XXX (Go away pr0n fiends)

[Bristlebane]

I just have a hard time viewing Vin Diesel as a respectable actor. The man just sounds ignorant. I saw him on Leno the other night, and I turned the channel.

I saw (rather, I was stuck seeing it with friends) The Fast and the Furious. What an utter joke of a movie. Vin's acting ability...laughable.

From the trailer :

"How long have you been a secret agent?"

Vin : "duuuh..doo days."

Anyone remember the slow witted bear from Looney Tunes with the deep voice? That's what he reminds me of.

The only time I'll see XXX is if a friend gets me to go, or rent it when it comes out.

[Ertaisi]

You've got to pay attention to the intent of the movie when judging it. Vin Diesel isn't making a political statement or pulling at your heart in this movie. His purpose is to look like a caricature badass and in my opinion he did just that. Look at the environment he was in. If he had created a deep and meaningful character, he would have looked like a tie-dye colored sheep in a field of white sheep.

If you want to see Vin Diesel create a down-to-earth role, see him in Boiler Room or Saving Private Ryan. In both of those movies, he was more realistic than his last couple movies. He doesn't deliver Oscar-winning performances in those movies, but he pulls it off acceptably.

I don't think realistic movies is where Vin Diesel's abilities shine. I think it took him awhile (Hell, he even wrote one or two movies although they were nothing special), but he's now found his role as the Gen-X action flick hero.

There was Sean Connery/Roger Moore, Arnold Schwarzeneggar (how the fuck is his name spelled?), Sylvester Stallone, Steven Seagall, Chuck Norris, etc...now Vin Diesel.

If you look at XXX with this intent in mind, you may be able to see a more accurate picture of his performance.

Of course, that's just my opinion, I may be wrong.

[vkuruv]

Matt Damon is a pussy.


p.s. "The man just sounds ignorant. I saw him on Leno the other night, and I turned the channel."

If you turned the channel without hearing him out, then YOU are the ignorant one.

[Bristlebane]

I heard enough of it, heh. Almost to the end.

I heard him fumbling talking about how he used be a telemarketer. Why doesn't that surprise me.

[Eomer]

From what I have read about him, he actually comes across as being a pretty intelligent guy. But that's my opinion. As far as acting ability goes, the only moderately serious movie I have seen him in was Saving Private Ryan, which was his first movie, and he did fine there. I think prior to that he did stage acting in New York or something.

If you want to see another movie with him in it, go catch Pitch Black. It's actually a very very good movie, it's really cool how the colors change from the start of the movie to the end. If you watch it you will see what I mean. Vin is badass in that, fights Aliens hand to hand and shit. Very good movie.

[Ritkhan]

Now let me come out and first say i like Diesel and enjoyed Fast and Furious on some really cheap late night level.

I think Rambo 2 and 3 where funny to watch and if im bored i could sit through them. Terminator, etc. All watchable.

Today i just saw XXX and i'd have to say that i didnt feel so physically raped since watching Godzilla and Jurasic Park 2. These type of movies i can actually fall asleep through. It's like watching a 2 hour long mountain dew commercial. And to top it off, if youre going to bore the fuck out of me with over the top video game action then you might as well give me some blood and guts and swearing. But NOOOOO...they make the movie PG13 rofl. I think like 3 guys die through out the whole movie and there is no blood, no swearing. It always amazes me how these type of shit movies can have so much action, be so loud, and be so god damn boring at the same time. Why is it that i can watch Rambo 3 but i fall asleep watching shit like XXX. It's the realm of realism. At least Rambo sometimes gets capture and gets his ass kicked before he comes back and kills everyone. Sometimes even gets shot and his girlfriend gets killed. But when you have god-like characters like in XXX where there is no risk involved it's just boring.

The first review that the Max Payne dude posted was correct %100. Dont waste your time watching XXX. Not so much for the money, but for the 2 hours of your life you'll never get back.

[Searyx]

XXX / ***1/2 (PG-13)

August 9, 2002







Xander Cage: Vin Diesel
Agent Gibbons: Samuel L. Jackson
Yelena: Asia Argento
Yorgi: Marton Csokas
Janelle: TeeJay Boyce
Columbia Pictures presents a film directed by Rob Cohen. Written by Rich Wilkes. Running time: 111 minutes. Rated PG-13 (for violence, nonstop action sequences, sensuality, drug content and language).









BY ROGER EBERT


'XXX" stars Vin Diesel as a smart-ass Bond with a bad attitude. The filmmakers have broken down the James Bond series into its inevitable components, constructed a screenplay that rips off 007 even in the small details, and then placed Diesel at the center of it--as Xander Cage, extreme sports hero and outlaw. In its own punk way, "XXX" is as good as a good Bond movie, and that's saying something.

Diesel is a tough guy with the shaved head, the tattoos and the throwaway one-liners (after he's busted for stealing a car and driving it off a bridge, he says, "It was only a Corvette."). In last summer's "The Fast and the Furious," he hurtled cars down city streets in death-defying races. As we meet him in "XXX," he's a famous sports daredevil who steals computer chips and cars and is finally hunted down by Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson), a National Security Agency spymaster with a scarred face and a role inspired by M in the Bond series.

If Bond is a patriot, Xander is a man who looks out only for No. 1, until Gibbons threatens him with prison unless he agrees to go to the Czech Republic and stop a madman with, yes, a plan to destroy and/or conquer the world. This villain, named Yorgi (Marton Csokas), apparently lives in the Prague Castle, which will come as a surprise to President Vaclav Havel. He's a renegade officer of the evil Czech Secret Service; the movie doesn't seem to know that the Cold War is over and Czechs are good guys these days, but never mind: The movie was shot on location in Prague, part of the current filmmaking boom in the republic, and the scenery is terrific.

Director Rob Cohen and producer Neal H. Mortiz, who also made "The Fast and the Furious," follow the Bond formula so carefully this would be a satire if it weren't intended as a homage. We click off the 007 check points: (1) Villain in lair hidden within mountain, with faceless minions busily going about tasks; (2) a beautiful girl, former KGB, named Yelena (Asia Argento), who seems to be Yorgi's girlfriend but falls for Xander; (3) a techno-geek who supplies Xander with a trick gun and a customized GTO that has an arsenal on board; (4) stunts involving parachuting, mountains, avalanches and explosions; (5) a chase at the end to save the world, and (6), my favorite, the obligatory final scene where the hero basks in Bora Bora with the beautiful girl in a bikini, while his boss tries to persuade him to take another job.

Will he take another job? Of course he will. Xander Cage is a new franchise, and Vin Diesel, who was walking around Sundance a few years ago telling everyone he would someday be a big star, was right.

I love the lengths that villains go to in these movies. Consider Yorgi. He has devised an incredibly expensive steel speedboat armed with three rockets containing canisters of poison gas. This speedboat is inside a mountain cavern far below his lair. It is his superweapon for world domination. Fine, except where can a boat go in the landlocked Czech Republic? Down the Danube through Budapest and Vienna? In the event, he decides to attack Prague itself, and we're wondering: Considering how much it cost him to hollow out the mountain and build the boat, why not just put the gas canisters into a car and drive into town? Yorgi is the kind of bad guy who is beloved by the architects of the "star wars" defense, staging an attack that is cumbersome, costly and visible, instead of just delivering the goods by FedEx.

As the boat speeds down the river into town, Xander does a stunt that is not only exciting but, even better, impossible. As the Russian babe pilots the GTO on a road parallel to the river, Xander fires a steel cable, which attaches to the boat, and then he transfers from the car to the boat using the cable and a parasail. Wonderful, except ... do you suppose there are any lamp posts, traffic lights or telephone poles along the road that the cable might get hung up on?

Never mind. Now Xander's on board, trying to disarm the canisters by using a slicked-up cyber-version of the old standby where he has to decide between the green wire and the red wire. Meanwhile, Gibbons has a vantage point on one of the bridges, and is commanding fighter planes that are prepared to blast the boat out of the water, no doubt thereby dispersing the poison gas, but c'est la vie.

See, I like all this stuff, at least when it's done well. Diesel's gruff, monosyllabic style is refreshing as a counterpoint to the gung-ho action, and the romantic scenes with the beautiful Yelena consist of two kisses, because Xander has a world to save. The music is aggressive heavy metal by the German band Rammstein, and Csokas, as the villain, has one of those fleshy, sneering faces, surrounded by too much greasy hair, that goes with his central European accent. Oddly, he isn't from Transylvania at all, but from New Zealand, and you may have seen him on "Xena." He likes to play opposite characters with X-names.

Is "XXX" a threat to the Bond franchise? Not a threat so much as a salute. I don't want James Bond to turn crude and muscular on me; I like the suave style. But I like Xander, too, especially since he seems to have studied Bond so very carefully. Consider the movie's big set piece, totally in the 007 tradition, when Xander parachutes to a mountaintop, surveys the bad guys on ski-mobiles below, throws a grenade to start an avalanche, and then outraces the avalanche on a snowboard while the bad guys are wiped out. Not bad. Now all he has to work on is the kissing.







Copyright © Chicago Sun-Times Inc.

[Szlia]

Now.... how in the hell did Asia Argento get involved in this movie?

[Ritkhan]

remember that Ebert also called Diesel the "Premier actor of the 21st Centuty". So i think he would of been less kind to the movie had it been with someone other than Diesel.

[Liringlas]

i like vin desil, i will probobly go see XXX, but not the first weekend. probobly some matenee when i have some spare time durring the week.

[Vellie]

Saw the movie tonight, and I feel I got what I paid for...

I did not go looking for a romance, a comedy, or a historic story. Its an action movie, and there is plenty of loud action. I was tossed up on Fast and the Furious, but XXX pulled a much better view of Vin Diesel in action compared to last year's car flick. I guess if you are looking for an oscar winning spectacle of a movie, then you missed the complete point of the genre.

[Ritkhan]

The only genre this movie is in is the "crap movie" genre. And if there is a point to the "crap movie" genre other than making money, then yes, i have missed it. And dont tell me this was an action movie and that i shouldn't be looking for oscar material here. It was a "crap movie" plain and simple. The intended genre had nothing to do with it

[Muuru]

Edit: Some mini-spoiler stuff, mostly from the trailers, and it won't give away the plot, but if you wanna see this movie and have it "blow you away" or something, don't read my post :P


















One thing I didn't really like about this movie, is there were some things that were intended to be entirely nonsensical(getting all of that in a gto and it can still move, in what, a days time?), but other parts at least *seemed* like they were supposed to make sense. Like that whole avalanche thing, or how the door to the secret basement lair isn't locked(sure there's guards, but taking out guards is easier than taking out a door). The best part of the movie I think, was how they had that great big steel supa-vault door, set into a BRICK WALL. What kind of fucking tard does that? I mean seriously, if that was SUPPOSED to be hilarious, then gratz to the director, he wins the prize :P

[Valde Fandango]

Much like Resident Evil it was better than i expected, so I would consider it a pretty decent flick.

[TimmyZaid]

i'll never watch this movie, mostly because of the way diseal acts. i can't stand him at all... he's all like "look at me, i changed my name to diseal so i'm a bad ass." well, i got news for him, he's a big fuckin pussy. if he were so bad ass he'd do his own stunts. he wouldn't care so much about his persona. another thing that really chaps my ass is how he signed contracts for the sequal and like 2 other leading roles based on the performance of XXX before it even opened... that right there is complete and total bullshit. i thought they made sequals after the original came out because the public wanted more? oh yea, thats only people that actually care about making movies, not the ones who think they can force feed a hollywood movie down our throats to make a few hundred million. this movie will do really good, i have no doubt about that, because of the senseless idiots out there that will go see it cause vin diseal is "hot." me?... i wouldn't get caught dead in a theater watchin this shit.