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Main Tankin' Pussy Numero Uno was GOING to do this update, but I beat his ass down with his own severed arm and threw him into a gutter. There will be no ass kissing, "Verant is trying so hard!" bullshit update. They can kiss my ass..

BEHOLD!



Now what I'm about to show you may piss you off... hell, I know it'll piss you off. I don't need to even comment. Just take a peep at this shit.



Now I'm no Gold Medal Winning Special Olympian like some of the fellas that design this game, but I KNOW when I've been straight up bamboozled. No, you CANNOT change one word in the name of an item and fool me into thinking it's a different item. Yes this is the same exact ring that drops off of the Arch Lich.

We also got this sword. Pretty nice, except for one small problem - IT FUCKING BLOWS ASS. First of all, due to your limitation with bits or bytes or some shit, you can only code in 127 hps/mana on an item max. FINE, but for fuck's sakes, this is a TWO HANDER. It should be guaranteed MAX HPS/MANA you can give. Secondly, I don't know 'bout you but people that are killing Emperor aren't out killing shit in the Plane of Hate. You MAY wanna rethink that BANE damage.



Fight stats? We had a seriously mind blowing 72 people. If you know us, you know we don't just pull out 72 people unless some serious shit is going down. Everyone that could TWO box a gimp, two boxed a gimp. Hell, Main Tankin' Pussy Numero Uno was even two boxing a wizard. It wasn't pretty, straight up zerg festival right out of the CT manual, but in the end, we won.

This encounter gives me erectile dysfunction.

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Rapez0r Corp. was out for blood. The previous server down went by and the Lord Inquisitor sat inside his little bubble, safe and comfy, much like the Baby Jesus. We were going to kill him before our server downage but for some reason, gay shit like camping for Emperor keys and Shissarbane and other timesinks that are thrown in our laps, took precedence.

So the server came back up yesterday but due to some more stupid shit, we ended up killing other stuff. We actually broke our own AoW record and took him down with 40 people. Jimmy Planedefiler wasn't even present! Proof that those guys kick ass with Jimmy or without...

So anyways, today rolls around and Seru is on the menu. Enter Team He-Bitch:



Now I'll be honest. This fight aggravates me. This zone aggravates me. When I enter Sanctus Seru, my testicles get sweaty. Regardless, shots like this make the excess sweat tolerable:



If you were wondering just who runs in this gang of Shenises and Manginas, here is a picture. Use it as wallpaper when you need inspiration. That's all for this update... I'm off to camp more gay shit and hope and pray that our next High Priest of Ssra loot ends up being 2 star rubies and an extra copy of Theft of Vitae.



-Jimmy Planedefiler


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