File This Under 'S' for Shit I Forgot To Update...... 2002-02-19 18:30:58 - Animal Mother
Due to cutthroat levels of competition on the Veeshan server for the phat lewtz mobs like The Va'Dyn, Rhag'Z and Rhag'Mos-def, and the Itraer Vius, we at FoH are giving serious consideration to deleveling to pre-53 levels to regain the throne as the once and future Kings of Gimpy Shit to Kill. Nagafen and Vox's days are in fact numbered.
I only had enough time to get out of the shadows cast upon me by the Zerg Nation to make this mini-update. I fear my days are numbered!
Today's update isn't anything amazing like a Veeshan's Peak clearing. There are no money-shots of gimps standing over the trampled corpse of Grieg Venificus. We will not inspire jaw dropping awe at the "icey" fists of a rampaging maniacal 425 POUNDING Dain Frostreaver IV being laid to rest by 60-80 Crabs. You won't even find a Trakanon kill shot - Rapez0r Corp. is in dire straights. I can only offer the following:
Please do not ask me why or how that gorgeous hunk of man meat, Furor, is able to look directly at the Emperor's Rob Johnson and live. All I can tell you is that they both like to shop and they both listen to Culture Club.. a lot.
"Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream.... Red, gold and green... Red, gold and green" - indeed....
I Know You've Seen This Before.. But 2002-02-18 05:32:03 - Main Tankin' Pussy Numero Uno
Have you ever seen the Avatar of War die... on WEED?!?
Actually... we capped his ass with a mere 44 people. While other guilds pat themselves on the back for such grand and gimpy accomplishments such as killing Dain Frostreaver IV or clearing VP, we put your tax dollars to work and squeeze out the most bang for your buck.
To add insult to the Avatar's injuries - we pulled off this mastery in Clerical Healin' and Main Tankin' with a mere 2 rogues and 3 monks! What is this world coming to?!
Somewhere in this world a (swordsman) is crying... TT ;(
Now back to your regularly scheduled bathhouse shananigans.. uh huh
In other news, Brogg, the guy from 2 or 3 expansions ago, was dropping Ancient Spells. I wanted to give a hearty congratulations to all you people that farmed him and got your new class specific Self-DT spell. Congratulations from me and the staff here at Rapez0r Corp!
50 Foot of Dong Makes First Ever EQ Appearance! 2002-02-15 02:19:28 - Animal Mother
Edward James Almost told you it was coming. You had to know it was coming. Animal Mother's weekly l33t mob update is here!
Today's edition is full of some of some cool shiz followed by yet another FOUL fuckup by our resident asshole, who will remain unnamed... for now.
So we're in the Deep today and Dregor keeps bugging me cause he wants to throw us at the beastial fury which is Kelorek Dar. I told him we'd ro-sham-bo for it, winner chooses raid. So we throw down some Ro-Sham-Bo and he wins 2 out of 3 - but I was having none of that shit. He's an Erudite and we all know Erudites cheat. So I grab his ass by the skirt and turn him upside down and what do I find? Miss Cleo hiding under his nutsack giving him my thoughts on the ro-sham-bo before I even make the hand signals.
Ruling on the field in an instance like this is I always win...
So we group up ninja-style and start making our way down to THO. I wisely decide to check out that big useless wurm to see if anything is going on - surprise surprise!
After an initial test run at the guy where the Halfling Duo got HORRIBLY mangled for being what I like to call "DUMBASS," we regroup and focus on what could be phat lewt.
End result? Shit, you know what the end result is already...
So anyways, oh yea.. that foul asshole I was talking about earlier. Well I don't wanna name names, it just ain't cool. But you can take a guess maybe if you study the following picture.
That's all for today.. I'm gonna have an Adventure Weekend Update tomorrowish, but first I'm late for my roleplay session at Jade. GOTTA RUN!