[Angry Amadeus]

I'd pay top dollar to see a movie that goes something like this:

Johnny Depp and Christian Bale star in the forthcoming summer blockbuster Lethal Weapon 5, where Depp (Murtock) and Bale (Riggs) face off against a slew of cantankerously placid-faced nitwits in the form of Orlando Bloom (Spiderhands), Matt Damon (Dr. Bourning) and the always stoic but facial-expressionless Ben Affleck, who plays the ultra-villain (Handjob). Watch as crazy tag-team action unfolds and Riggs rips the spine out of Dr. Bourning, Spiderhands meets his demise at the hands of a saucy, rum-ridden Murtock, and Handjob implodes from a vanity-inflicted bomb of self-deprecation and career ruining.

Or something.