Saying no

[Shanter]

Think of it this way: If you hadn't helped him out, he would have spent that money towards the diamond (without the discount). He already knew what he wanted to spend on the ring, and with the extra money he saved he wanted to thank you for helping him out. Yeah, it is hard to accept a gift that luxurious, but some people won't take no for an answer.

[Dinthug]

If it's a hassle for you either: tell him that, name a price, or do it for the favor. It depends what type of person you are really.

If it's not much of a hassle for me, I usually try to help people out when I can. I have no problem doing big favors for people--ONLY if I trust the person and expect the favor to be returned-- and in the long run I think it usually pays off.

If you don't expect the favor to be returned, use money as it's supposed to be used, as a form of debt. Do him a favor getting it cheaper, he returns the favor in some kind of gift.

If it's too much of a hassle just tell him that or make an excuse.

[Dinthug]

damn browser.

[Blank]

nope.

[James]

In my experience, I've found 'no' is really secret female code word for 'YES TAKE ME HERE.' It really doesn't matter what they're saying 'no' to, either.

[AladainAF]

Just take the item you gold plated underwear whore. Then donate it to charity if you feel guilty.

[Arbitrary]

You should have recommended he pop the question with a new video card. At least then your shit would be banging instead of having a pair of glasses that are going to end up on display in a cabinet until the day your cat pulls a Mission Impossible after deciding a four hundred dollar pile of broken glass is the best place to put dead bird offerings.

Because he never sees you hunt and is trying to help.

So yeah, stick with the cat.

[Hatorade]

Sounds like the type that feels good by helping people, he has the cash so he uses that. If you genuinely make him feel that you are happy to help and do not need/want anything he should be satisfied. If he still pushes tell him there is nothing you want/need right now but is it ok if I get back to you if something comes up.

[Feduke]

Originally Posted by Hatorade

Sounds like the type that feels good by helping people, he has the cash so he uses that. If you genuinely make him feel that you are happy to help and do not need/want anything he should be satisfied. If he still pushes tell him there is nothing you want/need right now but is it ok if I get back to you if something comes up.

I like this idea.

For that one day you get thrown in jail, call this guy up so he can make your bail.

[chthonic-anemos]

I'm going to assume this story was really about a smuggler or dealer you helped out. If you don't accept this gift then he's going to think you're a cop.

[Etoille]

Originally Posted by Alcestis

I don't know what's more frightening: that apparently those two champagne glasses are made from the crystallized shit of Jesus, or that you suggested he actually buy them. Even my favorite Riedel decanter barely costs that much. What company makes this?

Back to the real question: for this particular case, it would've been easy to make an excuse about not accepting gifts (extravagant or not) from the opposite sex, just as a matter of policy. Expand/joke on that as little or as much as you want. And while he is busy insisting, think quickly for an "alternate gift" instead that won't make you feel bad but still satisfy his need to "get you something", like Zeste and The Ancient alluded to. Something like, "Actually, if you could mail me a picture of the ring that you end up getting the stone set into, I'd really appreciate that. I've helped other people with getting their diamonds, as you know, and it'd be nice to have such a thing on hand for future people..."

The overarching "no" problem could be a function of your body language. You probably were totally asking for it, you know.

Swarovski makes em. I know which setting he got because it was one of the ones I suggested based on what his g/f likes (micropave). Which is the reason I suggested the flutes - the stem is filled with tiny little crystals which look like her ring.

I agree with Ancient/Zeste thats how I should have played it.

I'm always totally asking for it though.

It sounds like Zeste has grappled with 'no' too - thanks for the share! My fiance and I run into the dinner problem too - we never have the "check sits on the table while people look at it wondering who is going to stiff the table tonite" problem - we have to tell the waiter in between apps and entree that it should come to us in order to have a shot at picking it up.

I think I'm just surrounded by people who are way too generous. Its not like we're struggling or anything at all either. Yes a lot of our friends have more money or disposable income than we do but its definitely not like a charity situation either.

/frump

[Eyashusa]

Originally Posted by Etoille

Anyhow, this is something that has actually been a problem for me in one form or another pretty much my whole life. I have a problem telling people 'no' in terms of someone asking me for help or a favor etc...but this time was a bit different. I helped a coworker out with the negotiation of a diamond which had a fairly substantial pricetag before (and after) the (also quite large) discount.

I'm in need of your services! When are you coming back to the Windy City?

onto your question... everyone else already responded with what I would have said.

[Chips]

Tell him to buy you a vacation to Mexico for a week instead.

[Needless]

A+++ Troll thread, Really though, 400 dollar wine glasses? Come on.

[Etoille]

Originally Posted by Eyashusa

I'm in need of your services! When are you coming back to the Windy City?

onto your question... everyone else already responded with what I would have said.

I've been out of the loop too long from Chicago at this point - could go down to the diamond district but that would take a few days of dedicated shopping.

Come to DC! :P