Jokes

[Flight]

Keep 'em coming.





A duck walks into a post office and asks the man behind the counter: 'Do you have any corn?' The man answers politely: 'No, we don't sell any corn here I'm afraid.'

The next day, the duck enters again and asks: 'Do you have any corn?' Annoyed, the man answers: 'No! I told you yesterday, we don't have any corn. We're a Post Office!'

This goes on for a couple of days until finally, when the duck asks 'Do you have any corn?', the man gets so upset he yells: 'NO! For the last f***ing time we don't have any f***ing corn, and if you ask again I'll nail your f***ing beak to the counter!'

The next day, the duck returns and asks: 'Do you have any nails?' The man answers: 'No.'

The duck then asks: 'Do you have any corn?'

[Flight]

A family are driving behind a bin lorry when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.

Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons' innocence, the mother turns around and says "Don't worry. That was an insect."

To which one of the boys replies "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."

[Flight]

Man comes home with some Deer meat for dinner, but doesn't tell his kids what it is.

"I'll give you a clue though, its what your Mum calls me."

"It's a ballbag," yells his son. "Don't eat it!".

[Flight]

Two nuns driving down the road when a vampire jumps on the bonnet.

"What should I do Sister Mary" asks Sister Janice.

"Show him your cross" says Sister Mary

"GET OFF MY F***ING BONNET" screams Sister Janice.

[Flight]

My doctor told me to stop masturbating.

I asked why. She said "so I can examine you".

[Ancalagon]

Your avatar is particularly appropriate since I can't imagine you'd tell such shit excuses for humor to people in real life.

And there's already a 'Jokes' thread in Screenshots.

[Flight]

Originally Posted by Ancalagon

Your avatar is particularly appropriate since I can't imagine you'd tell such shit excuses for humor to people in real life.

And there's already a 'Jokes' thread in Screenshots.

I don't get it.

[chthonic-anemos]

there's already an abortion thread

[Picasso]

.

[Leadsalad]

Pizza is not a joke, it's delicious! You take that back sir!

[Haus]

Since i have nowhere else to put it...

President Obama gets off Marine 1 carrying 2 piglets. The Marine guard salutes and says "Nice Pigs, Sir".

Obama replies "They're not pigs. They're Arkansas razorback hogs. Got 1 for SecState Clinton, and one for Speaker Pelosi....".

The Marine says "Excellent trade, sir!"

[Fammaden]

That joke made a lot more sense when it was about Clinton and Hil-Dog.

[Ronne]

Sure, I'll bite.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You'd run away too if your name was HNNNNRRRRRRGGGGAAAA

Want to know what really killed Hitler? His gas bill.

[Zehn - Vhex]

http://www.fohguild.org/forums/scree...post-some.html

[Jysin-DW]

Not everyone can view that forum.. especially at work. I made the mistake of clicking on it once and I got a big Access Denial screen by the smart filter here at work that came up "Pornography / Adult material". Ooops!!