Alone in the Dark

MorinkhanMT · 01-29-2005, 08:55 PM

For the love of all things holy, don't see it.

The best part of the movie was laughing at how stinkycheese it was.

Don't even get to see any nekkidness as a slight redemption.

Definitely one of the worst movies I've seen in years.

EnigmaticParadigm · 01-29-2005, 09:20 PM

Yeah, Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 1%. To put that in perspective, it scored lower than Yuh Gi Oh (sp?) The Movie.

Yeah, thats bad.

Edit: Bwahahah! This movie was directed by the same retard that did House of the Dead. Cap'n! Cap'n!

Ham n Cheese · 01-29-2005, 09:20 PM

If you had to watch this to know that, I feel sorry for you

Cybsled · 01-31-2005, 05:48 AM

You should have known this would suck the second you learned it was the House of the Dead director ;p

Isnt he making Bloodrayne too though? That brings tears to my eyes ;(

Zinke · 02-03-2005, 12:53 PM

I didn't go see Alone in the dark on opening weekend because I didn't want to see it alone in the dark... *rimshot* yea corny I know.
Anyways, yea Uwe Boll directed this. I have not seen a single one of his movies, I also have not had my testicles crushed in a vice. I don't think I need to experienc either firsthand to confirm the rumors.

Unfortunately, there isn't much to stop him from making more movies. He has some financial fund through investors in his native country that allows him to goto the video game companies, who have little to no experience with the movie industry, and offer them deals that have a minimum of fuss compared to a normal hollywood studio. It's like 'here's some money, we can start shooting in 2 months.. or you can wait a year for Miramax to get around to working on it'. Since his horrible movies are getting shot with a relatively low budget, they are still breaking even when overseas money and rentals get factored in. So, the investors aren't upset.

Luckily, some of the smarter game companies are seeing the bad press in the geek community, and are starting to reject Uwe Boll's offers. Blood Rayne was not one of them..

Szlia · 02-06-2005, 10:18 PM

www.uweboll.com

!

Khalikryst · 02-07-2005, 12:01 PM

Mr Cranky about summed it up for me too. I'm sorry I wasted a free pass on this thing.

"Fear is what protects you from the things you don't believe in." Wish it would have protected me from this horrible fucking movie.

Awanka · 03-01-2005, 07:31 PM

The first time I heard about this movie's release, I was excited for all of 10 seconds. I thought it would be based on "Alone in the Dark," the great Lovecraftian PC game that came out 10 years ago, which was the originator of the survival-horror genre.

And than I learned that it's based on some crappy console game.

Szlia · 03-01-2005, 08:00 PM

The Alone in the Dark on console were the same than the Alone in the Dark on PC. Now it may be based on the most recent one, Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare, which is also Lovecraftian but I think in a contemporary setting.

Millie · 03-02-2005, 06:53 AM

Uwe Boll has basically become the go-to guy in Hollywood for shitty video game adaptations. He'll whore out his self-respect to the highest bidder. In all fairness, I bet he makes a very respectable living doing so.

Cybsled · 03-02-2005, 07:49 AM

Self Respect? Heh the guy is like a modern day Ed Wood...he -THINKS- he is making these kick ass movies and is passionate about them. Too bad they suck ;p

But hey, maybe 30-40 years from now people will dig his stuff out and he'll become a cult hit.

Or maybe not.

Warrik · 03-02-2005, 09:09 AM

Horrible

Fris_Leafshadow · 03-02-2005, 02:32 PM

House of the Dead rocked until the Asian chick in the American Flag tights got dead

01-29-2005, 08:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
MorinkhanMT Registered User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 229 -1 Internets	Alone in the Dark For the love of all things holy, don't see it. The best part of the movie was laughing at how stinkycheese it was. Don't even get to see any nekkidness as a slight redemption. Definitely one of the worst movies I've seen in years.

01-29-2005, 09:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
EnigmaticParadigm Is Kermit gunna have to make a bitch go "GLARRRRGH?!" Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Pre World War III America Posts: 2,426 +38 Internets	Yeah, Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 1%. To put that in perspective, it scored lower than Yuh Gi Oh (sp?) The Movie. Yeah, thats bad. Edit: Bwahahah! This movie was directed by the same retard that did House of the Dead. Cap'n! Cap'n! __________________ Last edited by EnigmaticParadigm : 01-29-2005 at 09:23 PM.

01-29-2005, 09:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
Ham n Cheese You can betray me Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston Posts: 8,611 +15 Internets	If you had to watch this to know that, I feel sorry for you __________________ Xeph Caito Cao'Li Hunky Dory

01-31-2005, 05:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
Cybsled Registered User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 9,043	You should have known this would suck the second you learned it was the House of the Dead director ;p Isnt he making Bloodrayne too though? That brings tears to my eyes ;( __________________ Training the citizens of Norrath from 1999-2003!

02-06-2005, 10:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
Szlia Conquest Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Switzerland Posts: 4,612 +5 Internets	www.uweboll.com ! __________________ -retrosabotage-

02-03-2005, 12:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
Zinke I think I'm drunk enough to drive you home. Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: What is, is. Posts: 2,458 +0 Internets	I didn't go see Alone in the dark on opening weekend because I didn't want to see it alone in the dark... rimshot yea corny I know. Anyways, yea Uwe Boll directed this. I have not seen a single one of his movies, I also have not had my testicles crushed in a vice. I don't think I need to experienc either firsthand to confirm the rumors. Unfortunately, there isn't much to stop him from making more movies. He has some financial fund through investors in his native country that allows him to goto the video game companies, who have little to no experience with the movie industry, and offer them deals that have a minimum of fuss compared to a normal hollywood studio. It's like 'here's some money, we can start shooting in 2 months.. or you can wait a year for Miramax to get around to working on it'. Since his horrible movies are getting shot with a relatively low budget, they are still breaking even when overseas money and rentals get factored in. So, the investors aren't upset. Luckily, some of the smarter game companies are seeing the bad press in the geek community, and are starting to reject Uwe Boll's offers. Blood Rayne was not one of them..

02-07-2005, 12:01 PM	#7 (permalink)
Khalikryst OotS MMO plz Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,165 +0 Internets	Mr Cranky about summed it up for me too. I'm sorry I wasted a free pass on this thing. "Fear is what protects you from the things you don't believe in." Wish it would have protected me from this horrible fucking movie.

03-01-2005, 07:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
Awanka Seething with dark power and -internets Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 1,715 -45 Internets	The first time I heard about this movie's release, I was excited for all of 10 seconds. I thought it would be based on "Alone in the Dark," the great Lovecraftian PC game that came out 10 years ago, which was the originator of the survival-horror genre. And than I learned that it's based on some crappy console game.

03-01-2005, 08:00 PM	#9 (permalink)
Szlia Conquest Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Switzerland Posts: 4,612 +5 Internets	The Alone in the Dark on console were the same than the Alone in the Dark on PC. Now it may be based on the most recent one, Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare, which is also Lovecraftian but I think in a contemporary setting. __________________ -retrosabotage-

03-02-2005, 06:53 AM	#10 (permalink)
Millie Feisty Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 5,715	Uwe Boll has basically become the go-to guy in Hollywood for shitty video game adaptations. He'll whore out his self-respect to the highest bidder. In all fairness, I bet he makes a very respectable living doing so. __________________

03-02-2005, 07:49 AM	#11 (permalink)
Cybsled Registered User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 9,043	Self Respect? Heh the guy is like a modern day Ed Wood...he -THINKS- he is making these kick ass movies and is passionate about them. Too bad they suck ;p But hey, maybe 30-40 years from now people will dig his stuff out and he'll become a cult hit. Or maybe not. __________________ Training the citizens of Norrath from 1999-2003!

03-02-2005, 09:09 AM	#12 (permalink)
Warrik Ive been reading these boards since noows....that makes me uber Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 2,088 -3 Internets	Horrible

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