XXX (Go away pr0n fiends)

Ertaisi · 08-08-2002, 10:17 PM

I just got home from watching a sneak of XXX. The movie is AMAZING! I went into it thinking it was going to be a good movie about on par with Fast and the Furious, but I was blown away.

The best thing I can say is that XXX appears to be a New Age James Bond and I won't complain in the least if there are as many sequels as that series has.

You think you've seen Vin Diesel as a badass? Think again. He is now on my personal 'favorite actor' pedestal alongside Matt Damon. If their types of acting intersected and I had to choose one, I don't know what I would do...probably explode.

See XXX, you won't be dissapointed unless you abhor action movies.

Searyx · 08-08-2002, 10:25 PM

Copied and Pasted from the IMDB:

Quote:

This movie is an insult to the film reel it was contained in.

OK, let me begin by saying that if you had any faith in the ability of Hollywood to generate a quality product, abandon hope all ye who enter the theater. XXX or "Triple X" Starring Vin Diesel and Samuel L. Jackson is the enchanting tale of "X-TREME" sports star Xander, the stereotypical bad boy complete with menacing scar, abominable catch phrases and KUNG FU GRIP! By some inane twist of fate, Xander ends up being drugged and enlisted in the services of Samuel L. Jackson, to be a "secret agent". Apparently in this fantasy setting, being a "secret agent" means the exact opposite. The last time I checked, a spy did not jump a dirtbike over an exploding fence while tending to his equally explosive libido with another "wannabe" bond girl.

As far as plot concerns, the living product endorsement (Diesel) is sent on "practice missions" before taking on the assignment to stop terrorist group Anarchy 99. The group of well dressed ravers apparently want to unleash a virus ominously titled "Silent Night", and it is up to our very own tattooed love boy to overcome the forces of evil with more explosions and even cheesier one liners. As you can see the plot and script are not overly hindered by logic. All in all, if you have experienced a full frontal lobotomy, take numerous behavior altering drugs, or have the attention span of the common housefly, this film is for you. However if you are looking for oddities like plot, dialogue and character development, then you will find more of this substance in "Juwana Mann" or "The Substitute III". Overall, this film is not a cinematic cornerstone, rather, it is a crack in the foundation.

I like Vin Diesel, so as long as the movie works on it's OWN terms, I'll probably like it.

Eomer · 08-08-2002, 10:40 PM

Whoever wrote that review needs to come down from their fucking high horse. I haven't seen the movie myself, so I can't tell you if it's entertaining. But I can tell you that the movie has no pretentions of being a cinematic masterpiece, or leaving a lasting impression on society. It's a fucking action movie for christ's sake, a spy one at that. Since when did Bond bother itself much with deep plots? You know exactly how it will end 10 minutes in, yet it's probably the most successful franchise of movies there is.

The whole idea of the movie is to be a brainless excuse to do ridiculous stunts, with the occasional hot chick and maybe even a little bit of plot. Expecting it to be anything else is like buying a Slipknot album and complaining that there wasn't nearly enough cello in it.

Xaen · 08-08-2002, 10:54 PM

Okay, once the comparison of Fast and the Furious and "good" were made, I have decided I will stay very very far away. Holy crap that movie sucked Uncle Ben dry like you wouldn't believe.

Ugh. !

Ertaisi · 08-08-2002, 11:07 PM

That's fine, Xaen. You don't like that genre of movie, that's all.

Zignor · 08-08-2002, 11:12 PM

F&TF bugged me more from a car enthusiest standpoint than a movie enthusiest standpoint. That said it was still mediocre at best. XXX looks mildy entertaining. Think I'll wait for the DVD, though.

skalls · 08-08-2002, 11:31 PM

even though the funny thing is itll cost you more money to buy the dvd than sit the hour and a half to 2 hours to watch the movie =)

Iannis · 08-09-2002, 01:04 AM

Question. Now, on the commercials(i'm not sure who says it) but the XXX character is described as "The best of the worst."

Doesn't that just make him mediocre?

Ertaisi · 08-09-2002, 01:16 AM

Nope. Watch the movie to understand.

Zignor · 08-09-2002, 06:34 AM

Quote:

even though the funny thing is itll cost you more money to buy the dvd than sit the hour and a half to 2 hours to watch the movie =)

Now see, 'round my way we have these magical mysterious places called Blockbusters or some such jibberish. A coupla bucks gets ya one of them movies fer a close to a week! Dunno the mechanics behind it but it's pretty wild stuff I reckon.

skalls · 08-09-2002, 06:49 AM

ya, round these parts they have those things called blockbuster too, and if you goto a mantinee its gonna cost you the same(less any refreshments or food) if you had rented a new rental

Zignor · 08-09-2002, 07:28 AM

A Matinee is at least $5.50 +$7 for popcorn and a small soda. Blockbuster is what, $2-3 a rental period?

Like I said, I'll wait for the DVD.

Searyx · 08-09-2002, 10:52 AM

Around MY parts, they got this coow thing where ye get to OWN da movie on some sorta piece of shinny plastic. Unlike dem theaters where ya pay 10 smackers for one sitting, with these plastic thingies, you get to pay 20 bucks for PERMANENT OWNERSHIP!

I'll be, they come up with the darndest things, don't dey?

FanBuss · 08-09-2002, 11:22 AM

I think Eomer said it best.

And since was james bond subtle about his friggin spy activites? I seem to recall a shit load of explosions and bodies laying around after bond came through a local. That reviewer can suck my hairy ballz.

Eomer · 08-09-2002, 02:25 PM

lol, how secret of an agent can you be, if the first sentence you say to any hot chick is "Bond... James Bond."

If you want halfway realistic spy stories, Tom Clancy books (NOT movies) are pretty good and realistic for that. They are at least believable. And Mr Clark can kick XXX or Bond's ass anyday.

08-08-2002, 10:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
Ertaisi I gave Furor porn. Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 46 -1 Internets	XXX (Go away pr0n fiends) I just got home from watching a sneak of XXX. The movie is AMAZING! I went into it thinking it was going to be a good movie about on par with Fast and the Furious, but I was blown away. The best thing I can say is that XXX appears to be a New Age James Bond and I won't complain in the least if there are as many sequels as that series has. You think you've seen Vin Diesel as a badass? Think again. He is now on my personal 'favorite actor' pedestal alongside Matt Damon. If their types of acting intersected and I had to choose one, I don't know what I would do...probably explode. See XXX, you won't be dissapointed unless you abhor action movies.

08-09-2002, 10:52 AM	#13 (permalink)
Searyx I'm still the master of Mistmoore, dammit! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Cincinnati, OH Posts: 2,072 +0 Internets	Around MY parts, they got this coow thing where ye get to OWN da movie on some sorta piece of shinny plastic. Unlike dem theaters where ya pay 10 smackers for one sitting, with these plastic thingies, you get to pay 20 bucks for PERMANENT OWNERSHIP! I'll be, they come up with the darndest things, don't dey? __________________ "“Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.” --Socrates--

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08-08-2002, 10:40 PM	#3 (permalink)
Eomer You mean I can change this? Neat! Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 10,193 +38 Internets	Whoever wrote that review needs to come down from their fucking high horse. I haven't seen the movie myself, so I can't tell you if it's entertaining. But I can tell you that the movie has no pretentions of being a cinematic masterpiece, or leaving a lasting impression on society. It's a fucking action movie for christ's sake, a spy one at that. Since when did Bond bother itself much with deep plots? You know exactly how it will end 10 minutes in, yet it's probably the most successful franchise of movies there is. The whole idea of the movie is to be a brainless excuse to do ridiculous stunts, with the occasional hot chick and maybe even a little bit of plot. Expecting it to be anything else is like buying a Slipknot album and complaining that there wasn't nearly enough cello in it.

08-08-2002, 10:54 PM	#4 (permalink)
Xaen Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 888 +0 Internets	Okay, once the comparison of Fast and the Furious and "good" were made, I have decided I will stay very very far away. Holy crap that movie sucked Uncle Ben dry like you wouldn't believe. Ugh. !

08-08-2002, 11:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ertaisi I gave Furor porn. Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 46 -1 Internets	That's fine, Xaen. You don't like that genre of movie, that's all.

08-08-2002, 11:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
Zignor Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 196 -1 Internets	F&TF bugged me more from a car enthusiest standpoint than a movie enthusiest standpoint. That said it was still mediocre at best. XXX looks mildy entertaining. Think I'll wait for the DVD, though.

08-08-2002, 11:31 PM	#7 (permalink)
skalls Registered User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 134 -4 Internets	even though the funny thing is itll cost you more money to buy the dvd than sit the hour and a half to 2 hours to watch the movie =)

08-09-2002, 01:04 AM	#8 (permalink)
Iannis Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Butt Hugging Moose Jockey Posts: 4,968 +0 Internets	Question. Now, on the commercials(i'm not sure who says it) but the XXX character is described as "The best of the worst." Doesn't that just make him mediocre?

08-09-2002, 01:16 AM	#9 (permalink)
Ertaisi I gave Furor porn. Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 46 -1 Internets	Nope. Watch the movie to understand.

08-09-2002, 06:49 AM	#11 (permalink)
skalls Registered User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 134 -4 Internets	ya, round these parts they have those things called blockbuster too, and if you goto a mantinee its gonna cost you the same(less any refreshments or food) if you had rented a new rental

08-09-2002, 07:28 AM	#12 (permalink)
Zignor Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 196 -1 Internets	A Matinee is at least $5.50 +$7 for popcorn and a small soda. Blockbuster is what, $2-3 a rental period? Like I said, I'll wait for the DVD.

08-09-2002, 11:22 AM	#14 (permalink)
FanBuss hates O RLY Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 1,378 -1 Internets	I think Eomer said it best. And since was james bond subtle about his friggin spy activites? I seem to recall a shit load of explosions and bodies laying around after bond came through a local. That reviewer can suck my hairy ballz.

08-09-2002, 02:25 PM	#15 (permalink)
Eomer You mean I can change this? Neat! Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 10,193 +38 Internets	lol, how secret of an agent can you be, if the first sentence you say to any hot chick is "Bond... James Bond." If you want halfway realistic spy stories, Tom Clancy books (NOT movies) are pretty good and realistic for that. They are at least believable. And Mr Clark can kick XXX or Bond's ass anyday.