka and deleted scenes -- and frankly, there's still time. They could even call it "Zabka!" It's a no-brainer. Like you wouldn't buy this?)
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...this prompts a painful scene in which Daniel-San arrives at the airport just as Miyagi is boarding his plane, leading to some "Please, let me come with you" begging and this hair-raising quote:

"Mr. Miyagi, you're more important than college, you're more important than anything to me."

(Yup ... this was the point in the trilogy in which the Daniel-Miyagi relationship could officially be described as "a little uncomfortable.")
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Unfortunately, Sato is still around as well, accompanied by his evil nephew, best described as "The Japanese Zabka" (the JZ).

And we go from there. The JZ immediately starts feuding with Daniel-San; it doesn't matter if he's in America or Japan, folks, there's just something about Daniel-San that rubs people the wrong way.
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If you liked that, here's a link to his recap of 'Hoosiers'...

http://espn.go.com/page2/movies/s/simmons/020827.html

"12:23: If every female on the planet were like Barbara Hershey in "Hoosiers," the murder-suicide rate in this country would go through the roof. She just gave coach the "Stay away from Jimmy, I don't want him coaching in Hickory when he's 50" dig. She's a delight. I can't believe she's single. "


and video game related: his review of Madden 2003 and the history of Video Football

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/020814.html

"1. Bo Jackson (late-'80s): Anyone who played video games in the late-'80s discusses Bo Jackson reverentially, in hushed tones ... you can't even understand unless you were there. If ESPN ever decided to run a "SportsCentury and Beyond: Video Bo Jackson" episode, they could easily fill the hour just with people telling Tecmo Bowl stories about Bo. Nobody else was even close."

[Nanaki Ikanan]

I would tell you more, but it was difficult for me to watch the movie with blood pouring from both eyes.

Rofl

[Ritkhan]

The worse thing about Karate kid was that Ralph was 24 when he did Karate Kid 1 and looked like he was only 14. And by Karate Kid 3 he was 30 with a big ass beer gut. Did you know that the Villan in Karate Kid 3 was 2 years younger than Ralph Macchio rofl. Part 1 was funny, part 2 was ok, Part 3 was ass. Those movies will forever remain dead along with the 80s.

[Kerra]

Not to mention his voice sounds like a woman trying to sound like a man. *I* could sound more macho than macchio.

[Ayeshala]

This made me laugh so hard my sides hurt (spoiler) :

That reminds me, when you're watching this movie with buddies and pulling the "Mystery Science Theater" routine, remember this tip: Every time Daniel-San and Mr. Miyagi have a scene together, crack jokes in the Miyagi voice like, "Daniel-San, take off your shirt, Miyagi show you special massage trick."

(Guaranteed laughs for the entire room. It gets contagious. Pretty soon, everyone will be narrating things like "You know, Daniel-San, you built a little like Miyagi's first wife." Never gets old. I'm tellin' you, everyone will think you're a comedic genius. Just trust me on this.)

[Kaylum]

Originally posted by Ayeshala
This made me laugh so hard my sides hurt (spoiler) :

That reminds me, when you're watching this movie with buddies and pulling the "Mystery Science Theater" routine, remember this tip: Every time Daniel-San and Mr. Miyagi have a scene together, crack jokes in the Miyagi voice like, "Daniel-San, take off your shirt, Miyagi show you special massage trick."

(Guaranteed laughs for the entire room. It gets contagious. Pretty soon, everyone will be narrating things like "You know, Daniel-San, you built a little like Miyagi's first wife." Never gets old. I'm tellin' you, everyone will think you're a comedic genius. Just trust me on this.)

precisely why i watch movies alone. i cant stand anyone talking during a movie. if the movie is so old or seen so many times that people talking over it is more entertaining than the movie; than i shouldnt/wouldnt be watching it in the first place.

but im a grumpy hermit with no social skills, so dont mind me.

[James]

What about Karate Bitch or whatever that one was with the chick?

[Kaylum]

Originally posted by James
What about Karate Bitch or whatever that one was with the chick?

its been a long time since ive seen any of them; but wasnt the chick flick number 4?

the KK "trilogy" is just the ones with daniel. (i think)

[Actovus]

What about Karate Bitch or whatever that one was with the chick?

ROFL yea..it was called the NExt Karate Kid with Miaggi collecting a paycheck. If you look closely you can see a pin on his shirt that says "BULLION"

[Jaytee Bushwacker]

The old girlfriend is still around (caring for Miyagi's father), and in the WATFO's of WATFO's, she has a daughter who digs Daniel-San.

Ok wtf does WATFO's mean...I'm pretty sure theres a "What" and a "Fuck" in there but whats the rest?

[Trainwreck jm]

WATFO = What are the Fucking Odds???