Sex before marriage?

[Azrayne]

Originally Posted by Dumar

this has nothing to do with logic whatsoever. this is so far removed from logic that it's like throwing a math book at a leaky sink. i'm not taking any minority position for its sake because i could care less. i'm just telling the truth.

what this is is taking our traditional idea of marriage and changing it to what suits us. if you don't like a certain something, then you change it to fit your worldview, to make it consistent with your life. this makes you feel good and better about it. it's not right or wrong in a moral sense; it just is.

but it is incorrect.

You realise the 'traditional idea of marriage' as you conceptualize it has only existed for a century or two? For the thousands of years before that, marriage mostly consisted of the parents matching up their children and marrying them together with a dowry for political or material gain, love didn't even factor into it, and abstinance before marriage applied to women only because men didn't want to marry a woman who wasn't a virgin because there was then potentially doubt over the paternity of any children.

[Astrocreep]

Originally Posted by Azrayne

In the end, the whole point of marriage and love and romance and all that is for a penis to enter a vagina and impregnate the woman so she can have babies and ensure the continuation of the species. I'm just saying that if you're going to commit yourself to one individual for the rest of your life, you should enjoy it, a happy sex life is a huge factor in a satisfying relationship.

A relationship isn't built on romantic love alone, it's a complex and multifaceted construction, but a huge part of it is sexual. When you boil it down, we marry someone so we can have sex with them and make babies, and sex is both a major part of our lives and our psychology and one of the foremost of our basic pleasures. How you can see it as anything other than integral to a healthy relationship is beyond me.

you're right its not black or white, there are quite a few reasons why people get married, some do it becuase they cant keep it in their pants but are afraid theyll catch something from random stranger, some marry for money, and the rare others marry becuase they actually want to be with that someone for the rest of their lives whether they fuck good or have money but becuase they felt they were meant to be together. thats a real thing and i didnt pull that shit out of some chick's romance book with Fabio on the cover. There was a story a few years back on the discovery health channel. some chick was paralyzed in an accident from the neck down. she couldnt feel to fuck anymore and all she could do is give her man BJs. husband stayed with her despite all their money going down the tubes on physical therapy for this woman. thats what love is.

[Voyce]

Originally Posted by Dumar

this has nothing to do with logic whatsoever. this is so far removed from logic that it's like throwing a math book at a leaky sink. i'm not taking any minority position for its sake because i could care less. i'm just telling the truth.

what this is is taking our traditional idea of marriage and changing it to what suits us. if you don't like a certain something, then you change it to fit your worldview, to make it consistent with your life. this makes you feel good and better about it. it's not right or wrong in a moral sense; it just is.

but it is incorrect.

Oh, So you're just of the opinion that we should call it something else and not marriage, because you know the Christian marriage is obviously the proper definition even though the idea of marriage and monogamous relationships far predate Christianity, hey perhaps we should use the Aztec word for marriage!





Nope.






I was right in my initial evaluation, your mind works in these cornered absolutes--just admit it--it will only enlighten you to your own intelligence.

[Knucklehead]

Originally Posted by Dumar

this has nothing to do with logic whatsoever. this is so far removed from logic that it's like throwing a math book at a leaky sink. i'm not taking any minority position for its sake because i could care less. i'm just telling the truth.

what this is is taking our traditional idea of marriage and changing it to what suits us. if you don't like a certain something, then you change it to fit your worldview, to make it consistent with your life. this makes you feel good and better about it. it's not right or wrong in a moral sense; it just is.

but it is incorrect.

At first I thought you were just trolling. Now I think you're a Catholic deacon. Where ever you found your philosophical soapbox, it's pretty far removed from all scientific study on human sexuality.

[Dumar]

Originally Posted by Knucklehead

At first I thought you were just trolling. Now I think you're a Catholic deacon. Where ever you found your philosophical soapbox, it's pretty far removed from all scientific study on human sexuality.

i'm not really religious, but thanks for inferring though.

[column]

Honestly If I could go back in time I wish I would have abstained until i was married.

Unfortunately there was too many teenage sluts when I was a teenager and my willpower was at -10000000000000000000000000000000000000

[Dumar]

Originally Posted by Voyce

Oh, So you're just of the opinion that we should call it something else and not marriage, because you know the Christian marriage is obviously the proper definition even though the idea of marriage and monogamous relationships far predate Christianity, hey perhaps we should use the Aztec word for marriage!

what's the proper definition then? that everyone can define it uniquely? that means there isn't a definition. no, the definition of our cultural idea of marriage does include a christian background. and in that idea, in that institution is the definition of love vs sex i described earlier.

you can bend and warp it to your liking though, and i'm saying that's what most people do. the thing is, they still call it and even view it in the traditional sense.

[Tenks]

I honestly don't know why anyone is responding to Dumar anymore.

This thread seems somewhat split between people who have been jaded by life and love and those who have yet to face that heartbreak and eye-opening experience to reality. Even the best of relationships are not all gumdrops and rainbows. My parents have the best marriage of anyone I know and even them have arguments and bumps, though as far as I know they abstained until marriage. Not exactly something I want to bluntly ask my parents.

[RiskyChris]

Originally Posted by column

Honestly If I could go back in time I wish I would have abstained until i was married.

I got no shame. If I had waited until marriage I would've been filling out divorce papers the next morning.

[Voyce]

Originally Posted by Dumar

what's the proper definition then? that everyone can define it uniquely? that means there isn't a definition. no, the definition of our cultural idea of marriage does include a christian background. and in that idea, in that institution is the definition of love vs sex i described earlier.

you can bend and warp it to your liking though, and i'm saying that's what most people do. the thing is, they still call it and even view it in the traditional sense.

How do you know what my culture is?

I'm still waiting for your revelation, I mean I know you've gotta look down at some point...and go....wait...I..

[Azrayne]

Tbh, my parents have probably the single best relationship I've ever encountered. I can count on one hand then number of times I've even seen them argue, and it never devolved into a personal issue. Both of them have made huge sacrifices for their relationship and they make their every decision as a team with the whole family in mind, while still finding time to be affectionate with eachother and obviously very much in love. It's the only thing that gives me hope in marriage as an institution, jaded as I am. I hate to think about how disillusioned I'd be if I came from a broken home.

[Soldaris]

Sex is sex, I dont get the point in waiting till marriage. You will bust the same before as after, only diff is you have put a few grand into a wedding and a ring, to possibly find out you may not even be with her forever and possibly passed up on some action along the way. However if sex is some sacred bond to you then by all means, have at it, but it is honestly pointless to have a discussion like this when everyone will see it in a different light.

[column]

I had the opposite experience. My parents constantly fight like the Constanzas,but they love each other to death.

There marriage is incredibly solid for some reason. Myself and my brother on the other hand moved out quick LOL. Only so much arguing you can take as a a kid.

[Eyashusa]

I went to a Christian college, knew alot of people who got married within 12-18 months of dating a person for the sole purpose of having sex. I would say I went to approximately 20 weddings and at least 8 of those have ended in divorce in under 2 years of marriage.

Did they break off the marriage because the sex was bad? I dont know. But I do know that almost all of the ones who got married so fast have admitted now that they are divorced that one of the main reasons they did get married so soon is so they could have sex.

Anyways I voted for #1.

[Sharmai]

I am not married but will not have sex until I marry.
Frieza_Prexus, Lumie, Madrugan

So amazingly unsurprising.