If you had to fight a bear, would you win, and how would you do it?

Sithro · 03-15-2006, 02:34 AM

Title says it all.

If the bear isn't that much bigger then me, and I had some really big ass daggers, I could probably stab it on both sides of the neck.

Of course I wouldn't come away without major injuries...

I mean, it is a bear... After all.

Cathan · 03-15-2006, 06:01 AM

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say most bears would kick the shit out of me in hand to paw combat. If I had to fight a bear I'd want a polearm that the bear couldn't break so I could keep his ass way away from me.

sarinrathe · 03-15-2006, 06:20 AM

I do believe daggers would be in order. What, you planning on pulling a Timothy Treadwell?

Blaezenfury · 03-15-2006, 06:29 AM

I'd steathily Encave his fucking Skullz!

haha no. Seriously though I've really always wondered what would happen if I got into a fight with a bear, If I had some sort of weapon of choice I'd want somthing motherfucker longrange, like a polearm, lance etc..

K`Lag · 03-15-2006, 06:41 AM

This would be sufficient... ahh the merits of technology

Eomer · 03-15-2006, 06:57 AM

As someone who's seen several black bears up fairly close, I'd say that unless I just happened to have an 8 foot lance I'd almost definitely die if the bear decided to fuck with me. And you would too. A 12" butcher knife probably wouldn't do you a whole lot of good.

James · 03-15-2006, 07:18 AM

Probably even if you did have an 8 foot lance, though that's not saying much considering by default Canadians are generally a rung or two down the Ladder of Badass from Texans. I would probably crack him one in the jaw so he lost his power to actually bite me, then just perform a slow and steady melee to his chest until the vibrations caused his heart to stop working. Or maybe if I was in a jam, just rip his heart out straight from his chest.

Never forget the story of Davy Crockett, who even though he wasn't born in Texas, he found it in the end and became an honorary native.

Zeste · 03-15-2006, 07:28 AM

I am assuming this thread is a joke. No one without a firearm would survive against a bear. Size isn't really relative. A bear your "size" probably has 4-5 times the strength as you, plus they have the primal attack instinct, not to mention the claws and teeth.

It's not even a ccompetition. Hell, if you think you could take a bear your size, could you take a dog? I doubt it. A 180 lb. rottweiler on full attack mode would destroy any human without an automatic weapon.

But, I'd probably put the bear in a triangle chokehold and then transition to an armbar.

Cathan · 03-15-2006, 07:40 AM

LOL motherfucking armbar Zeste? Would the bear's name be Hulk Hogan or Andre the Giant?

James you are one badass motherfucker if you pull off the broken jaw in one shot and then do anything like vibrating his chest to make his heart stop.

I heard about a martial artist here in the U.S. with a heart stopping technique. Basically he would get his hand on your wrist when you punched or whatever and find your pulse. He then kicks you under the arm in the side between heartbeats and voila, your heart stops. I'm pretty sure that is true. He used to demonstrate on one of his students every now and then I heard. Ofcourse they'd restart the guy's heart afterwards... If he could find the bear's pulse fast enough before being mauled and IF he could get the kick perfect this guy MIGHT have a shot at pulling down a V in melee combat.

(ibtr)

Eomer · 03-15-2006, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Probably even if you did have an 8 foot lance, though that's not saying much considering by default Canadians are generally a rung or two down the Ladder of Badass from Texans.

I just mean scaring the thing off. Poke it a few times and it'll probably just say "fuck this, I'm going to the dump to look for garbage." There's little to no chance of a human fighting a bear of any size to death.

And while I am no Texan, I've got two friends who've been camping and had to scare off a black bear by throwing shit and screaming at it. Luckily one of them is 6'6" and has more hair than the bear. Bears for the most part want nothing to do with humans, other than eating your food and garbage. Me personally I've just seen them from a couple dozen feet away while hiking before they disapear back into the bush.

Dark Millie · 03-15-2006, 08:59 AM

This isn't even a contest. If you're holding anything less than an enormous shotgun in your hands, the bear will come down on you like God came down on Ben Affleck's career.

And even if you're heavily armed, you still stand a very good chance of getting pwned.

Believe it or not, an untrained and insufficiently armed person would probably get his ass kicked by just about any wild animal out there. It doesn't even need to be a bear. A wild dog or a raccoon could do the trick just as easily. Hell, I'm willing to bet that a mildly distempered poodle could kick the shit out of anyone who's posted on this thread.

Benito Fireslinger · 03-15-2006, 09:32 AM

was hunting with a friend of mine when a bear came up to the tree he was in and attempted to climb up it (we were using just regular ladder stands). So he fires 1 shot directly in his face with a 12 guage. Needless to say all it did was knock him out of the tree and severly piss him off.

James · 03-15-2006, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Millie

This isn't even a contest. If you're holding anything less than an enormous shotgun in your hands, the bear will come down on you like God came down on Ben Affleck's career.

And even if you're heavily armed, you still stand a very good chance of getting pwned.

Believe it or not, an untrained and unarmed person would probably get his ass kicked by just about any wild animal out there. It doesn't even need to be a bear. A wild dog or a raccoon could do the trick just as easily. Hell, I'm willing to bet that a mildly distempered poodle could kick the shit out of anyone who's posted on this thread.

Dark Millie not so Dark.

But uhh, no, I've tackled more than a few wild goats. Mildly distempered poodle my asshole.

Dark Millie · 03-15-2006, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

Dark Millie not so Dark.

Try me and see what happens.

Eomer · 03-15-2006, 09:51 AM

Quote:

This isn't even a contest. If you're holding anything less than an enormous shotgun in your hands, the bear will come down on you like God came down on Ben Affleck's career.

Meh, it really depends on how big the bear is, what species etc. Black bears are probably the most common in NA (they love to hang around garbage dumps etc) and they aren't all that big. And like I said, for the most part they want nothing to do with humans.

All bets are off if cubs are around, though.

03-15-2006, 02:34 AM	#1 (permalink)
Sithro Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 2,664 -1 Internets	If you had to fight a bear, would you win, and how would you do it? Title says it all. If the bear isn't that much bigger then me, and I had some really big ass daggers, I could probably stab it on both sides of the neck. Of course I wouldn't come away without major injuries... I mean, it is a bear... After all.

03-15-2006, 06:29 AM	#4 (permalink)
Blaezenfury Registered User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada. Posts: 1,503 +8 Internets	I'd steathily Encave his fucking Skullz! haha no. Seriously though I've really always wondered what would happen if I got into a fight with a bear, If I had some sort of weapon of choice I'd want somthing motherfucker longrange, like a polearm, lance etc.. __________________ Blaezen Feanturi. 65th Halfling OverLord of the Vallon Zek Sever.

03-15-2006, 08:59 AM	#11 (permalink)
Dark Millie Badass Bitch Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: 9th Circle of Hell Posts: 44	This isn't even a contest. If you're holding anything less than an enormous shotgun in your hands, the bear will come down on you like God came down on Ben Affleck's career. And even if you're heavily armed, you still stand a very good chance of getting pwned. Believe it or not, an untrained and insufficiently armed person would probably get his ass kicked by just about any wild animal out there. It doesn't even need to be a bear. A wild dog or a raccoon could do the trick just as easily. Hell, I'm willing to bet that a mildly distempered poodle could kick the shit out of anyone who's posted on this thread. Last edited by Dark Millie : 03-15-2006 at 09:40 AM.

03-15-2006, 09:32 AM	#12 (permalink)
Benito Fireslinger Registered User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Georgia Posts: 333 +0 Internets	was hunting with a friend of mine when a bear came up to the tree he was in and attempted to climb up it (we were using just regular ladder stands). So he fires 1 shot directly in his face with a 12 guage. Needless to say all it did was knock him out of the tree and severly piss him off. __________________ Archimonde

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03-15-2006, 06:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
Cathan Pope of the Cathan Throng! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: N.C. yes we're all inbred rednecks Posts: 975	I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say most bears would kick the shit out of me in hand to paw combat. If I had to fight a bear I'd want a polearm that the bear couldn't break so I could keep his ass way away from me.

03-15-2006, 06:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
sarinrathe Banned Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 202 +0 Internets	I do believe daggers would be in order. What, you planning on pulling a Timothy Treadwell?

03-15-2006, 06:41 AM	#5 (permalink)
K`Lag Registered User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: U.K Posts: 453	This would be sufficient... ahh the merits of technology

03-15-2006, 06:57 AM	#6 (permalink)
Eomer You mean I can change this? Neat! Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 9,803 +29 Internets	As someone who's seen several black bears up fairly close, I'd say that unless I just happened to have an 8 foot lance I'd almost definitely die if the bear decided to fuck with me. And you would too. A 12" butcher knife probably wouldn't do you a whole lot of good.

03-15-2006, 07:28 AM	#8 (permalink)
Zeste Ben's Secret Assassins - HIPPITY HOP RABBIT Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,942 +29 Internets	I am assuming this thread is a joke. No one without a firearm would survive against a bear. Size isn't really relative. A bear your "size" probably has 4-5 times the strength as you, plus they have the primal attack instinct, not to mention the claws and teeth. It's not even a ccompetition. Hell, if you think you could take a bear your size, could you take a dog? I doubt it. A 180 lb. rottweiler on full attack mode would destroy any human without an automatic weapon. But, I'd probably put the bear in a triangle chokehold and then transition to an armbar.

03-15-2006, 07:40 AM	#9 (permalink)
Cathan Pope of the Cathan Throng! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: N.C. yes we're all inbred rednecks Posts: 975	LOL motherfucking armbar Zeste? Would the bear's name be Hulk Hogan or Andre the Giant? James you are one badass motherfucker if you pull off the broken jaw in one shot and then do anything like vibrating his chest to make his heart stop. I heard about a martial artist here in the U.S. with a heart stopping technique. Basically he would get his hand on your wrist when you punched or whatever and find your pulse. He then kicks you under the arm in the side between heartbeats and voila, your heart stops. I'm pretty sure that is true. He used to demonstrate on one of his students every now and then I heard. Ofcourse they'd restart the guy's heart afterwards... If he could find the bear's pulse fast enough before being mauled and IF he could get the kick perfect this guy MIGHT have a shot at pulling down a V in melee combat. (ibtr)