Post shit you've written.

Tea on tuesday · 11-11-2006, 05:42 PM

I know there must be some other writers lurking around here, so I'll take the plunge and kick this off with the rough draft of the first page of my latest story.

George was eight when he was struck by an impenetrable pyrexic phantasmagoria. His vocabulary became a twisted mash of circular word associations that lead to indecipherable conclusions. His tiny pores poured open an immensity of sweat like a faucet whose valves were too rusty to fully close, which seemed to unlock a malignant odor in the skin that had been intended by its creator to remain caged within until death and then decomposition would release it back into the world as a harbinger of sorrow. Still, none of the boy’s relatives that came to see him could leave without remarking upon the scent of lavender lurking just below the overpowering aroma like a nearby battlefield in which both armies had annihilated each other and so laid wedded together as their bodies returned to the earth.

At first the boy’s parents had tried diligently to change his sheets hourly and bathe him daily in the coldest water they could find. When there were no more dry sheets they placed buckets around his bed as if he were an old roof in the summer storms. Soon, however, their zeal dissipated as the chore took on a more and more monumental status. George had been in the fever throws for nine days when his parents, in a state of hopelessness, asked first their neighbors and then the hospital and then the priest what to do. The neighbors shunned them believing that one child producing such a volume of sweat and such a deathly smell must already be dead, and his continued respiration could only be the work of some demon or even Satan himself. The hospital was sympathetic to their plight, but they could no more render adequate facilities than the parents could. The priest saw the boy’s illness as a miraculous expression of supernatural power, but he was just the priest of a small fishing village, and he had no training in such matters. The priest dispatched a letter to his superiors in the city, and in the meantime located a long dried up watering hole that had been used in antiquity as a stopping point as ranchers drove their livestock northwards.

So, the boy was moved to the dried up watering hole just outside of town and assigned a rotation of nuns to watch over him. He was bound to an inflatable raft tethered by hemp rope to a stake hammered into the thick clay and mud of the shoal of the watering hole. He was given blankets that would sometimes slip into the sweat water that was filling the agelessly fallow watering hole. The nuns, at first, accepted the assignment with little concern or opposition, and would read to him from the book of Zachariah and fetch his soggy blankets from the cloudy water and carefully drape them back over him. But, soon the nuns volunteering to go to the watering hole became fewer and fewer. Most of the nuns who had first watched over the boy were now sick, not with a viral or bacterial infection, but with a deep-seated nausea that percolated throughout their bodies. The watering hole had been filled more than it had ever been with the sweat of the young boy in the intervening days, and the local wildlife had begun to drink from it and it slowly flowed out into the soils that nourished the wild grain grasses surrounding the diminutive pool. Those animals that did would become the legendary creatures, hippogryphs and jackalopes and elasmotheriums, that future cryptozoologists would endlessly debate and puzzle over.

Ham n Cheese · 11-11-2006, 06:14 PM

I wrote a screenplay once upon a time and a few shorts. I'd be really interested in a writers thread to read up on what people here do. I really hate the shit I used to write though, so maybe after my next little project I'll post mine up here.

I tried to write a novel once in high school too. It's funny what you thought had potential to be awesome is really just trash as you age and educate.

Delenar · 11-12-2006, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ham n Cheese

I tried to write a novel once in high school too. It's funny what you thought had potential to be awesome is really just trash as you age and educate.

So very true.

I wrote some screenplays while I was going for my major in English, at the time I thought they were bad, but good practice. Now 7 years later, they were just utter rubbish, all random nonsense. I thought it was "cool" to go outside the 3 act structure.

Since then I've written some original screenplays, mostly 120 page stuff just for practice, and a few TV episodes, also just to try to keep sharp. I'm firmly lodged in the procrastinating stage of writing now though, just thinking of reasons NOT to write instead of actually doing anything.

Moontayle · 11-12-2006, 09:00 PM

It's still a major goal of mine to become a published writer. I've got three or four manuscripts in various stages of completion. My latest one was derailed by the birth of my son, but I hope to pick that back up soon since I already have a solid outline to go by.

Anyhoo, back when I was playing SWG I had an idea for a SWG novel and was going to pitch the idea to Haden Blackman, who'd worked with the author of the only SWG novel to see print. It never came through but I had a mostly completed novel so I decided to call it 'fan fiction' and used SWGVault to publish it as an episodic story.

Page Link: http://swvault.ign.com/View.php?view...ry_select_id=6

PDF Link: http://swvault.ign.com/documents/JediRebellion.pdf

Enjoy.

WarderX · 11-12-2006, 11:26 PM

I hate everything I write about three weeks after it has been written

being your own worst critic is unfortunate sometimes.

To the OP: Very clever! I'd certainly be interested in reading some more.

Tea on tuesday · 11-12-2006, 11:47 PM

Yeah, I think most writers go through a process of:

1. This is the greatest thing ever written. I'm a god damn genius and the greatest writer in the history of the universe.

2. Holy shit, this is awful. It'll be a fucking travesty on par with the holocaust if I ever set pen to paper again.

3. Meh, it's alright.

I know how it is when you look at old work, and sometimes it's just plain terrible. A lot of the time though, the work is actually decent enough it's just that you've evolved as a writer, so you would have done things differently---not necessarily better, just differently. I'm just as guilty as the rest when it comes to this with the exception of my poetry (not gay!) which I still think is pretty good even five or six years later, but a lot of that, I think, comes from learning under Andrew Hudgins who is just brilliant.

Also, props to moonytale for actually completing a novel. That takes more time and dedication than I'm ever willing to give, but the chances of actually publishing a derivative work are minimal at best if you're not commisioned to do it.

Ham n Cheese · 11-12-2006, 11:50 PM

The only thing I'm ever happy with are concepts. Turning them into something that isn't garbage is the tricky part

WarderX · 11-12-2006, 11:53 PM

"Between thought and expression lies a lifetime"

edit: I think most writers dislike thier old writings because they are in a different mindset when they read thier older stuff.

That said, my one piece of advice would be never destroy your old writings. I've had a private livejournal for like 5 years now and I just post ever single thing I write in there (mostly as a failsafe to me wiping my hard-drives and losing it) and even though I don't like most of it, I'm glad it's sitting there being preserved. One thing I will always regret doing is ripping up one of my journals over a girl. That was pretty dumb. I wish I still had it to read, no matter how annoyed I would be with my former self.
The interesting thing is that I'm starting to actually enjoy the OLDEST stuff in there, because I can't really remember the specifics of what I was feeling when I wrote it, or who it is about if it's about a girl.

Himeo · 11-13-2006, 12:09 AM

Does anyone know of quality tomes for learning this witchcraft?

I have a wonderful concept that, someday, I would love to express. I just fear I'm not up to the task.

Tirinal · 11-13-2006, 12:20 AM

As a recovering former English undergrad (oh god the horror), I'm not entirely convinced it's something that is either learned or honed through any of the "how to write" textbooks out there. There's nary a twist 'twixt eye and wrist, as it's said. From personal experience, learning about form and syntax and all the rest before actually sitting down and producing something is a bit like masturbation without the payoff.

If you must though, "Writing Fiction" by Janet Burroway is the least abrasive of the lot.

Tea on tuesday · 11-13-2006, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Himeo

Does anyone know of quality tomes for learning this witchcraft?

I have a wonderful concept that, someday, I would love to express. I just fear I'm not up to the task.

You're not going to learn much by reading a book. There isn't a good way to learn to write that doesn't involve lots of reading or lots of practice. If you sit down and write something, anything everyday and never worry about wether it's good or not you're already a cut above most people.

Find two or three short stories by your favortie author(s) and deconstruct everything. Look at every line to see how they build character and plot and setting. Look for the significance in every line. After you've done that write a story that follow their sentence structure line for line. Do this, and you'll learn more about writing than any class or book could hope to teach you. The goal isn't to turn you into a clone of somebody else, it's to help you understand the mechanics of a succesfull writer.

Ham n Cheese · 11-13-2006, 03:20 AM

I haven't written in probably a year. Reading the dark tower makes me really want to get back into it. I never could see myself writing a full fledged novel though. Drawing on to character myself and the reader doesn't care much about and over describing scenery seems so out of my area. Problem is my latest concept is probably going to break 120 pages in screenplay format, so I'm in a difficult situation of having to much information for that, but not enough for a novel and I can't decide how I'm going to write it.

One of my favorite parts is getting ready to write. For what I'm doing now I spent a good week researching this or that to be accurate and for sybmolism etc. I mean when you start writing a lot of what you had planned goes out the window, but it gave me an excuse to educate myself on some shit I didn't know that ended up being interesting.

Zarcath · 11-13-2006, 05:43 AM

I haven't written anything in years. Old high school papers that teachers used to praise are complete garbage now that I reread them.

I have a story idea laying around somewhere I wrote in high school.

Had to do with a family of 3, mother father son, and the father dies or somesuch, mom and son forced to live in their car. Son behaves strangely with his money and mom thinks he's taking drugs. He's actually be sending it to one of those third world country things. Mom has son put in rehab/jail and she goes crazy. The third world country person turns out to be a girl and she was smart enough to come to the US to study and tries to track down her benefactor only to find he's in jail.

Something like that anyway.

Ham n Cheese · 11-13-2006, 06:34 AM

anyone here who has written a screenplay ever use triggerstreet? my first ever (completed) screenplay is up there and I like the sites concept still do this day. Basically you have to read a screenplay to get a credit, when you're done to get the credit you have to write a review and pass a 10 question test about the screenplay. Then you can designate credits to whichever screenplay you've written to get it "assigned" to others (assigned screenplays are the only sp that give credits). Once someone who was assigned reads/writes and passes the shit for your sp that credit is spent.

Anyway its a great way to get feedback from your peers and to make sure people read the story (or at least make the effort to pretend they did).

oh and if you think someone bs'd their way through a review/test you can challenge it. You can't read others peoples reviews of the sps your assigned to as well, its a great system. Don't remember how I stumbled on the site but I've been a member for forever.

Bralkan · 11-13-2006, 07:31 AM

here today, gone tomorrow. er, today.

Edit: Well, for you then Ham. I'm mostly into lyrics / poetry, haven't made much time for anything else. Its a little cliche and emo, but I don't think any of it is untrue. Call me a pessimist =P
Wrote it a week or so ago; Its actually a song so thats why lines repeat. Also, the flow works better when accompanied by music (its about 10 mins long I think.)

*************
"Ol' Miseria"

I woke up to find I can't find my eyes
I woke up to find I can't find my eyes

We're walking in this quad every day
All these people passing by, never stop to say hey
We go into these buildings for education,
But all I see is mass subjugation
To a power-knowledge, academia,
Not so different than Ol'Miseria
I don't think, we know what
goes on, goes on
What's on...the television
Dear God! Let it be my favorite show!
Dear God! Please bless this food.
Dear God! Please make it so!

Dear God! Please give me a gift,
Please, let me this gift.
Dear God! Please take my gift,
Please take my gift!

I woke up to find I can't find my eyes
I woke up to find I can't find my eyes

Will you be there with nice things to say
On the day I finally pass away
Or will you say I knew that man,
But today I already have plans

We've been insincere for so long
All these things already seem overcome
Why do we end up back overthome,
All these songs with no progression
Why can't the words I sing, find new bells to ring
A new tower to climb, a new way to rhyme
Why can't the words I sing, find new bells to ring
A new tower to climb, a new way to rhyme

Let the past bring what it may
Only the future will come one day
The future must come before the past
Its the only way the future can last

Why can't the words I sing, find new bells to ring
A new tower to climb, a new way to rhyme
Why can't the words I sing, find new bells to ring
A new tower to climb, a new way to rhyme

I woke up to find I can't find my eyes
I woke up to find I can't find my eyes

11-11-2006, 05:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tea on tuesday Registered User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,415 +7 Internets	Post shit you've written. I know there must be some other writers lurking around here, so I'll take the plunge and kick this off with the rough draft of the first page of my latest story. George was eight when he was struck by an impenetrable pyrexic phantasmagoria. His vocabulary became a twisted mash of circular word associations that lead to indecipherable conclusions. His tiny pores poured open an immensity of sweat like a faucet whose valves were too rusty to fully close, which seemed to unlock a malignant odor in the skin that had been intended by its creator to remain caged within until death and then decomposition would release it back into the world as a harbinger of sorrow. Still, none of the boy’s relatives that came to see him could leave without remarking upon the scent of lavender lurking just below the overpowering aroma like a nearby battlefield in which both armies had annihilated each other and so laid wedded together as their bodies returned to the earth. At first the boy’s parents had tried diligently to change his sheets hourly and bathe him daily in the coldest water they could find. When there were no more dry sheets they placed buckets around his bed as if he were an old roof in the summer storms. Soon, however, their zeal dissipated as the chore took on a more and more monumental status. George had been in the fever throws for nine days when his parents, in a state of hopelessness, asked first their neighbors and then the hospital and then the priest what to do. The neighbors shunned them believing that one child producing such a volume of sweat and such a deathly smell must already be dead, and his continued respiration could only be the work of some demon or even Satan himself. The hospital was sympathetic to their plight, but they could no more render adequate facilities than the parents could. The priest saw the boy’s illness as a miraculous expression of supernatural power, but he was just the priest of a small fishing village, and he had no training in such matters. The priest dispatched a letter to his superiors in the city, and in the meantime located a long dried up watering hole that had been used in antiquity as a stopping point as ranchers drove their livestock northwards. So, the boy was moved to the dried up watering hole just outside of town and assigned a rotation of nuns to watch over him. He was bound to an inflatable raft tethered by hemp rope to a stake hammered into the thick clay and mud of the shoal of the watering hole. He was given blankets that would sometimes slip into the sweat water that was filling the agelessly fallow watering hole. The nuns, at first, accepted the assignment with little concern or opposition, and would read to him from the book of Zachariah and fetch his soggy blankets from the cloudy water and carefully drape them back over him. But, soon the nuns volunteering to go to the watering hole became fewer and fewer. Most of the nuns who had first watched over the boy were now sick, not with a viral or bacterial infection, but with a deep-seated nausea that percolated throughout their bodies. The watering hole had been filled more than it had ever been with the sweat of the young boy in the intervening days, and the local wildlife had begun to drink from it and it slowly flowed out into the soils that nourished the wild grain grasses surrounding the diminutive pool. Those animals that did would become the legendary creatures, hippogryphs and jackalopes and elasmotheriums, that future cryptozoologists would endlessly debate and puzzle over.

11-11-2006, 06:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
Ham n Cheese Productive, fully-charged, cocked and pointed Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston Posts: 8,412 +19 Internets	I wrote a screenplay once upon a time and a few shorts. I'd be really interested in a writers thread to read up on what people here do. I really hate the shit I used to write though, so maybe after my next little project I'll post mine up here. I tried to write a novel once in high school too. It's funny what you thought had potential to be awesome is really just trash as you age and educate. __________________ Xeph Caito Clow Hunky Dory

11-12-2006, 09:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
Moontayle Romo is a manwhore Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 2,465	It's still a major goal of mine to become a published writer. I've got three or four manuscripts in various stages of completion. My latest one was derailed by the birth of my son, but I hope to pick that back up soon since I already have a solid outline to go by. Anyhoo, back when I was playing SWG I had an idea for a SWG novel and was going to pitch the idea to Haden Blackman, who'd worked with the author of the only SWG novel to see print. It never came through but I had a mostly completed novel so I decided to call it 'fan fiction' and used SWGVault to publish it as an episodic story. Page Link: http://swvault.ign.com/View.php?view...ry_select_id=6 PDF Link: http://swvault.ign.com/documents/JediRebellion.pdf Enjoy. __________________ WoW - Lieutenant-Commander Ignitz, 70 Gnome Warrior, Shadow Council, Devstyle, Retired

11-12-2006, 11:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
Tea on tuesday Registered User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,415 +7 Internets	Yeah, I think most writers go through a process of: 1. This is the greatest thing ever written. I'm a god damn genius and the greatest writer in the history of the universe. 2. Holy shit, this is awful. It'll be a fucking travesty on par with the holocaust if I ever set pen to paper again. 3. Meh, it's alright. I know how it is when you look at old work, and sometimes it's just plain terrible. A lot of the time though, the work is actually decent enough it's just that you've evolved as a writer, so you would have done things differently---not necessarily better, just differently. I'm just as guilty as the rest when it comes to this with the exception of my poetry (not gay!) which I still think is pretty good even five or six years later, but a lot of that, I think, comes from learning under Andrew Hudgins who is just brilliant. Also, props to moonytale for actually completing a novel. That takes more time and dedication than I'm ever willing to give, but the chances of actually publishing a derivative work are minimal at best if you're not commisioned to do it. Last edited by Tea on tuesday : 11-13-2006 at 12:03 AM.

11-12-2006, 11:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
Ham n Cheese Productive, fully-charged, cocked and pointed Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston Posts: 8,412 +19 Internets	The only thing I'm ever happy with are concepts. Turning them into something that isn't garbage is the tricky part __________________ Xeph Caito Clow Hunky Dory

11-12-2006, 11:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
WarderX Registered User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Atlanta, Georgia Posts: 1,591 +2 Internets	I hate everything I write about three weeks after it has been written being your own worst critic is unfortunate sometimes. To the OP: Very clever! I'd certainly be interested in reading some more.

11-12-2006, 11:53 PM	#8 (permalink)
WarderX Registered User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Atlanta, Georgia Posts: 1,591 +2 Internets	"Between thought and expression lies a lifetime" edit: I think most writers dislike thier old writings because they are in a different mindset when they read thier older stuff. That said, my one piece of advice would be never destroy your old writings. I've had a private livejournal for like 5 years now and I just post ever single thing I write in there (mostly as a failsafe to me wiping my hard-drives and losing it) and even though I don't like most of it, I'm glad it's sitting there being preserved. One thing I will always regret doing is ripping up one of my journals over a girl. That was pretty dumb. I wish I still had it to read, no matter how annoyed I would be with my former self. The interesting thing is that I'm starting to actually enjoy the OLDEST stuff in there, because I can't really remember the specifics of what I was feeling when I wrote it, or who it is about if it's about a girl. Last edited by WarderX : 11-13-2006 at 12:03 AM.

11-13-2006, 12:09 AM	#9 (permalink)
Himeo Memento mori. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Riverside, Ca Posts: 909 -1 Internets	Does anyone know of quality tomes for learning this witchcraft? I have a wonderful concept that, someday, I would love to express. I just fear I'm not up to the task. Last edited by Himeo : 11-13-2006 at 12:11 AM.

11-13-2006, 12:20 AM	#10 (permalink)
Tirinal Registered User Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 711 -1 Internets	As a recovering former English undergrad (oh god the horror), I'm not entirely convinced it's something that is either learned or honed through any of the "how to write" textbooks out there. There's nary a twist 'twixt eye and wrist, as it's said. From personal experience, learning about form and syntax and all the rest before actually sitting down and producing something is a bit like masturbation without the payoff. If you must though, "Writing Fiction" by Janet Burroway is the least abrasive of the lot.

11-13-2006, 03:20 AM	#12 (permalink)
Ham n Cheese Productive, fully-charged, cocked and pointed Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston Posts: 8,412 +19 Internets	I haven't written in probably a year. Reading the dark tower makes me really want to get back into it. I never could see myself writing a full fledged novel though. Drawing on to character myself and the reader doesn't care much about and over describing scenery seems so out of my area. Problem is my latest concept is probably going to break 120 pages in screenplay format, so I'm in a difficult situation of having to much information for that, but not enough for a novel and I can't decide how I'm going to write it. One of my favorite parts is getting ready to write. For what I'm doing now I spent a good week researching this or that to be accurate and for sybmolism etc. I mean when you start writing a lot of what you had planned goes out the window, but it gave me an excuse to educate myself on some shit I didn't know that ended up being interesting. __________________ Xeph Caito Clow Hunky Dory

11-13-2006, 05:43 AM	#13 (permalink)
Zarcath Slantiest Eyes in Town Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Hawaii Posts: 4,826 +6 Internets	I haven't written anything in years. Old high school papers that teachers used to praise are complete garbage now that I reread them. I have a story idea laying around somewhere I wrote in high school. Had to do with a family of 3, mother father son, and the father dies or somesuch, mom and son forced to live in their car. Son behaves strangely with his money and mom thinks he's taking drugs. He's actually be sending it to one of those third world country things. Mom has son put in rehab/jail and she goes crazy. The third world country person turns out to be a girl and she was smart enough to come to the US to study and tries to track down her benefactor only to find he's in jail. Something like that anyway.

11-13-2006, 06:34 AM	#14 (permalink)
Ham n Cheese Productive, fully-charged, cocked and pointed Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston Posts: 8,412 +19 Internets	anyone here who has written a screenplay ever use triggerstreet? my first ever (completed) screenplay is up there and I like the sites concept still do this day. Basically you have to read a screenplay to get a credit, when you're done to get the credit you have to write a review and pass a 10 question test about the screenplay. Then you can designate credits to whichever screenplay you've written to get it "assigned" to others (assigned screenplays are the only sp that give credits). Once someone who was assigned reads/writes and passes the shit for your sp that credit is spent. Anyway its a great way to get feedback from your peers and to make sure people read the story (or at least make the effort to pretend they did). oh and if you think someone bs'd their way through a review/test you can challenge it. You can't read others peoples reviews of the sps your assigned to as well, its a great system. Don't remember how I stumbled on the site but I've been a member for forever. __________________ Xeph Caito Clow Hunky Dory Last edited by Ham n Cheese : 11-13-2006 at 06:37 AM.

11-13-2006, 07:31 AM	#15 (permalink)
Bralkan Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Atlanta GA Posts: 2,118 -1 Internets	here today, gone tomorrow. er, today. Edit: Well, for you then Ham. I'm mostly into lyrics / poetry, haven't made much time for anything else. Its a little cliche and emo, but I don't think any of it is untrue. Call me a pessimist =P Wrote it a week or so ago; Its actually a song so thats why lines repeat. Also, the flow works better when accompanied by music (its about 10 mins long I think.) ************* "Ol' Miseria" I woke up to find I can't find my eyes I woke up to find I can't find my eyes We're walking in this quad every day All these people passing by, never stop to say hey We go into these buildings for education, But all I see is mass subjugation To a power-knowledge, academia, Not so different than Ol'Miseria I don't think, we know what goes on, goes on What's on...the television Dear God! Let it be my favorite show! Dear God! Please bless this food. Dear God! Please make it so! Dear God! Please give me a gift, Please, let me this gift. Dear God! Please take my gift, Please take my gift! I woke up to find I can't find my eyes I woke up to find I can't find my eyes Will you be there with nice things to say On the day I finally pass away Or will you say I knew that man, But today I already have plans We've been insincere for so long All these things already seem overcome Why do we end up back overthome, All these songs with no progression Why can't the words I sing, find new bells to ring A new tower to climb, a new way to rhyme Why can't the words I sing, find new bells to ring A new tower to climb, a new way to rhyme Let the past bring what it may Only the future will come one day The future must come before the past Its the only way the future can last Why can't the words I sing, find new bells to ring A new tower to climb, a new way to rhyme Why can't the words I sing, find new bells to ring A new tower to climb, a new way to rhyme I woke up to find I can't find my eyes I woke up to find I can't find my eyes __________________ We're all idiots. http://nottheparrot.blogspot.com Last edited by Bralkan : 11-13-2006 at 04:57 PM.

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