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Trainwreck jm · 09-03-2002, 12:31 AM

Bill Simmons, aka "The Sport Guy", writes a couple of columns a week for ESPN.com, but often veers away from pure sports to discuss Movies, TV, Nintendo and other matters of grave importance. He's the kind of guy you want in the room when a bad movie is on cable =)

The link below is his recap of what he calls "The Greatest Movie Trilogy of All Time", The Karate Kid's I, II, and III. Check it out, its funny as hell =)

http://espn.go.com/page2/movies/s/simmons/020830.html

a couple of excerpts:

This was also Ralph Macchio's defining movie, and that sentence is funny enough in itself. But seriously, who else could have played Daniel-San? By the end of the movie, you actually believe that 1) Daniel could beat everyone from Cobra Kai in a karate tournament, and 2) he would have no problem wooing a young Elisabeth Shue (looking yummy here, even with the extra baby fat), which remains one of the all-time movie stretches.

Hey, this kid's 5-foot-7, he weighs 100 pounds, he can't defend himself, he has no money and no car, we run in different social circles, his mom has to drive him on dates, and everyone hates him. ... I think I'm in love!
-----------------

underrated cast members really helped the cause here:

...Billy Zabka's watershed performance as the villainous Johnny Lawrence (Daniel-San's nemesis and the head of the Cobra Kai), which launched his much-lauded career as the definitive '80s movie villain. In my opinion, he has entered that rare group of actors who only need to go by one name: Eastwood, Stallone, Hanks, Cruise, Nicholson ... and Zabka.

(Note: Some of my readers have been pining for a "Billy Zabka DVD Collection" -- "Karate Kid," "Just One of the Guys" and "Back to School," with director's commentary from Zabka and deleted scenes -- and frankly, there's still time. They could even call it "Zabka!" It's a no-brainer. Like you wouldn't buy this?)
----------------

...this prompts a painful scene in which Daniel-San arrives at the airport just as Miyagi is boarding his plane, leading to some "Please, let me come with you" begging and this hair-raising quote:

"Mr. Miyagi, you're more important than college, you're more important than anything to me."

(Yup ... this was the point in the trilogy in which the Daniel-Miyagi relationship could officially be described as "a little uncomfortable.")
----------------

Unfortunately, Sato is still around as well, accompanied by his evil nephew, best described as "The Japanese Zabka" (the JZ).

And we go from there. The JZ immediately starts feuding with Daniel-San; it doesn't matter if he's in America or Japan, folks, there's just something about Daniel-San that rubs people the wrong way.
----------------

If you liked that, here's a link to his recap of 'Hoosiers'...

http://espn.go.com/page2/movies/s/simmons/020827.html

"12:23: If every female on the planet were like Barbara Hershey in "Hoosiers," the murder-suicide rate in this country would go through the roof. She just gave coach the "Stay away from Jimmy, I don't want him coaching in Hickory when he's 50" dig. She's a delight. I can't believe she's single. "

and video game related: his review of Madden 2003 and the history of Video Football

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/020814.html

"1. Bo Jackson (late-'80s): Anyone who played video games in the late-'80s discusses Bo Jackson reverentially, in hushed tones ... you can't even understand unless you were there. If ESPN ever decided to run a "SportsCentury and Beyond: Video Bo Jackson" episode, they could easily fill the hour just with people telling Tecmo Bowl stories about Bo. Nobody else was even close."

09-03-2002, 12:31 AM	#1 (permalink)
Trainwreck jm Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 21 -1 Internets	The Karate Kid Trilogy... Bill Simmons, aka "The Sport Guy", writes a couple of columns a week for ESPN.com, but often veers away from pure sports to discuss Movies, TV, Nintendo and other matters of grave importance. He's the kind of guy you want in the room when a bad movie is on cable =) The link below is his recap of what he calls "The Greatest Movie Trilogy of All Time", The Karate Kid's I, II, and III. Check it out, its funny as hell =) http://espn.go.com/page2/movies/s/simmons/020830.html a couple of excerpts: This was also Ralph Macchio's defining movie, and that sentence is funny enough in itself. But seriously, who else could have played Daniel-San? By the end of the movie, you actually believe that 1) Daniel could beat everyone from Cobra Kai in a karate tournament, and 2) he would have no problem wooing a young Elisabeth Shue (looking yummy here, even with the extra baby fat), which remains one of the all-time movie stretches. Hey, this kid's 5-foot-7, he weighs 100 pounds, he can't defend himself, he has no money and no car, we run in different social circles, his mom has to drive him on dates, and everyone hates him. ... I think I'm in love! ----------------- underrated cast members really helped the cause here: ...Billy Zabka's watershed performance as the villainous Johnny Lawrence (Daniel-San's nemesis and the head of the Cobra Kai), which launched his much-lauded career as the definitive '80s movie villain. In my opinion, he has entered that rare group of actors who only need to go by one name: Eastwood, Stallone, Hanks, Cruise, Nicholson ... and Zabka. (Note: Some of my readers have been pining for a "Billy Zabka DVD Collection" -- "Karate Kid," "Just One of the Guys" and "Back to School," with director's commentary from Zabka and deleted scenes -- and frankly, there's still time. They could even call it "Zabka!" It's a no-brainer. Like you wouldn't buy this?) ---------------- ...this prompts a painful scene in which Daniel-San arrives at the airport just as Miyagi is boarding his plane, leading to some "Please, let me come with you" begging and this hair-raising quote: "Mr. Miyagi, you're more important than college, you're more important than anything to me." (Yup ... this was the point in the trilogy in which the Daniel-Miyagi relationship could officially be described as "a little uncomfortable.") ---------------- Unfortunately, Sato is still around as well, accompanied by his evil nephew, best described as "The Japanese Zabka" (the JZ). And we go from there. The JZ immediately starts feuding with Daniel-San; it doesn't matter if he's in America or Japan, folks, there's just something about Daniel-San that rubs people the wrong way. ---------------- If you liked that, here's a link to his recap of 'Hoosiers'... http://espn.go.com/page2/movies/s/simmons/020827.html "12:23: If every female on the planet were like Barbara Hershey in "Hoosiers," the murder-suicide rate in this country would go through the roof. She just gave coach the "Stay away from Jimmy, I don't want him coaching in Hickory when he's 50" dig. She's a delight. I can't believe she's single. " and video game related: his review of Madden 2003 and the history of Video Football http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/020814.html "1. Bo Jackson (late-'80s): Anyone who played video games in the late-'80s discusses Bo Jackson reverentially, in hushed tones ... you can't even understand unless you were there. If ESPN ever decided to run a "SportsCentury and Beyond: Video Bo Jackson" episode, they could easily fill the hour just with people telling Tecmo Bowl stories about Bo. Nobody else was even close."